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Cheltenham Horse races.   Badged up as the blue ribbon event of the horse racing calendar.

Actually turns out to be a wall to wall fucking Gypsy pikey camp of Guinness swilling wallet stealing cunts, mixing with premiership overpaid uneducated thick footballist cunts and their horrible over made up classless wives being fucked up the arse by a mass of second hand car salesmen from Solihull with shit brummy ascents.  It stinks of piss and shit but the paddock is clean. It’s fucking cold. The food is fucking appalling and the beer tents are like stepping into a Red Cross hospital in a Syrian refugee camp.

Anyone who goes to this sordid shit fest is a fucking weapons grade cunt.

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17 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said:

Cheltenham Horse races.   Badged up as the blue ribbon event of the horse racing calendar.

Actually turns out to be a wall to wall fucking Gypsy pikey camp of Guinness swilling wallet stealing cunts, mixing with premiership overpaid uneducated thick footballist cunts and their horrible over made up classless wives being fucked up the arse by a mass of second hand car salesmen from Solihull with shit brummy ascents.  It stinks of piss and shit but the paddock is clean. It’s fucking cold. The food is fucking appalling and the beer tents are like stepping into a Red Cross hospital in a Syrian refugee camp.

Anyone who goes to this sordid shit fest is a fucking weapons grade cunt.

So I take by all the above that your £50 punt on Sam's profile in the 1.30 fucked up then? 

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Cheltenham tips for tomorrow (from a really good source):

Cheltenham tips..  1.30 leaky tap, but only if its running.. 2.10 foundation., you can put your house on it. 2.40 creosote, its gr8 over fences..3.10 v-neck is a good jumper.. 3.30 ironing board, you can put your shirt on it. 3.50 dusty rug, never been beaten.. and i was excited about itchyfanny in the last but its been scratched.

 

sorry absolutely shit....

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1 hour ago, Eddie said:

Cheltenham tips for tomorrow (from a really good source):

Cheltenham tips..  1.30 leaky tap, but only if its running.. 2.10 foundation., you can put your house on it. 2.40 creosote, its gr8 over fences..3.10 v-neck is a good jumper.. 3.30 ironing board, you can put your shirt on it. 3.50 dusty rug, never been beaten.. and i was excited about itchyfanny in the last but its been scratched.

 

sorry absolutely shit....

Agreed. 

But have a sympathy like as you're so clearly feeling below par. 

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5 hours ago, Eddie said:

Cheltenham tips for tomorrow (from a really good source):

Cheltenham tips..  1.30 leaky tap, but only if its running.. 2.10 foundation., you can put your house on it. 2.40 creosote, its gr8 over fences..3.10 v-neck is a good jumper.. 3.30 ironing board, you can put your shirt on it. 3.50 dusty rug, never been beaten.. and i was excited about itchyfanny in the last but its been scratched.

 

sorry absolutely shit....

What about Sir Punkape? A tryer but always coming up the rear

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They're under starter's orders and they're off!  Big Tits got a flyer and is the first to show. Arsehole was slowly away. And as they settle down it's Big Tits from Vagina with The Prick tucked in behind these two. Then comes the blinkered Buttocks being pressed by The Poof. Going steadily behind these five is The Wanker and trailing the field is Arsehole. And as they start to climb the hill, it's Vagina who just shows clear of Buttocks. The Prick is close up third, nothing between these three. Big Tits is hanging slightly to the left, tucked in behind is The Poof. Still trailing the field is Arsehole. There is The Poof again making a challenge with Arsehole under pressure, but finding nothing. And as they race to the line it's Vagina being pressed by The Prick, with The Poof making rapid progress, trying to squeeze in between Buttocks and the rail. The Prick and Vagina, nothing between these two. And The Wanker's coming with a late run! The Wanker is coming with a late run! And Big Tits has dropped out of it all together! And with a hundred yards to go, it's the Prick and Vagina, drawing clear. The Prick and Vagina, stride for stride, length and line, it must be a photo. I can't separate them but I think The Poof takes third from The Wanker, and still to finish is the tiring Arsehole.  Well, one hell of a race.

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7 hours ago, DrCunt said:

They're under starter's orders and they're off!  Big Tits got a flyer and is the first to show. Arsehole was slowly away. And as they settle down it's Big Tits from Vagina with The Prick tucked in behind these two. Then comes the blinkered Buttocks being pressed by The Poof. Going steadily behind these five is The Wanker and trailing the field is Arsehole. And as they start to climb the hill, it's Vagina who just shows clear of Buttocks. The Prick is close up third, nothing between these three. Big Tits is hanging slightly to the left, tucked in behind is The Poof. Still trailing the field is Arsehole. There is The Poof again making a challenge with Arsehole under pressure, but finding nothing. And as they race to the line it's Vagina being pressed by The Prick, with The Poof making rapid progress, trying to squeeze in between Buttocks and the rail. The Prick and Vagina, nothing between these two. And The Wanker's coming with a late run! The Wanker is coming with a late run! And Big Tits has dropped out of it all together! And with a hundred yards to go, it's the Prick and Vagina, drawing clear. The Prick and Vagina, stride for stride, length and line, it must be a photo. I can't separate them but I think The Poof takes third from The Wanker, and still to finish is the tiring Arsehole.  Well, one hell of a race.

Fucking class, Doc.  Have a like!  

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1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Fucking class, Doc.  Have a like!  

Out and out plagarism I'm afraid, c/o Messrs Derek and Clive. Comedy gold.

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8 hours ago, DrCunt said:

They're under starter's orders and they're off!  Big Tits got a flyer and is the first to show. Arsehole was slowly away. And as they settle down it's Big Tits from Vagina with The Prick tucked in behind these two. Then comes the blinkered Buttocks being pressed by The Poof. Going steadily behind these five is The Wanker and trailing the field is Arsehole. And as they start to climb the hill, it's Vagina who just shows clear of Buttocks. The Prick is close up third, nothing between these three. Big Tits is hanging slightly to the left, tucked in behind is The Poof. Still trailing the field is Arsehole. There is The Poof again making a challenge with Arsehole under pressure, but finding nothing. And as they race to the line it's Vagina being pressed by The Prick, with The Poof making rapid progress, trying to squeeze in between Buttocks and the rail. The Prick and Vagina, nothing between these two. And The Wanker's coming with a late run! The Wanker is coming with a late run! And Big Tits has dropped out of it all together! And with a hundred yards to go, it's the Prick and Vagina, drawing clear. The Prick and Vagina, stride for stride, length and line, it must be a photo. I can't separate them but I think The Poof takes third from The Wanker, and still to finish is the tiring Arsehole.  Well, one hell of a race.

Outrageous fucking plagiarism. If Pete and Dud weren’t dead, they should sue. 

Herewith, the original.

 

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2 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Outrageous fucking plagiarism. If Pete and Dud weren’t dead, they should sue. 

Herewith, the original.

 

Can't imagine what made you think that! Doh! ^^^^

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17 hours ago, Monumental cunt said:

Cheltenham Horse races.   Badged up as the blue ribbon event of the horse racing calendar.

Actually turns out to be a wall to wall fucking Gypsy pikey camp of Guinness swilling wallet stealing cunts, mixing with premiership overpaid uneducated thick footballist cunts and their horrible over made up classless wives being fucked up the arse by a mass of second hand car salesmen from Solihull with shit brummy ascents.  It stinks of piss and shit but the paddock is clean. It’s fucking cold. The food is fucking appalling and the beer tents are like stepping into a Red Cross hospital in a Syrian refugee camp.

Anyone who goes to this sordid shit fest is a fucking weapons grade cunt.

Agreed. Cheltenham is a fucking toilet and gets worse every year, only surpassed by Aintree, which swims in WAGs and Pikeys every April. The Dante Festival At York is a much better experience, so point your marketing team there for your office trip next year. 

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1 minute ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I’d have let you off if you attributed it. 

They were very funny men. You facking facking khant.

CC isn't a peer reviewed scientific journal, ffs! It's such a famous sketch 90% of the punters would recognise it immediately, so attributing it is like adding a reference to support the statement "water is wet".

Fuck off.

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4 minutes ago, DrCunt said:

CC isn't a peer reviewed scientific journal, ffs!

 

2 minutes ago, DrCunt said:

CC isn't a peer reviewed scientific journal, ffs! It's such a famous sketch 90% of the punters would recognise it immediately, so attributing it is like adding a reference to support the statement "water is wet".

Fuck off.

Do you have a stutter?

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3 hours ago, DrCunt said:

CC isn't a peer reviewed scientific journal, ffs!

You called? I don't require some kind of bribe for favourable reviews and a paper copy I can shove up bill and dex arseholes

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22 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

So I take by all the above that your £50 punt on Sam's profile in the 1.30 fucked up then? 

I thought you might be at Cheltenham getting shagged against a wheelie bin behind a downmarket catering tent by one of Tyson Fury’s Uncles...

lol.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

I thought you might be at Cheltenham getting shagged against a wheelie bin behind a downmarket catering tent by one of Tyson Fury’s Uncles...

lol.

 

 

Nope. But I can put in a word for you if you like? 

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On 14/03/2019 at 00:13, Monumental cunt said:

Cheltenham Horse races.   Badged up as the blue ribbon event of the horse racing calendar.

Actually turns out to be a wall to wall fucking Gypsy pikey camp of Guinness swilling wallet stealing cunts, mixing with premiership overpaid uneducated thick footballist cunts and their horrible over made up classless wives being fucked up the arse by a mass of second hand car salesmen from Solihull with shit brummy ascents.  It stinks of piss and shit but the paddock is clean. It’s fucking cold. The food is fucking appalling and the beer tents are like stepping into a Red Cross hospital in a Syrian refugee camp.

Anyone who goes to this sordid shit fest is a fucking weapons grade cunt.

You seem to know a lot about its sights and sounds. Are you a second-hand car salesmen from Solihull with a shit Brummy accent?

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Best four days of the year.

I'm in profit. The Old Butchers in Stow On The Wold serves the best steak in Gloucestershire and if Stand Up And Fight wins the Foxhunters today I'm off on an orgy of self-destruction that would make George Best shit treacle.

Enjoy your 'you don't have to be mad to work here (but it helps)' drudge, redundos! I'm off riding the Freedom Moped straight outta Compton (turn left and it's by the pub near the cemetery)

 

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8 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

I thought you might be at Cheltenham getting shagged against a wheelie bin behind a downmarket catering tent by one of Tyson Fury’s Uncles...

lol.

 

 

Reported

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Another example of a once cherished sporting jewel that's sold out to corporate overkill. Gone is Peter Osullevan on the BBC and in come a bunch of ITV cunts of the Matt Chapman calibre which sums it all up perfectly - classless, soulless and unprofessional by choice. 

Now fuck off with your accas and degenerate problem gambling. 

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3 minutes ago, Arthur Fuqs-Aches said:

Another example of a once cherished sporting jewel that's sold out to corporate overkill. Gone is Peter Osullevan on the BBC and in come a bunch of ITV cunts of the Matt Chapman calibre which sums it all up perfectly - classless, soulless and unprofessional by choice. 

Now fuck off with your accas and degenerate problem gambling. 

Agreed. Gambling, the government's new addiction to push on the masses, now that fags and beer are politically incorrect. 

Fat, tattooed retarded chav slags with eleven brown kids, thinking that spunking their child benefits on Foxy Bingo and 'scratchies' is akin to 'living the high life'.

And any man who uses the term 'acca' in a non ironic fashion, needs to be glassed with a broken vase, covered in dogshit.

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