Decimus Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 I've just got off of a train from Cambridge after spending an hour absolutely sweltering on a carriage that would make the pony fucking express seem futuristic. Mouth parched and nasal passages contaminated with the stench of commuting cock and balls, I spied a new pub that wasn't there the last time I was unfortunate enough to pay 40 quid to travel Delhi class on one of the hottest days of the year. Tongue lolling in anticipation, I charged in and ordered a pint of San Miguel. No sooner had the first drop touched my tongue, than the generic eastern European behind the bar barked "£5.80" into my face. Five fucking eighty? In Norwich? Suck my fucking dick. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 Serves you right for drinking Spanish dish water. Cunts like you drinking exotic piss lead to the demise of Norwich Brewery. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 You were on a train? Bullshit. Didn't happen. ©Judgefuckwit. P.S. £5.80? You should have smashed the glass on the bar and stabbed the cunt in the face with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 17, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 3 minutes ago, DrCunt said: You were on a train? Bullshit. Didn't happen. ©Judgefuckwit. P.S. £5.80? You should have smashed the glass on the bar and stabbed the cunt in the face with it. I'd refer you to my review on TripAdvisor, but I suspect that it would endanger my flimsy Corner disguise and make it about effective as Clark Kent's "Take my glasses off" schtick. As for The Judge, I'll wager that he will act with the tedious incredulity that he is renowned for when he's asked to accept that anyone is solvent enough to have £5.80 in their pocket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 1 hour ago, Decimus said: I've just got off of a train from Cambridge after spending an hour absolutely sweltering on a carriage that would make the pony fucking express seem futuristic. Mouth parched and nasal passages contaminated with the stench of commuting cock and balls, I spied a new pub that wasn't there the last time I was unfortunate enough to pay 40 quid to travel Delhi class on one of the hottest days of the year. Tongue lolling in anticipation, I charged in and ordered a pint of San Miguel. No sooner had the first drop touched my tongue, than the generic eastern European behind the bar barked "£5.80" into my face. Five fucking eighty? In Norwich? Suck my fucking dick. Pile of shit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 17, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 2 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: Pile of shit. Needless to say, despite the Kronenbourg being a quid cheaper, I just couldn't stand to put anything French in my mouth. Idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 1 hour ago, Decimus said: I've just got off of a train from Cambridge after spending an hour absolutely sweltering on a carriage that would make the pony fucking express seem futuristic. Mouth parched and nasal passages contaminated with the stench of commuting cock and balls, I spied a new pub that wasn't there the last time I was unfortunate enough to pay 40 quid to travel Delhi class on one of the hottest days of the year. Tongue lolling in anticipation, I charged in and ordered a pint of San Miguel. No sooner had the first drop touched my tongue, than the generic eastern European behind the bar barked "£5.80" into my face. Five fucking eighty? In Norwich? Suck my fucking dick. It is a "RAILWAY" Station you bog dwelling peasant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 17 minutes ago, The Guard said: It is a "RAILWAY" Station you bog dwelling peasant. Actually it's a fucking TERMINUS and not a station, you fucking piss soaked hag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 Just now, Cunty BigBollox said: Actually it's a fucking TERMINUS and not a station, you fucking piss soaked hag. It is still a fucking RAILWAY Station. Get fucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 1 hour ago, Decimus said: I've just got off of a train from Cambridge after spending an hour absolutely sweltering on a carriage that would make the pony fucking express seem futuristic. Mouth parched and nasal passages contaminated with the stench of commuting cock and balls, I spied a new pub that wasn't there the last time I was unfortunate enough to pay 40 quid to travel Delhi class on one of the hottest days of the year. Tongue lolling in anticipation, I charged in and ordered a pint of San Miguel. No sooner had the first drop touched my tongue, than the generic eastern European behind the bar barked "£5.80" into my face. Five fucking eighty? In Norwich? Suck my fucking dick. Overkill. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 15 minutes ago, Decimus said: Needless to say, despite the Kronenbourg being a quid cheaper, I just couldn't stand to put anything French in my mouth. Idiot. Had you been aboard the Northerner Express, you'd have been asked to leave a 5p deposit for the glass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 1 hour ago, Decimus said: I'd refer you to my review on TripAdvisor, but I suspect that it would endanger my flimsy Corner disguise and make it about effective as Clark Kent's "Take my glasses off" schtick. Too late, Stevie boy, you're my bitch now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 19 minutes ago, Frank said: Overkill. Goes with the underbite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said: Goes with the underbite. Where for art thou hast thou been? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 17, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 32 minutes ago, Frank said: Overkill. Maybe I should have condensed it down to an artistic 10 second video where I threw a Tina Turner wig at a sanitary towel bin whilst screaming "£5.80? Witherrrrsssss?!" You fucking wanker. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Decimus said: Maybe I should have condensed it down to an artistic 10 second video where I threw a Tina Turner wig at a sanitary towel bin whilst screaming "£5.80? Witherrrrsssss?!" You fucking wanker. The only chow-chow that he's been on, is John Thomas the Fwank Engine Edited April 17, 2019 by 'eavensabove Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted April 17, 2019 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 5 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: The only chow-chow that he's been on, is John Thomas the Fwank Engine Fucking hell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 38 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Too late, Stevie boy, you're my bitch now. Imagine if there were a direct train from Glasgow to Norwich? At £5.80 a pint for that piss every member of staff in the establishment would have been glassed to death by now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 38 minutes ago, Decimus said: Maybe I should have condensed it down to an artistic 10 second video where I threw a Tina Turner wig at a sanitary towel bin whilst screaming "£5.80? Witherrrrsssss?!" You fucking wanker. Please don't involve me. I have stated that Fwank is a snidey cunt. That should suffice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 51 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Too late, Stevie boy, you're my bitch now. He gave a good review of the pork belly with black pudding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 26 minutes ago, DrCunt said: Imagine if there were a direct train from Glasgow to Norwich? At £5.80 a pint for that piss every member of staff in the establishment would have been glassed to death by now. I have just completed reviewing your recent posts, and have come to the conclusion that you are a violent, gay bashing, xenophobic bigot, with psychopathic traits. I am warming to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 10 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said: I have just completed reviewing your recent posts, and have come to the conclusion that you are a violent, gay bashing, xenophobic bigot, with psychopathic traits. I am warming to you. Is he supposed to be pleased that a sneaking, sycophantic fuck-pig wanker is warming to him? Personally I can’t see him giving a flying fuck what you think. I certainly don’t. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 3 hours ago, Decimus said: I've just got off of a train from Cambridge after spending an hour absolutely sweltering on a carriage that would make the pony fucking express seem futuristic. Mouth parched and nasal passages contaminated with the stench of commuting cock and balls, I spied a new pub that wasn't there the last time I was unfortunate enough to pay 40 quid to travel Delhi class on one of the hottest days of the year. Tongue lolling in anticipation, I charged in and ordered a pint of San Miguel. No sooner had the first drop touched my tongue, than the generic eastern European behind the bar barked "£5.80" into my face. Five fucking eighty? In Norwich? Suck my fucking dick. For 5.80 I'm sure Punkers will oblige. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 32 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: For 5.80 I'm sure Punkers will oblige. A quick stroll from Norwich Station along Riverside and he could have got that for free in Lollard's Pit or The Castle. Not sure he could have got a pint though. It's probably compulsory to have an umbrella in your drink in both establishments. Probably could have got a BJ from a hairy lady called Clive in the Complete Dangler too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 17, 2019 Report Share Posted April 17, 2019 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Fucking hell. Dare I say it, it's the 18:46 to the Isle of Dogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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