Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 Some of you lot are gonna be skint within the first week of this latest legislation. 'Porn Passes' are being introduced which will prevent you watching filth unless you can cough-up. A single use Porn Pass is £4.99 and a Porn Pass for multiple use is £8.99, and the only way to obtain one is to either provide the Porn Site of your choice with details of your Passport, a valid Drivers Licence and/or your Bank Card. The second option is to purchase your Porn Pass from a Local Shop, and this will also involve providing your local Newsagent with the same means of id and a valid address. David Cameron instigated this legislation several years back, and it has now been formalised and finalised. £4.99 does seem a bit steep for a five knuckle shuffle, particularly if you live up North, where I am told you can get knackers-deep with a Scouse bird and still get enough change for a bag of chips from a fiver. Oggle at this whilst you can, Gratis. Soon they'll cost you a staggering £4.99. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 I believe one esteemed member of CC has a satellite dish in his garden that can get porn from even the far reaches of the old Soviet Asia, that needs no porn pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 46 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Some of you lot are gonna be skint within the first week of this latest legislation. 'Porn Passes' are being introduced which will prevent you watching filth unless you can cough-up. A single use Porn Pass is £4.99 and a Porn Pass for multiple use is £8.99, and the only way to obtain one is to either provide the Porn Site of your choice with details of your Passport, a valid Drivers Licence and/or your Bank Card. The second option is to purchase your Porn Pass from a Local Shop, and this will also involve providing your local Newsagent with the same means of id and a valid address. David Cameron instigated this legislation several years back, and it has now been formalised and finalised. £4.99 does seem a bit steep for a five knuckle shuffle, particularly if you live up North, where I am told you can get knackers-deep with a Scouse bird and still get enough change for a bag of chips from a fiver. Oggle at this whilst you can, Gratis. Soon they'll cost you a staggering £4.99. I'm planning to make a killing off this - just download as much as you can now, burn it on DVD's, then sell them for a quid cheaper than the official porn passes - not going to be the grotty cunt handing it all out to desperate wankers, mind - let me know if you need a job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I'm planning to make a killing off this - just download as much as you can now, burn it on DVD's, then sell them for a quid cheaper than the official porn passes - not going to be the grotty cunt handing it all out to desperate wankers, mind - let me know if you need a job. Sorry RK, but Stubbs has beaten you to it. He's secured the above image for 3 quid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 36 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I believe one esteemed member of CC has a satellite dish in his garden that can get porn from even the far reaches of the old Soviet Asia, that needs no porn pass. He'll get nabbed by the Porn Control detector van, for on the spot £150 fine. Or £75 cash in hand (if he's got one to spare) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 36 minutes ago, Roadkill said: I'm planning to make a killing off this - just download as much as you can now, burn it on DVD's, then sell them for a quid cheaper than the official porn passes - not going to be the grotty cunt handing it all out to desperate wankers, mind - let me know if you need a job. I can picture DWF, surrounded by minors whilst he steps out from a shop with box of Kleenex... A crowd of them all tugging at his buttonless raincoat... "hey Mr. can you flog me your porn pass, 'll give ya a fiver for ya part-worn multi-use, like ya sold me bruvver ...." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 10 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: He'll get nabbed by the Porn Control detector van, for on the spot £150 fine. Or £75 cash in hand (if he's got one to spare) Do you remember that old TV license ad from the 70s? "They're in the front room. And they're watching Columbo". His would be "He's in the garden shed. And he's watching 'Red hot naked Mongolian maidens". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: Some of you lot are gonna be skint within the first week of this latest legislation. 'Porn Passes' are being introduced which will prevent you watching filth unless you can cough-up. A single use Porn Pass is £4.99 and a Porn Pass for multiple use is £8.99, and the only way to obtain one is to either provide the Porn Site of your choice with details of your Passport, a valid Drivers Licence and/or your Bank Card. The second option is to purchase your Porn Pass from a Local Shop, and this will also involve providing your local Newsagent with the same means of id and a valid address. David Cameron instigated this legislation several years back, and it has now been formalised and finalised. £4.99 does seem a bit steep for a five knuckle shuffle, particularly if you live up North, where I am told you can get knackers-deep with a Scouse bird and still get enough change for a bag of chips from a fiver. Oggle at this whilst you can, Gratis. Soon they'll cost you a staggering £4.99. Not going to happen, not his year maybe not ever. Effective 1st April the scheme will be voluntary. The Digital Economy Act has been watered down because no-one, especially the content providers, are satisfied that the licencing agent is competent enough to hold private data securely. Content providers are especially vexed that the preferred choice of licensing administrator is operated by the same firm that owns YouPorn as this gives them an unfair competitive advantage of knowing the porn preferences 20 million UK users. After April the worst that the regulator (the venerable BBFC) can do is "ask" paywall firms to withhold payment to content providers who aren't using an age verification service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 10 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said: Not going to happen, not his year maybe not ever. Effective 1st April the scheme will be voluntary. The Digital Economy Act has been watered down because no-one, especially the content providers, are satisfied that the licencing agent is competent enough to hold private data securely. Content providers are especially vexed that the preferred choice of licensing administrator is operated by the same firm that owns YouPorn as this gives them an unfair competitive advantage of knowing the porn preferences 20 million UK users. After April the worst that the regulator (the venerable BBFC) can do is "ask" paywall firms to withhold payment to content providers who aren't using an age verification service. … and who will get the £4.99 and/or benefit from the £8.99's? Surely, it will promote new would-be production companies to filming filth 'legitimately.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: … and who will get the £4.99 and/or benefit from the £8.99's? Surely, it will promote new would-be production companies to filming filth 'legitimately.' Enough of your scaremongering nonsense. Several of us are quite distressed. Neil is in therapy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said: I believe one esteemed member of CC has a satellite dish in his garden that can get porn from even the far reaches of the old Soviet Asia, that needs no porn pass. Soviet Asia!!?? Old hat all that 'duct taped to a crucifix' crap. He's got it for that X-Rated Martian stuff that's beaming out across the cosmos. Some sick shit I believe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 25 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Enough of your scaremongering nonsense. Several of us are quite distressed. Neil is in therapy. I believe Neil's the one with the satellite dish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 3 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: … and who will get the £4.99 and/or benefit from the £8.99's? Surely, it will promote new would-be production companies to filming filth 'legitimately.' Drop the ‘99’s’ you fucking stupid cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, Frank said: Drop the ‘99’s’ you fucking stupid cunt. Drop the fucking squeaky toy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 7 minutes ago, Frank said: Drop the ‘99’s’ you fucking stupid cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 43 minutes ago, Frank said: Drop the ‘99’s’ you fucking stupid cunt. Drop dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 4 fucking 99!...I'm going to have to get some serious wank bank deposits or I'll be wankrupt in no time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 5 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Enough of your scaremongering nonsense. Several of us are quite distressed. Neil is in therapy. Neil is seeing the rapist? Interesting post considering the subject matter...then again it is Neil, the cunt should be institutionalized and given a lobotomy in the pleasure centre of his one track brain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 3 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Neil is seeing the rapist? Interesting post considering the subject matter...then again it is Neil, the cunt should be institutionalized and given a lobotomy in the pleasure centre of his one track brain. Not Psycho the rapist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Not Psycho the rapist? Two of a kind, them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 5 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Neil is seeing the rapist? Interesting post considering the subject matter...then again it is Neil, the cunt should be institutionalized and given a lobotomy in the pleasure centre of his one track brain. Yes Grimsby, he's seeing 'the-rapist' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: Yes Grimsby, he's seeing 'the-rapist' Why Eric, if I didn't know better, I'd think that was a barb at my expense! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 26, 2019 Report Share Posted March 26, 2019 1 hour ago, Wizardsleeve said: Why Eric, if I didn't know better, I'd think that was a barb at my expense! LOL Not at all, just letting you know I got the film reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted March 27, 2019 Report Share Posted March 27, 2019 Ha! To think everycunt ridiculed me for hanging on to my collection of spring/summer Grattans catalogues. Well fuck you. Who's laughing now?* *Not me, I've put my back out trying to lift the cunts. They're like tablets of stone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted March 27, 2019 Report Share Posted March 27, 2019 18 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: … and who will get the £4.99 and/or benefit from the £8.99's? Surely, it will promote new would-be production companies to filming filth 'legitimately.' Content providers won't see a penny of it. It used to be that producing porn was a licence to print money. Ironically t'internet has put paid to that as producers made their money from VCR and DVD sales. In its infancy, producers were happy to post teaser pages on link sites which generated revenue. Now that the www is universally available thousands of low cost producers have swamped the market. Nowadays, the successful producers are those that provide high quality niche content to limited audiences who have a particular bent. The Digital Economy Bill (Age Verification) will fail for a plethora of other reasons as well. Punters can now access a reliable, safe VPN from most proprietary anti-virus apps free of charge and producers can access servers abroad so unless the UK govt is willing to impose a Chinese style control on its citizens then the proposed legislation will simply not work. The govt might just get away with this in regards to mainstream VoD streaming with publishers like Netflix but that's about it. I've previously mentioned that content providers are not happy with customer lists in the hands of a competitor but the BBFC have also got its knickers in a twist over trying to codify what is porn and what is "depraved" and consequently no one knows what type of content needs to be licenced. To give an example, rape, forced sex, female (but not male) centric dominatrix, bondage and pain (light spanking allowed!) will not pass the censor and perversely, female ejaculation is forbidden but male ejaculation is OK. I won't even go into American First Amendment issues but suffice to say a lot more work is needed by the Dept of Media Culture & Sport who are somewhat distracted by other more pressing issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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