Cuntybaws Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 Plump brides have that whiff of desperation about them as they rush to tie the knot before sliding further down the scale from “Karen Carpenter” towards “morbidly obese”, the sort of cunts who describe themselves as “voluptuous” or “Rubenesque” rather than the more accurate “hamster-cheeked” or “lard-arsed”. Sadly for them – and for their poor deluded husbands – their wedding day is the best they'll ever look. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 11 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Plump brides have that whiff of desperation about them as they rush to tie the knot before sliding further down the scale from “Karen Carpenter” towards “morbidly obese”, the sort of cunts who describe themselves as “voluptuous” or “Rubenesque” rather than the more accurate “hamster-cheeked” or “lard-arsed”. Sadly for them – and for their poor deluded husbands – their wedding day is the best they'll ever look. Haha is that actually her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted May 14, 2019 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 1 minute ago, Decimus said: Haha is that actually her? Christ, no. I'm not getting banned again. (Although, technically, as she's not a member any more...) The words are the original text, but Cuntwad's picture has been replaced by some generic munter that the Memebase crew have christened "Cake Bride". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 They all fucking end up that way 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 16 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Plump brides have that whiff of desperation about them as they rush to tie the knot before sliding further down the scale from “Karen Carpenter” towards “morbidly obese”, the sort of cunts who describe themselves as “voluptuous” or “Rubenesque” rather than the more accurate “hamster-cheeked” or “lard-arsed”. Sadly for them – and for their poor deluded husbands – their wedding day is the best they'll ever look. Fucking hell! Looks like he's digging a woman out of an avalanche with a spoon... Did Cuntwad fit into this category? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 25 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Plump brides have that whiff of desperation about them as they rush to tie the knot before sliding further down the scale from “Karen Carpenter” towards “morbidly obese”, the sort of cunts who describe themselves as “voluptuous” or “Rubenesque” rather than the more accurate “hamster-cheeked” or “lard-arsed”. Sadly for them – and for their poor deluded husbands – their wedding day is the best they'll ever look. Munchie Box! The treat you can eat between meals, without ruining your appetite. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted May 14, 2019 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 Just now, Decimus said: Size fucking seven feet? Is he Leo Sayer? Height 5' 8", weight 140 pounds, according to that same profile. Sayer's fucking hair alone weighed more than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 1 hour ago, Roadkill said: Fucking hell! Looks like he's digging a woman out of an avalanche with a spoon... Did Cuntwad fit into this category? She's not overweight, she's undertall. She simply needs to grow another 8' 3" to reach "normal" body mass index. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 You get blokes who are 'Feeders' - a genuine condition, which basically presents itself as an insecure bloke bagging a hottie and then, to ensure hottie never leaves (either to make her unattractive to other blokes or that she has a heart attack the moment she tries to make a bolt for it) they stuff them full of cake at every opportunity. Without going into great detail, I have a relative who was a world champion athlete. First boyfriend couldn't stand the attention she was getting so, in direct contravention to the dietary regime her governing body developed for her and expected her to stick to, said bloke used to get her 'little treats', which he thought was endearing but was actually an exercise in 'gross (ha!) manipulation. He had to go - and ended up marrying a heifer from Dewsbury Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said: Plump brides have that whiff of desperation about them as they rush to tie the knot before sliding further down the scale from “Karen Carpenter” towards “morbidly obese”, the sort of cunts who describe themselves as “voluptuous” or “Rubenesque” rather than the more accurate “hamster-cheeked” or “lard-arsed”. Sadly for them – and for their poor deluded husbands – their wedding day is the best they'll ever look. This is the stuff of legend! Fuck me, the replacement Cuntwad looks like she must have her own local gravity. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 8 minutes ago, Ape said: This is the stuff of legend! Fuck me, the replacement Cuntwad looks like she must have her own local gravity. So that's you on the left is it @Ape? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 Ah, the famed Helen Howson. I wonder what she's up to these days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said: He had to go - and ended up marrying a heifer from Dewsbury Surely Dewhursts? 🤔 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 14, 2019 Report Share Posted May 14, 2019 4 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Height 5' 8", weight 140 pounds, according to that same profile. Sayer's fucking hair alone weighed more than that. 3 hours ago, Ape said: This is the stuff of legend! Fuck me, the replacement Cuntwad looks like she must have her own local gravity. She's got her own postcode Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 @Neil Would you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 6 hours ago, Neil said: They all fucking end up that way 'We're gonna need a bigger patio' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: 'We're gonna need a bigger patio' Larger moo-moo's, an elevated toilet with a cement base reinforcement, a bidet with firehose power and double doors throughout the bedsit, as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 3 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Larger moo-moo's, an elevated toilet with a cement base reinforcement, a bidet with firehose power and double doors throughout the bedsit, as well. I'm worried about the lads from 2 Para. They've all been left with rucksacks full of string, because this cunt wanted a dress at short notice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I'm worried about the lads from 2 Para. They've all been left with rucksacks full of string, because this cunt wanted a dress at short notice. Three sizes larger to accommodate the numerous cakes and crisps to be ingested and still look "fit and trim." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 2 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Three sizes larger to accommodate the numerous cakes and crisps to be ingested and still look "fit and trim." Her back is marked on ordnance survey maps as 'Thoracic Park'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: Her back is marked on ordnance survey maps as 'Thoracic Park'. With all the grease she consumes, are the spots also categorized as volcanic hot spots? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 3 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: With all the grease she consumes, are the spots also categorized as volcanic hot spots? I imagine that pus, snot, and the crispy yellow stuff in the corners of her eyes, all count as nutrition in her world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 25 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I imagine that pus, snot, and the crispy yellow stuff in the corners of her eyes, all count as nutrition in her world. What about the crispy yellowish gunk in the corners of her flaps? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 6 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: What about the crispy yellowish gunk in the corners of her flaps? That's just paint chips from the axle stands her hubby uses to hold her guts up while he's fucking her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 15, 2019 Report Share Posted May 15, 2019 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: That's just paint chips from the axle stands her hubby uses to hold her guts up while he's fucking her. Here I thought it was yellow corn flour that didn't get pressure washed out after her in it to find the wet spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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