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Jiggerycock

Security Guards at Gigs

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Why are security guards at gigs such fucking pricks?

They've ruined two shows in the last fortnight. with  last night, this one guy - thinks he’s Sergeant Rock, giving it the old 'Thousand Yard Stare' like he’s a card carrying Marine veteran - getting right up in front of me and my buddy in a wheelchair making visibility of the band next to impossible.

Wouldn’t be talked into sitting down or moving a foot sideways or backwards, just in case the demographic of a  smalltime indie rock band crowd was packing Mace or a shooter or something.

Mate. Just cos you’ve got a lanyard with an ‘Access All Areas’ Pass and a big shiny yellow vest, doesn’t mean you’ve got a big shiny yellow cock.

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2 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Why are security guards at gigs such fucking pricks?

They've ruined two shows in the last fortnight. with  last night, this one guy - thinks he’s Sergeant Rock, giving it the old 'Thousand Yard Stare' like he’s a card carrying Marine veteran - getting right up in front of me and my buddy in a wheelchair making visibility of the band next to impossible.

Wouldn’t be talked into sitting down or moving a foot sideways or backwards, just in case the demographic of a  smalltime indie rock band crowd was packing Mace or a shooter or something.

Mate. Just cos you’ve got a lanyard with an ‘Access All Areas’ Pass and a big shiny yellow vest, doesn’t mean you’ve got a big shiny yellow cock.

This is all down to your own stupidity.  Taking Drew to any function is a no no.  

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5 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Why are security guards at gigs such fucking pricks?

They've ruined two shows in the last fortnight. with  last night, this one guy - thinks he’s Sergeant Rock, giving it the old 'Thousand Yard Stare' like he’s a card carrying Marine veteran - getting right up in front of me and my buddy in a wheelchair making visibility of the band next to impossible.

Wouldn’t be talked into sitting down or moving a foot sideways or backwards, just in case the demographic of a  smalltime indie rock band crowd was packing Mace or a shooter or something.

Mate. Just cos you’ve got a lanyard with an ‘Access All Areas’ Pass and a big shiny yellow vest, doesn’t mean you’ve got a big shiny yellow cock.

So how was The Sooty Show? Is Sweep still a cunt? 

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20 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Suddenly it all makes sense...

650544020b98632b8c4365d20d557d14.jpg

Security at gigs have been onto this scam for decades. One of them turns up in a wheelchair and they get ushered straight to the front.

It was popularised by Alf Garnett and Marigold at Upton Park.

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5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It was popularised by Alf Garnett and Marigold at Upton Park.

400full.jpg

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1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

400full.jpg

Ironic that the effeminate and entirely harmless Marigold, is known in the U.S primarily for portraying the hardest cunt locked up in 'Oz'. Now that was a fucking brutal TV show.

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17 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Security at gigs have been onto this scam for decades. One of them turns up in a wheelchair and they get ushered straight to the front.

It was popularised by Alf Garnett and Marigold at Upton Park.

I think even West ham would hav a bigger crowd than the one I was in on Saturday night.

Cunt still came on like it was Altamont in 1969.

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4 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

I think even West ham would hav a bigger crowd than the one I was in on Saturday night.

Cunt still came on like it was Altamont in 1969.

Who were you there to see?

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28 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Callow Saints

"The best band to come out of Aylesbury since The Skarabs".

 

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14 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Why are security guards at gigs such fucking pricks?

They've ruined two shows in the last fortnight. with  last night, this one guy - thinks he’s Sergeant Rock, giving it the old 'Thousand Yard Stare' like he’s a card carrying Marine veteran - getting right up in front of me and my buddy in a wheelchair making visibility of the band next to impossible.

Wouldn’t be talked into sitting down or moving a foot sideways or backwards, just in case the demographic of a  smalltime indie rock band crowd was packing Mace or a shooter or something.

Mate. Just cos you’ve got a lanyard with an ‘Access All Areas’ Pass and a big shiny yellow vest, doesn’t mean you’ve got a big shiny yellow cock.

Two possible answers to your question I believe.

(a) Most large gatherings of members of the public comprise of a very high number of attention seekers, druggies and piss heads.

(b) £8.21 an hour.

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10 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Two possible answers to your question I believe.

(a) Most large gatherings of members of the public comprise of a very high number of attention seekers, druggies and piss heads.

(b) £8.21 an hour.

I thank you - a very plausible explanation, with the thought:

c) Social inadequate, that even the Cunts Corner Admissions Panel (what do you mean there isn't one? You don't just rock up here and start cunting by accident you know!) would reject as being too much of an outlier on the spectrum

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23 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

I think even West ham would hav a bigger crowd than the one I was in on Saturday night.

Cunt still came on like it was Altamont in 1969.

So then why didn't you just move to another spot?

Sounds like there must've been plenty available.

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19 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

So then why didn't you just move to another spot?

Sounds like there must've been plenty available.

Were you a lawyer?

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24 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

So then why didn't you just move to another spot?

Sounds like there must've been plenty available.

Anybody in a wheelchair, at any venue, always have plenty of places to 'park'.  They all have that sweet, sickly smell about them, a mixture of WD40 and stale piss. 

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2 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

When exactly are you asking about?

At any time. Your point regarding 'if the place was empty, why not just stand where you want?', was very, cross examiner like

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1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

At any time. Your point regarding 'if the place was empty, why not just stand where you want?', was very, cross examiner like

Ironside was a self righteous, four wheeled faggot cunt. I'm glad he's dead. 

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5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

At any time. Your point regarding 'if the place was empty, why not just stand where you want?', was very, cross examiner like

I've done some legal work...

Kind of on an informal basis. 

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10 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Ironside was a self righteous, four wheeled faggot cunt. I'm glad he's dead. 

How that series managed to run for eight years I'll never understand.

I never felt that it had any legs.

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17 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Anybody in a wheelchair, at any venue, always have plenty of places to 'park'.  They all have that sweet, sickly smell about them, a mixture of WD40 and stale piss. 

And they're all racists. Both Ironside and Alf Garnett had black slaves to push them about. I don't like that one out of Silent Witness either.

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32 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

Ironside was a self righteous, four wheeled faggot cunt. I'm glad he's dead. 

Sadly he isn't Withers, he seems too post here quite regularly. You know who?

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