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Cars, Bikes, Trucks et al.


Wolfie

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No hate here. Only love. I can talk cars and bikes all day. I know there are quite a few other petrolheads on the site, so with spring/summer approaching what better way than to appreciate one of life's great pleasures? In the past I've owned a Mk1 Mini, two MX5s and an Elise, and I currently drive a 20-year-old Land Rover Defender and pimped-up Smart car. This, below, is among my dream cars. There, I've said it.

 

 

 

 

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27 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

No hate here. Only love. I can talk cars and bikes all day. I know there are quite a few other petrolheads on the site, so with spring/summer approaching what better way than to appreciate one of life's great pleasures? In the past I've owned a Mk1 Mini, two MX5s and an Elise, and I currently drive a 20-year-old Land Rover Defender and pimped-up Smart car. This, below, is among my dream cars. There, I've said it.

 

 

 

 

Fancy list - more impressive than anything I've ever driven - but you should have left the Smart car out as now I think of you as a bit of a puff if I'm entirely honest...

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6 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

Fancy list - more impressive than anything I've ever driven - but you should have left the Smart car out as now I think of you as a bit of a puff if I'm entirely honest...

Anyone who owns a Smart car will know just how much fun – in spite of their lack of power – these great little things are. Mine is cheap to insure; tax-exempt; well-engineered; about half the cost of my 4x4 to own; and I can choose between a fully auto or semi-manual gearbox. I love it. It's noisy, bumpy, handles like a go-cart and is just about as entertaining as all of my previous (and faster) sports cars. What is it you drive again, Killer?

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I'm not a car man, I don't particularly like driving and I'll buy any old shit that gets me from A to B.

Saying that, my old man had a fourth generation Honda Prelude in the mid-90s and I remember being in the car and him doing over a ton down the A47. Up to that point, all I'd known were the 'rents driving Rovers and Fords and I remember being absolutely blown away.

I know Honda has a somewhat ropey reputation nowadays, but at the time I was in love.

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15 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Anyone who owns a Smart car will know just how much fun – in spite of their lack of power – these great little things are. Mine is cheap to insure; tax-exempt; well-engineered; about half the cost of my 4x4 to own; and I can choose between a fully auto or semi-manual gearbox. I love it. It's noisy, bumpy, handles like a go-cart and is just about as entertaining as all of my previous (and faster) sports cars. What is it you drive again, Killer?

I crashed into the back of a smart car on the motorway a few years back.  A dwarf stepped out of it, walked up to my window and said "I'm not fucking happy" to which I replied "Which one are you then"? 

Here all week. 

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32 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I crashed into the back of a smart car on the motorway a few years back.  A dwarf stepped out of it, walked up to my window and said "I'm not fucking happy" to which I replied "Which one are you then"? 

Here all week. 

Sure it wasn't an MG Midget?

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1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

Anyone who owns a Smart car will know just how much fun – in spite of their lack of power – these great little things are. Mine is cheap to insure; tax-exempt; well-engineered; about half the cost of my 4x4 to own; and I can choose between a fully auto or semi-manual gearbox. I love it. It's noisy, bumpy, handles like a go-cart and is just about as entertaining as all of my previous (and faster) sports cars. What is it you drive again, Killer?

I'm confused, I presume you're referring to the Smart Roadster which ceased production on account of its unacceptably high warranty claims. It also attracts a £125 VED across the range.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Something tells me I know you

 

You know the type from your sustainably employable days.  He is the chronically unemployable, drooling, spastic type who has to be restrained in chained to prevent him wanking himself to death over images of corpses in the hospital mortuary.  

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Just now, Wolfie said:

Anyone who owns a Smart car will know just how much fun – in spite of their lack of power – these great little things are. Mine is cheap to insure; tax-exempt; well-engineered; about half the cost of my 4x4 to own; and I can choose between a fully auto or semi-manual gearbox. I love it. It's noisy, bumpy, handles like a go-cart and is just about as entertaining as all of my previous (and faster) sports cars. What is it you drive again, Killer?

A Skoda Yeti these days. It's shit. A Fabia Estate before that, a Mazda 2, and the best of the lot if them - a knackered old Proton Saga for my first car. Like I say, not as impressive as what you've had - but at least none of them were Smart cars. People with man buns drive those whilst men who wear leggings and have beards suck them off. I mean,  fair enough, it's an impressive feat in such an enclosed space, but it simply doesn't attract me as a buyer...

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45 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Christ and the CC strapline is 'Football is for Irons!'

Why not form a big old fisting daisy chain, Jeremy Clarkson at the back, in the car park at Clackett Lane Services, whilst reading aloud the racy bits from Auto Trader?

You bunch of absolute wristers!

So, what do you drive, jiggers? 

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5 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

You know the type from your sustainably employable days.  He is the chronically unemployable, drooling, spastic type who has to be restrained in chained to prevent him wanking himself to death over images of corpses in the hospital mortuary.  

@Wizardsleeve something tells me that you are have got obsessive compulsive disorder .. have you washed your hands and checked that the door is locked?

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5 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Not what all the cunts in here actually get about on - Raleigh Grifter bikes with lolly sticks in the spokes to make them sound like Lambrettas

Mine was a grifter XL. The one with the laser graphics and the BMX anti nut-crunch pads. 

Twist grip Sturmey Archer gears were the bollocks.

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12 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Mine was a grifter XL. The one with the laser graphics and the BMX anti nut-crunch pads. 

Twist grip Sturmey Archer gears were the bollocks.

We all had Mk1 chopper bikes when they first came out. Dunno how dad could afford it but over a few days they magically appeared for us all. I was worried because there had been a speight of chopper bike thefts in the area when we got ours so bit worried ours might get nicked but strangely enough ours weren't nicked.

 

 

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9 hours ago, Panzerknacker said:

Ive recently acquired a 2005 ford mondeo estate 2 litre diesel nice car to drive ..in addition to my 99 Citroen dispatch..both fairly easy to work on and cheap to run and maintain

Panzbaby 

And plenty of room for a mattress in the back for the, so called, fitness instructor and the morbidly obese students.

Edited by Cunty BigBollox
Feck off
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Guest 'eavensabove
20 hours ago, Wolfie said:

No hate here. Only love. I can talk cars and bikes all day. I know there are quite a few other petrolheads on the site, so with spring/summer approaching what better way than to appreciate one of life's great pleasures? In the past I've owned a Mk1 Mini, two MX5s and an Elise, and I currently drive a 20-year-old Land Rover Defender and pimped-up Smart car. This, below, is among my dream cars. There, I've said it.

 

 

 

 

Make of this what you will, but in my time I have owned the following:

MK1 and MK 2 Jaguar, Series 1 E-Type Jaguar,  Ford Anglia, MK 1 Consul (customised V8) MK 1 Lotus Cortina, Mk II and MKIII Cortina's, Ford Executive and 3ltr Capri and a Zephier 4.  Vauxhall 101.  MG GBT, a Mini Cooper, a Triumph Vitesse convertible and a Triumph Stag. Austin 7, Lotus 7 and a Jensen Interceptor MK 2.  Chevrolet Monza (V8 Converted) a 1977 Corvette Stingray 1Ltr and a Buick Skylark 350 Coupe... 

I currently run about in a Vauxhall Corsa and my E-Type is in storage and only comes-out to play when at Goodwood. I've never owned a poxy bike. My dream car would be a Bugatti. Zzzzzz 

 

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