Changing Mobile Phone Provider

[Jiggerycock]

I believe it would be easier to get off crack cocaine.

At the risk of this being a Pen-alike 'one-line-and-fill-in-the-gaps-youselves' nom, at some point it's become a blur of PAC-codes, NUC-codes, 'SIM only deal is it sir' 'What model is your phone?' 30 minute wait whilst some Bombay minumum wager finishes his chapati and gets back to me from the call centre , endless trips to the Vodafone shop - who can only sell me stuff I don't need, 'you need to go online for that sir - oooops your phone is now locked sir, you need an unlock code for that now sir? stressy paternoster of, by rote, stupidity, blocking tactics, downright rudeness, incompetence, black ops psychic warfare and having your life-force extracted from you via your wallet.

If this is all too difficult to comprehend, that's the reaction I was hoping to achieve.

If you feel you have wasted your life in some small way reading this, my work here is done.

If you feel vaguely homicida.......l then 'you and me both bruv / sistah'......you and me both.

[Roadkill]

You do know you can still just buy sim cards from the shop, any provider worth the time, usually £1 with a pay-as-you-go payment plan (probably set up to take the cash instantly and give you an unlimited amount of calls and text, and some limited internet data until the end of the month)?

All you need to provide after that is a simless phone. Unless you're one of them divs that get sucked into contracts "because its more convenient" and end up paying three times the value of the phone two years after its already knackered.

 

 

Edited December 28, 2019 by Roadkill

[Jiggerycock]

Legacy issue I'm afraid and without going into details, I've been stitched up like a kipper by our (obviously former) procurement bitch, with, yes okay you simpering telecoms cunt, a contract that I am trying to extricate myself from.

Ever tried shoving a turd back up your arse with a spatula?

I wish that on you, because that's just the sort of prick I can be sometimes but more importantly, it would give you a physical manifestation of the emotional hell I'm currently going through thanks to Vodacunts

[Cunty BigBollox]

1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said:

Legacy issue I'm afraid and without going into details, I've been stitched up like a kipper by our (obviously former) procurement bitch, with, yes okay you simpering telecoms cunt, a contract that I am trying to extricate myself from.

Ever tried shoving a turd back up your arse with a spatula?

I wish that on you, because that's just the sort of prick I can be sometimes but more importantly, it would give you a physical manifestation of the emotional hell I'm currently going through thanks to Vodacunts

I bet you've got an endownment mortgage too. A fool and his money.......

[Penny Farthing]

2 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

Legacy issue I'm afraid and without going into details, I've been stitched up like a kipper by our (obviously former) procurement bitch, with, yes okay you simpering telecoms cunt, a contract that I am trying to extricate myself from.

Ever tried shoving a turd back up your arse with a spatula?

I wish that on you, because that's just the sort of prick I can be sometimes but more importantly, it would give you a physical manifestation of the emotional hell I'm currently going through thanks to Vodacunts

Mine is £15 a month pay as you go 5 gig of data unlimited texts and call what more do you need?

[camberwell gypsy]

On 28/12/2019 at 21:38, Dawn Chorus said:

Mine is £15 a month pay as you go 5 gig of data unlimited texts and call what more do you need?

Yeah but does yours go "nip nip. Nip nip" when you press a button? Mine does.*

*Sorry. I'm drunk and just being fucking silly. 

[Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)]

7 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Yeah but does yours go "nip nip. Nip nip" when you press a button? Mine does.*

*Sorry. I'm drunk and just being fucking silly. 

Malbec?

[Penny Farthing]

7 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Yeah but does yours go "nip nip. Nip nip" when you press a button? Mine does.*

*Sorry. I'm drunk and just being fucking silly. 

Anyone who has their phone set so that it make those clicking or bleeping noise as they type out their messages should be executed. Few things are more irritating than being forced to listen to these key clicks.

[Jiggerycock]

4 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Anyone who has their phone set so that it make those clicking or bleeping noise as they type out their messages should be executed. Few things are more irritating than being forced to listen to these key clicks.

 

12 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Yeah but does yours go "nip nip. Nip nip" when you press a button? Mine does.*

*Sorry. I'm drunk and just being fucking silly. 

Maybe  Gyppo just likes her phone to provide anti-Japanese racism on a regular basis - who knows?

[camberwell gypsy]

6 hours ago, Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) said:

Malbec?

Probably 

[camberwell gypsy]

5 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Anyone who has their phone set so that it make those clicking or bleeping noise as they type out their messages should be executed. Few things are more irritating than being forced to listen to these key clicks.

Oooooh! Get you! Yo is getting mean, sister.  Shiiiiit. 

[Roadkill]

On 28/12/2019 at 18:39, Jiggerycock said:

Legacy issue I'm afraid and without going into details, I've been stitched up like a kipper by our (obviously former) procurement bitch, with, yes okay you simpering telecoms cunt, a contract that I am trying to extricate myself from.

Ever tried shoving a turd back up your arse with a spatula?

I wish that on you, because that's just the sort of prick I can be sometimes but more importantly, it would give you a physical manifestation of the emotional hell I'm currently going through thanks to Vodacunts

See this is why I bite any cunt, family or otherwise, who is dense enough to think signing myself into a contract for anything I can legally own without one is a good idea. That shit will always inevitably be used to force more money out of you at some point and you can guarantee there'll be a fancy worded clause along the lines of "I accept that this contract can be changed in any way, shape and form at any point in time by the contract holder and that they have every right to mentally traumatise me up to and past the point where the only way to describe my emotional state is shoving shit back up my own arse with a spatula" in there somewhere. 

Contracts are never for the customer's benefit. 

[Jiggerycock]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

See this is why I bite any cunt, family or otherwise, who is dense enough to think signing myself into a contract for anything I can legally own without one is a good idea. That shit will always inevitably be used to force more money out of you at some point and you can guarantee there'll be a fancy worded clause along the lines of "I accept that this contract can be changed in any way, shape and form at any point in time by the contract holder and that they have every right to mentally traumatise me up to and past the point where the only way to describe my emotional state is shoving shit back up my own arse with a spatula" in there somewhere. 

Contracts are never for the customer's benefit. 

....thus my highlighting (though clearly not in retina-burning strength enough) it being a legacy issue, not of my making, with which I am trying to deal. Heartfelt thanks for the steer on the 'Pay As You Go' option

As I've put on another thread, these little cameos I'm giving the CC congregation, into my life may add spice and flavour to their humdrum existences but I am geninely concerned that any more 'reveals' of this nature would mean the Russians and the Illuminati lizards would be able to narrow their precision guided bombs down to + or- 20 miles of my residence - and whilst I'm the 'Ace of Spades' on their most wanted list, it's the collateral damage to the rest of the civilians that troubles me, big-hearted Christian that I am.

[Penny Farthing]

On 30/12/2019 at 07:28, Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) said:

Malbec?

MALBEC sounds like the sort of last word that the pissed up pilot of an airliner would radio before crashing his airliner into a mountain..

[King Billy]

20 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Contracts are never for the customer's benefit

Very true RK. Or, as Don Corleone famously said “Ill make him an offer he can’t refuse”

[Roadkill]

20 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

....thus my highlighting (though clearly not in retina-burning strength enough) it being a legacy issue, not of my making, with which I am trying to deal. Heartfelt thanks for the steer on the 'Pay As You Go' option

As I've put on another thread, these little cameos I'm giving the CC congregation, into my life may add spice and flavour to their humdrum existences but I am geninely concerned that any more 'reveals' of this nature would mean the Russians and the Illuminati lizards would be able to narrow their precision guided bombs down to + or- 20 miles of my residence - and whilst I'm the 'Ace of Spades' on their most wanted list, it's the collateral damage to the rest of the civilians that troubles me, big-hearted Christian that I am.

Please. @Cuntybaws has already sold every member's personal information to the highest bidder a hundred times over. Since I joined I've become a member of twelve different bible clubs, an Al Qaeda commander and had five different life insurance policies started in my name. The cunt is clearly trying to manufacture a coincidental arrival of my monthly five hundred Old Testament reprints at the exact moment Akhmed and the lads are over for their monthly standing orders and hashish binge to cash in on.  

[Jiggerycock]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

Please. @Cuntybaws has already sold every member's personal information to the highest bidder a hundred times over. Since I joined I've become a member of twelve different bible clubs, an Al Qaeda commander and had five different life insurance policies started in my name. The cunt is clearly trying to manufacture a coincidental arrival of my monthly five hundred Old Testament reprints at the exact moment Akhmed and the lads are over for their monthly standing orders and hashish binge to cash in on.  

You're lucky

All I got was a place on the sex offenders register - and it's STILL easier to get off (hur-hur) that than change mobile phone providers!

[Eric Cuntman]

12 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

You're lucky

All I got was a place on the sex offenders register - and it's STILL easier to get off (hur-hur) that than change mobile phone providers!

Try getting Readers Digest off your back.

Easy life cunt.

[Cuntybaws]

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

@Cuntybaws has already sold every member's personal information to the highest bidder a hundred times over. Since I joined I've become a member of twelve different bible clubs, an Al Qaeda commander and had five different life insurance policies started in my name. The cunt is clearly trying to manufacture a coincidental arrival of my monthly five hundred Old Testament reprints at the exact moment Akhmed and the lads are over for their monthly standing orders and hashish binge to cash in on.  

It's just lucky I like you, Killer!

14 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

All I got was a place on the sex offenders register - and it's STILL easier to get off (hur-hur) that than change mobile phone providers!

Any more complaining and you're going on the Jehovah's Witness secret "Ripe for Fellowship" list. There's more chance of getting off heroin than off of that.

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, Cuntybaws said:

It's just lucky I like you, Killer!

Any more complaining and you're going on the Jehovah's Witness secret "Ripe for Fellowship" list. There's more chance of getting off heroin than off of that.

I now have more than 400 country and western CDs which have been arriving every day now for 8 months. I never realised what a big  C&W fan I was until they started dropping through the letterbox. Unfortunately I’ve had to sell the missus’s car to pay for them.