Neil Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 Mrs N slums it in this chavvy shithole and returns with a 9 pack of own brand bog roll,fuck me,I thought we'd evolved enough from wiping our arses with something akin to greaseproof paper.Im quite keen to look after my nipsy but this abomination spreads it around like peanut butter on glass.My back looked like as badger in negative by the time I'd finished.Starting school in the 60's harnessed millions of kids phobias about going to the loo leaving skid marks and scratches around the ring piece and this paper is the stuff of nightmares. Enjoy your breakfast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 Are you sure it's not spunk 'n your stools that's causing it to spread like peanut butter? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 That shiny, grease proof looking stuff they had at school was called 'IZAL' as far as I remember. "Wipe the smile off their faeces with Badgers Arse industrial toilet tissue! made from recycled emery cloth with added woodchips, glass fibre and swarf!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 4 hours ago, Neil said: Mrs N slums it in this chavvy shithole and returns with a 9 pack of own brand bog roll,fuck me,I thought we'd evolved enough from wiping our arses with something akin to greaseproof paper.Im quite keen to look after my nipsy but this abomination spreads it around like peanut butter on glass.My back looked like as badger in negative by the time I'd finished.Starting school in the 60's harnessed millions of kids phobias about going to the loo leaving skid marks and scratches around the ring piece and this paper is the stuff of nightmares. Enjoy your breakfast. For fuck sake I was gonna have nutella on ryveta for lunch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 14 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: For fuck sake I was gonna have nutella on ryveta for lunch Eeeurrrgh! How girlie. I hope the other gypsies don't know you eat this sort of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 I miss Drew Peacock sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 6 hours ago, Neil said: Mrs N slums it in this chavvy shithole and returns with a 9 pack of own brand bog roll,fuck me,I thought we'd evolved enough from wiping our arses with something akin to greaseproof paper.Im quite keen to look after my nipsy but this abomination spreads it around like peanut butter on glass.My back looked like as badger in negative by the time I'd finished.Starting school in the 60's harnessed millions of kids phobias about going to the loo leaving skid marks and scratches around the ring piece and this paper is the stuff of nightmares. Enjoy your breakfast. You married well didn’t you ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 29 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: You married well didn’t you ? He should try Tesco toilet paper that's what @Ape uses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: For fuck sake I was gonna have nutella on ryveta for lunch And then wipe your arse with a hedgehog? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 19 minutes ago, King Billy said: And then wipe your arse with a hedgehog? She saves the spiny skins and stitches them into a doormat. Good for scrubbing the mud off her stilettos after a day of hare coursing. And she's got nice legs from years of climbing down ladders carrying roofing lead. Might as well get all the gypsy stereotypes out of the way before Punky logs on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: She saves the spiny skins and stitches them into a doormat. Good for scrubbing the mud off her stilettos after a day of hare coursing. And she's got nice legs from years of climbing down ladders carrying roofing lead. Might as well get all the gypsy stereotypes out of the way before Punky logs on. I'm brain dead. I've had my cousins wife here today who's from australia, and have had to suffer her raised inflections all day. "Its a really nice daaaay"? "I'm going to Oxford Street on mondaaaaaaay"? "I'm changing my job"? Why do they fucking talk like this? Is it because of their convict past that they have to get permission or approval for everything they say? I'm emotionally fucking drained. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I'm brain dead. I've had my cousins wife here today who's from australia, and have had to suffer her raised inflections all day. "Its a really nice daaaay"? "I'm going to Oxford Street on mondaaaaaaay"? "I'm changing my job"? Why do they fucking talk like this? Is it because of their convict past that they have to get permission or approval for everything they say? I'm emotionally fucking drained. I agree. Fucking infuriating, twee, apologetic cunty way of speaking. I hate a New Zealand accent more though.. 'Ilvus Prissley'. Ffs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I agree. Fucking infuriating, twee, apologetic cunty way of speaking. I hate a New Zealand accent more though.. 'Ilvus Prissley'. Ffs. Sheepshagging, haka performing bastids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 1 hour ago, camberwell gypsy said: Why do they fucking talk like this? Is Cos they’re bloody Austraaaailian Sheila. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 22 minutes ago, King Billy said: Cos they’re bloody Austraaaailian Sheila. Remember 'the Paul Hogan show'? his 1980s Aussie Sketch show. Fucking brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Remember 'the Paul Hogan show'? his 1980s Aussie Sketch show. Fucking brilliant. Yeah I remember. He had a buddy called Strop, who wore a life guard hat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: She saves the spiny skins and stitches them into a doormat. Good for scrubbing the mud off her stilettos after a day of hare coursing. And she's got nice legs from years of climbing down ladders carrying roofing lead. Might as well get all the gypsy stereotypes out of the way before Punky logs on. Not forgetting conning OAP's outta there life savings for replacing a roof tile, leaving public parks full of human shit and selling lucky heather. Oh you bastard...I fucking hate pikeys! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 5 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: Not forgetting conning OAP's outta there life savings for replacing a roof tile, leaving public parks full of human shit and selling lucky heather. Oh you bastard...I fucking hate pikeys! I refute these allegations. I have never ever ever sold lucky heather. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 10 minutes ago, Major Cunt said: Not forgetting conning OAP's outta there life savings for replacing a roof tile, leaving public parks full of human shit and selling lucky heather. Oh you bastard...I fucking hate pikeys! Gorgeous George. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: I refute these allegations. I have never ever ever sold lucky heather. Seems they've moved onto more lucrative scams Gypers, not something I've seen for a while. My Mum used to say don't talk to em, they'll put a curse on ya. I think the cunts might have, if I'm honest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: Gorgeous George. Outta likes. Well spotted though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 20 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I refute these allegations. I have never ever ever sold lucky heather. When I hear the words ‘Lucky heather’, for some reason the words ‘Unlucky Paul’ are always my next thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 5 minutes ago, King Billy said: When I hear the words ‘Lucky heather’, for some reason the words ‘Unlucky Paul’ are always my next thought. Mine's 'Ronseal Woodstain' for some peculiar reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 3 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Mine's 'Ronseal Woodstain' for some peculiar reason. That jokes a bit limp, even wooden maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 24, 2019 Report Share Posted August 24, 2019 43 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Gorgeous George. Look what happened to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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