Cats Shitting In Gardens

[Wolfie]

There are few words to describe just how much these intensely annoying little fuckers get right on my tits.

Like thousands of others up and down the country, I'm a keen gardener who has to continually battle these selfish cunts who shit daily in my vegetable patches and raised beds. While I get on with my neighbour, who has three of them, things have gotten to the stage where I'm now throwing cat shit back over the garden fence. Yesterday Mrs Wolfie and I spent all day preparing our winter veg and mulch for the coming months, yet just this morning, the place looked like a war zone because the little shits decided to deposit their vile, disgusting, germ-spreading discharge among my chard and rhubarb. What's more concerning is when our little niece comes to stay during summer months, as a matter of being sensible, we have to locate the rancid cat shit before she might.

People who own cats obviously feed them roughly twice each day. Where does all the shit go, I wonder? It appears to be OK if it's not their garden. I've always been respectful of others' pets, in particular keeping a watchful eye on my dogs (one of whom 'likes' cats), but now I've decided to turn a blind eye if they come into contact with one another and nature takes its course. I've also been eyeing up my shovel near the garage door, which may be put to good use well before the rain and snow come about.

[Stubby Pecker]

19 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

There are few words to describe just how much these intensely annoying little fuckers get right on my tits.

Like thousands of others up and down the country, I'm a keen gardener who has to continually battle these selfish cunts who shit daily in my vegetable patches and raised beds. While I get on with my neighbour, who has three of them, things have gotten to the stage where I'm now throwing cat shit back over the garden fence. Yesterday Mrs Wolfie and I spent all day preparing our winter veg and mulch for the coming months, yet just this morning, the place looked like a war zone because the little shits decided to deposit their vile, disgusting, germ-spreading discharge among my chard and rhubarb. What's more concerning is when our little niece comes to stay during summer months, as a matter of being sensible, we have to locate the rancid cat shit before she might.

People who own cats obviously feed them roughly twice each day. Where does all the shit go, I wonder? It appears to be OK if it's not their garden. I've always been respectful of others' pets, in particular keeping a watchful eye on my dogs (one of whom 'likes' cats), but now I've decided to turn a blind eye if they come into contact with one another and nature takes its course. I've also been eyeing up my shovel near the garage door, which may be put to good use well before the rain and snow come about.

This turns my piss to napalm and there seems to be fuck all I can do about. Cat (and dog) ownership seems to have gone through the roof in recent years for some unfucking known reason and I'm in the same boot of having to defend our veg patch like fort bloody Knox to stop several cats using it as a shitter. Out of the 8 houses on our lane there are at least 5 or 6 cats and with young kids who we encourage to get out in our sizeable garden at every opportunity, I to have to do the rounds of the usual places to ensure the stubblets don't get the foul disease riddled filth all over them.

Recent figures of how many creatures are killed by cats in the UK estimate they catch up to 275 million prey items a year, of which 27 million are birds.

This is the number of prey items which were known to have been caught. We don't know how many more the cats caught, but didn't bring home, or how many escaped but subsequently died but this is obviously far higher and must be having terrible consequences for our beleaguered, cat snack sized wildlife.

Further education and shaming to cat owners is what required. It's not the cats fault as they're only doing what they're evolved brilliantly to do. I believe both New Zealand and Australia are in the process of outlawing cat ownership and eradicating them completely? 
 

[Eric Cuntman]

28 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

There are few words to describe just how much these intensely annoying little fuckers get right on my tits.

Like thousands of others up and down the country, I'm a keen gardener who has to continually battle these selfish cunts who shit daily in my vegetable patches and raised beds. While I get on with my neighbour, who has three of them, things have gotten to the stage where I'm now throwing cat shit back over the garden fence. Yesterday Mrs Wolfie and I spent all day preparing our winter veg and mulch for the coming months, yet just this morning, the place looked like a war zone because the little shits decided to deposit their vile, disgusting, germ-spreading discharge among my chard and rhubarb. What's more concerning is when our little niece comes to stay during summer months, as a matter of being sensible, we have to locate the rancid cat shit before she might.

People who own cats obviously feed them roughly twice each day. Where does all the shit go, I wonder? It appears to be OK if it's not their garden. I've always been respectful of others' pets, in particular keeping a watchful eye on my dogs (one of whom 'likes' cats), but now I've decided to turn a blind eye if they come into contact with one another and nature takes its course. I've also been eyeing up my shovel near the garage door, which may be put to good use well before the rain and snow come about.

There is a solution. And this isn't a wind-up. Most zoos with big cats in residence, collect up lion and tiger shit etc, put it in plastic tubs and sell it in the zoo shop. If you get a few lumps and bury them a couple of inches down in your garden, the local moggies will come into your garden, get one whiff of the Godzilla of their species, and scarper. It sounds silly, but apparently works very well.

[Stubby Pecker]

29 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Get on topic, or fuck off.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll

Worry not wolfie, I've reported the ball bag tucking freak of nature for blatantly at the first response, derailing this obvious nomination to "name the cunts of the world", something not a single one of it's daily scatter gun posts do.

At least 10 other punters have also filed reports to admin so I expect a lengthy ban, especially as a recent precedent has been set for cooler time to several other punters for far lesser crimes.

[Neil]

All animals are cunts that's why I eat as many as I can.We could help Korea in feeding millions of the cunts with the stinking,yappy cunts that we have over here.Over 100 tonnes of dog shit hit the capital's pavements every day and we are the ones accused of spoiling the planet. 

Fuck off

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

There are few words to describe just how much these intensely annoying little fuckers get right on my tits.

Like thousands of others up and down the country, I'm a keen gardener who has to continually battle these selfish cunts who shit daily in my vegetable patches and raised beds. While I get on with my neighbour, who has three of them, things have gotten to the stage where I'm now throwing cat shit back over the garden fence. Yesterday Mrs Wolfie and I spent all day preparing our winter veg and mulch for the coming months, yet just this morning, the place looked like a war zone because the little shits decided to deposit their vile, disgusting, germ-spreading discharge among my chard and rhubarb. What's more concerning is when our little niece comes to stay during summer months, as a matter of being sensible, we have to locate the rancid cat shit before she might.

People who own cats obviously feed them roughly twice each day. Where does all the shit go, I wonder? It appears to be OK if it's not their garden. I've always been respectful of others' pets, in particular keeping a watchful eye on my dogs (one of whom 'likes' cats), but now I've decided to turn a blind eye if they come into contact with one another and nature takes its course. I've also been eyeing up my shovel near the garage door, which may be put to good use well before the rain and snow come about.

Instead of bitching and moaning about innocent animals being what nature made them to be and threatening to engage in criminal animal abuse, start growing your sad, scrawny, anemic looking vegetables in individual flower pots so the cats can't climb in them, idiot. 

[Ape™️]

1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Worry not wolfie, I've reported the ball bag tucking freak of nature for blatantly at the first response, derailing this obvious nomination to "name the cunts of the world", something not a single one of it's daily scatter gun posts do.

At least 10 other punters have also filed reports to admin so I expect a lengthy ban, especially as a recent precedent has been set for cooler time to several other punters for far lesser crimes.

What did it post? 

[Eric Cuntman]

15 minutes ago, Ape said:

What did it post? 

Probably asked him his thoughts on Tunbridge Wells.

[Ape™️]

48 minutes ago, Salty Piss Flap said:

Instead of bitching and moaning about innocent animals being what nature made them to be and threatening to engage in criminal animal abuse, start growing your sad, scrawny, anemic looking vegetables in individual flower pots so the cats can't climb in them, idiot. 

Surely you should be glued to the TV, watching the impeachment inquiry hearing of your wanker president, you tiresome moron.

[Stubby Pecker]

49 minutes ago, Ape said:

What did it post? 

As if by magic "it's" post has disappeared- spooky or what?

It was the very first derailing reply, the usual nonsensical, unfunny shite we all hate and its free to post in almost infinite quantity, in clear breach of rule 10:

10. Give time to for nominations to be discussed. Posts which attempt immediately to derail a thread either by attacking the poster or the nomination will be removed.

I fully expect a weekend for it in the cooler to contemplate the pointless nature of its contributions here.

[Guest Salty Piss Flap]

21 minutes ago, Ape said:

Surely you should be glued to the TV, watching the impeachment inquiry hearing of your wanker president, you tiresome moron.

I had it on earlier while it was being broadcast.

I think they're in recess right now.

You wearisome halfwit.

[Cunty BigBollox]

My cat doesn't shit in the neighbours garden because I've taught him to shit on his car instead.

[Guest Erroreptile404]

Not another fucking wanker with a hatred of cats, by the way you're full of shit`*pardon the pun* cats cover their shit up so maybe start pointing the finger at aggressive,shit all over the street, dangerous, noisy, cunty fucking dogs and their stupid fucking owners instead.

[Ape™️]

Just now, Erroreptile404 said:

Not another fucking wanker with a hatred of cats, by the way you're full of shit`*pardon the pun* cats cover their shit up so maybe start pointing the finger at aggressive,shit all over the street, dangerous, noisy, cunty fucking dogs and their owners instead.

Do you collect cat shit too? Does it being buried make it more exciting for you, like a treasure hunt?

[Guest Erroreptile404]

2 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I believe both New Zealand and Australia are in the process of outlawing cat ownership and eradicating them completely? 

That's because australia and new zealand are inbred, parochial fucking idiots who don't see the irony about whining about "things that aren't native" to australia and new zealand.

[Stubby Pecker]

5 minutes ago, Erroreptile404 said:

That's because australia and new zealand are inbred, parochial fucking idiots who don't see the irony about whining about "things that aren't native" to australia and new zealand.

You really are quite the cretin arent you and beyond basic education and the ability to communicate with others without making yourself look like a thick cunt?

Actually the two countries in question are progressive and streets ahead of most when it comes to conservation and sustainability. Google these big words it it helps as I'm through trying to learn up to mong like you. 

I'm guessing if they made a computer game which incorporated the collecting of animal shit, you'd spunk your load and wouldn't see daylight for weeks, possibly developing tertiary rickets in the process  

lol

fuck off

[Guest Erroreptile404]

1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said:

You really are quite the cretin arent you and beyond basic education and the ability to communicate with others without making yourself look like a thick cunt?

Actually the two countries in question are progressive and streets ahead of most when it comes to conservation and sustainability. Google these big words it it helps as I'm through trying to learn up to mong like you. 

I'm guessing if they made a computer game which incorporated the collecting of animal shit, you'd spunk your load and wouldn't see daylight for weeks, possibly developing tertiary rickets in the process  

lol

fuck off

Kill yourself, i'm not interested in a pair of backwaters full of inbreds with a chip on their shoulders against cats. Also whatever shithole part of the country you live in doesn't speak for the rest of it mongo.

[Stubby Pecker]

Just now, Erroreptile404 said:

Kill yourself, i'm not interested in a pair of backwaters full of inbreds with a chip on their shoulders against cats. Also whatever shithole part of the country you live in doesn't speak for the rest of it mongo.

Yet again, the gift that keeps giving.

It's fair to say every punter here can see you've very little intelligence and can't stop yourself coming across as someone with a mental retardation. I can just see you now getting redder and redder and frothing at the mouth, but be careful-for a house bound gamer like you, this could lead to heart attack or a stroke. Fingers crossed.

[Guest Erroreptile404]

4 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

t's fair to say every punter here can see you've very little intelligence and can't stop yourself coming across as someone with a mental retardation.

Whereas you genuinely are a retard with little intelligence, doesn't even know the difference between 'coma' and comma. 

[Stubby Pecker]

1 minute ago, Erroreptile404 said:

Whereas you genuinely are a retard with little intelligence, doesn't even know the difference between 'coma' and comma. 

Calm down you child. Go and have wank over your special website that Pete has added you to.

 

[Frank]

19 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Yet again, the gift that keeps giving.

It's fair to say every punter here can see you've very little intelligence and can't stop yourself coming across as someone with a mental retardation. I can just see you now getting redder and redder and frothing at the mouth, but be careful-for a house bound gamer like you, this could lead to heart attack or a stroke. Fingers crossed.

Give it a rest stubby you dopey fuck. If I do ever find you, you’ll know all about it. 

[Major Cunt]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

There is a solution. And this isn't a wind-up. Most zoos with big cats in residence, collect up lion and tiger shit etc, put it in plastic tubs and sell it in the zoo shop. If you get a few lumps and bury them a couple of inches down in your garden, the local moggies will come into your garden, get one whiff of the Godzilla of their species, and scarper. It sounds silly, but apparently works very well.

I found a solution 10 year's ago in my sadly now deceased rottweiler. No fucking moggy was safe to take a dump in the garden of chez Major while he was on stag. When one was occasionally brave enough to venture onto our turf for a crafty pony, I'd be alerted by a bark as deep as a sub-woofer, and a cat getting on its paws rather sharpish.

It's a breed of dog which sadly receives a lot of bad press due to them falling into the hands of fucking idiots who are incapable of training such an animal or mistreat them.

I agreed 100% with Stubbs on the menace to our feathered friends from the cat, and obviously there just doing what felines do. It's the fucking cunts who have 3 cats to a fucking house that pissed me right off.

[Guest Erroreptile404]

It seems if scummy people are letting their piece of shit dogs attack people's cats for no other reason other than the fact you hate cats because you're a knuckle dragging cunt, then it's fair game if i blast your aggressive, smelly bag of shit dog in the face with a gas powered airsoft pistol loaded with ball bearings no?

[Penny Farthing]

3 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

This turns my piss to napalm and there seems to be fuck all I can do about. Cat (and dog) ownership seems to have gone through the roof in recent years for some unfucking known reason and I'm in the same boot of having to defend our veg patch like fort bloody Knox to stop several cats using it as a shitter. Out of the 8 houses on our lane there are at least 5 or 6 cats and with young kids who we encourage to get out in our sizeable garden at every opportunity, I to have to do the rounds of the usual places to ensure the stubblets don't get the foul disease riddled filth all over them.

Recent figures of how many creatures are killed by cats in the UK estimate they catch up to 275 million prey items a year, of which 27 million are birds.

This is the number of prey items which were known to have been caught. We don't know how many more the cats caught, but didn't bring home, or how many escaped but subsequently died but this is obviously far higher and must be having terrible consequences for our beleaguered, cat snack sized wildlife.

Further education and shaming to cat owners is what required. It's not the cats fault as they're only doing what they're evolved brilliantly to do. I believe both New Zealand and Australia are in the process of outlawing cat ownership and eradicating them completely? 
 

Stubby as on should know all sorts of animals shit in gardens. Everything from Badgers to Robi s.

[Ape™️]

36 minutes ago, Erroreptile404 said:

It seems if scummy people are letting their piece of shit dogs attack people's cats for no other reason other than the fact you hate cats because you're a knuckle dragging cunt, then it's fair game if i blast your aggressive, smelly bag of shit dog in the face with a gas powered airsoft pistol loaded with ball bearings no?

Jesus wept, a keyboard gun slinger. What a bullshit wanker you are.