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R.N.L.I. cunts


Earl of Punkape

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Guest judgetwi

The RNLI are a bunch of cunts. I used to be a big contributor until they ripped me off for £75 . I won’t go into the boring details but they ripped me off good and proper. They kept sending me all their begging shit until, eventually, they sent me a letter saying “can you please tell us if we are going to actually get anymore dough out of you so we don’t have to waste our time asking for it?” 

All these big charities are rip off cunts, paying out huge amounts of money to “executives” like that Miliband cunt, funding third world dictators and paying for perverts to sexually exploit children. They are the biggest cunts in the world. 

Fuck children in need, fuck Red Nose Day and fuck the fucking BBC. 

Fuck Esther fucking Rantzen, fuck  Bonio, fuck Goboff and fuck the cunts at Jimmy Saville House still hiding from so called British justice.

Burn in hell you fucking CUNTS!!

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1 hour ago, judgetwi said:

The RNLI are a bunch of cunts. I used to be a big contributor until they ripped me off for £75 . I won’t go into the boring details but they ripped me off good and proper.

In my experience, the soft-minded types who gave money to Lifeboats, once you excluded those cretins who liked the car sticker for the Austin Maestro, fell into two distinct but not mutually-exclusive camps. 

First were the boatie crowd who saw funding the RNLI as an investment in their personal safety. Given that if ever you got into trouble off Margate, you could simply flip your wobbling corpulent pink frame onto it’s back and float back to Blighty like a dog turd in a storm drain, this seems unlikely. 

So you must be in the second group, those odd characters who get turned on by bearded Cornishmen in cable-knit sweaters, who spend their evenings discussing how to tie a clove hitch and getting dewy-eyed over a sea shanty. Weird doesn’t come close. If this sounds like you, I have a couple of Grandma’s old Foster & Allen videos you can wank yourself blind over. 

As a self-avowed working-class hero, I’m surprised at your involvement with the RNLI, unless of course it’s the flag on their logo that moistens your gusset. You lot love a flag, don’t you?

Cunt. 

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Guest judgetwi
27 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

In my experience, the soft-minded types who gave money to Lifeboats, once you excluded those cretins who liked the car sticker for the Austin Maestro, fell into two distinct but not mutually-exclusive camps. 

First were the boatie crowd who saw funding the RNLI as an investment in their personal safety. Given that if ever you got into trouble off Margate, you could simply flip your wobbling corpulent pink frame onto it’s back and float back to Blighty like a dog turd in a storm drain, this seems unlikely. 

So you must be in the second group, those odd characters who get turned on by bearded Cornishmen in cable-knit sweaters, who spend their evenings discussing how to tie a clove hitch and getting dewy-eyed over a sea shanty. Weird doesn’t come close. If this sounds like you, I have a couple of Grandma’s old Foster & Allen videos you can wank yourself blind over. 

As a self-avowed working-class hero, I’m surprised at your involvement with the RNLI, unless of course it’s the flag on their logo that moistens your gusset. You lot love a flag, don’t you?

Cunt. 

Ooooh....... clutch my pearls pretend rich boy! 😃

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Guest Salty Piss Flap
6 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

On a recent golfing holiday I met a collection of these amateur wankers in the local pub celebrating the rescue of a pet dog.What a complete shambles of alcoholic layabouts posing in paramilitary uniforms as if they were the Special Boat Service.

Now these people are not paid and do their Thunderbirds on water bit in their free time.However the British public deserves better.In the USA such duties are covered by the U.S. Coastguard who are professionals, many of whom are ex-military.They are armed, protect the borders from migrant scum as well as providing a professional rescue service.

In the post Brexit world we require a similar if not better professionally competent set up.

I don’t want the crew of a foundering yacht to be subject to a pissed rabble of butcher,baker or candlestick maker.The R.N.L.I should be disbanded and made into a professional emergency service to protect us from 3rd world invasion, drug dealer scum and incompetent holiday makers.

Fuck off.

FYI - the US Coast Guard actually IS the US military. It's one of the branches of the military, equal to and on par with the Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines.

The main difference is that they operate under The Dept of Homeland Security rather than the Pentagon, and they aren't covered by something called The Posse Comitatus Act, which forbids the other branches of the military from being used for domestic purposes.

Granted there may very well be USCG members who served previously in one of the other branches, but if they are currently in the USCG, they cannot technically be "ex-military" because they are current military.

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Guest judgetwi
3 hours ago, DrCunt said:

Don't be coy, it's you, isn't it. Judy and his endless supply of gay chewing gum.

 

Sorry, I give up. How can I compete with this massive brain box? 

Did I mention that i’m fat, poor, homo and rip the place up on my mobility scooter?

Any other worn out old internet  stereotypes I can supply you with just let me know.

I wouldn’t want you to damage your little brain or anything.

 Boring fucking repetitive fucking wanker. 

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Guest judgetwi
32 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Honest question Judy. Did this statement come out how you intended?

Just asking.

Fuck off wanker.

Reported....... implied paedophilia.

Or at least it would be if I knew how to do it.

I won’t bother asking any cunt to help me out.

😰😰😥😥😪😩

The usual prejudice against Muslims. Die soon Infidel scum.

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7 hours ago, ratcum said:

You've no more been on a golfing holiday than I've shown Emily Maitlis my phimosis.

Ratty, have you any experience of stainless steel welding.  I am attempting to fashion a device to hang from the bath tray.  It is to support my wife's prolapsed uterus, whilst she bathes. We live in a hard water area, if this helps.

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12 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

On a recent golfing holiday I met a collection of these amateur wankers in the local pub celebrating the rescue of a pet dog.What a complete shambles of alcoholic layabouts posing in paramilitary uniforms as if they were the Special Boat Service.

Now these people are not paid and do their Thunderbirds on water bit in their free time.However the British public deserves better.In the USA such duties are covered by the U.S. Coastguard who are professionals, many of whom are ex-military.They are armed, protect the borders from migrant scum as well as providing a professional rescue service.

In the post Brexit world we require a similar if not better professionally competent set up.

I don’t want the crew of a foundering yacht to be subject to a pissed rabble of butcher,baker or candlestick maker.The R.N.L.I should be disbanded and made into a professional emergency service to protect us from 3rd world invasion, drug dealer scum and incompetent holiday makers.

Fuck off.

You wouldn't be saying this if you floated out too far from the gay beach at Brighton on your huge inflatable penis that's sprang a leak would you? 

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Guest Ollyboro
8 hours ago, judgetwi said:

The RNLI are a bunch of cunts. I used to be a big contributor until they ripped me off for £75 . 

Sorry Judy, but you misunderstanding their "Spend A Day On The Poop Deck With A Sailor" campaign, is hardly them ripping you off.

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12 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

Ratty, have you any experience of stainless steel welding.  I am attempting to fashion a device to hang from the bath tray.  It is to support my wife's prolapsed uterus, whilst she bathes. We live in a hard water area, if this helps.

Dear Scrotals

My Aunty Vi had a great cure for this problem. Choosing a cold winter's night, stick your naked wife outside the front door but with her prolapse popped through the letter box.  As her body contracts in the freezing temperatures, it will draw the rogue viscera back inside. Relaxing in the lounge, you will hear the letter box flap, tipping you off to the happy event.

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19 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Good grief......you’ve just made me throw away my saveloy. I can’t put it in my mouth after reading that.

Oi vei Herr Oberst! I know a Rabbi who can perform the brit milah for you. He’s very experienced and used to dealing with very small cocks, obviously. You should see what he can do with that scalpel, you should see it already.

I won’t tell him you are a fucking Nazi. Honest.

We’re old friends Herr Oberst. You know you can trust me.

yeah, like I'd trust a fox on his green meadow..

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Guest Ollyboro
13 hours ago, Glowworm said:

Ignore him, he is the sort of man who would carry more than fourteen clubs.

And carry a more than the average amount of diseases, I would wager.

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Guest Arthur Fuqs-Aches
On 05/07/2019 at 21:32, Earl of Punkape said:

On a recent golfing holiday I met a collection of these amateur wankers in the local pub celebrating the rescue of a pet dog.What a complete shambles of alcoholic layabouts posing in paramilitary uniforms as if they were the Special Boat Service.

Now these people are not paid and do their Thunderbirds on water bit in their free time.However the British public deserves better.In the USA such duties are covered by the U.S. Coastguard who are professionals, many of whom are ex-military.They are armed, protect the borders from migrant scum as well as providing a professional rescue service.

In the post Brexit world we require a similar if not better professionally competent set up.

I don’t want the crew of a foundering yacht to be subject to a pissed rabble of butcher,baker or candlestick maker.The R.N.L.I should be disbanded and made into a professional emergency service to protect us from 3rd world invasion, drug dealer scum and incompetent holiday makers.

Fuck off.

Well, amongst a myriad of do-gooding fuckers you raise a valid point. And the ball-in-a-rattle game I stumped up my pocket money for in 1983 on a school trip I shall now ask a refund for. What a bunch of leaching, subsidised arseholes they are. Pet dogs indeed. Throw the muts overboard from the glorified dinghy. Cuntitude and PC gone berserk. Needs clamping down on now.

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Guest judgetwi
22 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

Only coz you confused them with the BNP. 

I don’t think so Marjorie. That’s the sort of thing a child who spells “because” as “coz” would do because they think it’s trendy.

Another no bollocks cunt desperately looking around for approval.

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4 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

I don’t think so Marjorie. That’s the sort of thing a child who spells “because” as “coz” would do because they think it’s trendy.

Another no bollocks cunt desperately looking around for approval.

Listen up Jewdy. We're not all decrepit coffin dodgers that can fondly remember the 60's. I also don't own a mobility scooter or rely on Farm Foods delivering meals, that I then bore the Corner shitless, by substituting toad in the hole for imaginary shish kebabs. Get some new material.

Coz is also completely acceptable, you pedantic, fat fucking idiot.

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Guest judgetwi
14 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

Listen up Jewdy. We're not all decrepit coffin dodgers that can fondly remember the 60's. I also don't own a mobility scooter or rely on Farm Foods delivering meals, that I then bore the Corner shitless, by substituting toad in the hole for imaginary shish kebabs. Get some new material.

Coz is also completely acceptable, you pedantic, fat fucking idiot.

Oh fuck me Marjorie! Fat! Mobility scooter! Again!

You’ll have to do better than that little boy.

You’re not very bright are you?

That’s a rhetorical question by the way. Look it up dimmo.

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  • 10 months later...
10 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Are the Amateur RNLI off duty in Cornwall so people can drown or are they spending all their Furlough money getting more pissed than usual?

 

Unfortunately Covid is quite indiscriminate in how it culls the population therefore it is vitally important that other activities exist where the thick cunts can still wipe themselves out without fear of their genes contaminating the rest of society.

Following on from this the next shops that should open are knife shops so that all these so called gangs that have been squaring up on 'tinternet can indulge in a stabbing spree before the rest of us emerge from our partial-lockdown slumber - Knife shop profits are up, population of hard men (but only in a gang) are reduced - win, win!

Edited by Cunty BigBollox
breaking news
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