Guest Barneycunt Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 Has anyone shat their knickers going to work? I did a few weeks ago. So fucking shocked, stunned and in a state of panic, i fled in terror to a bush and had to throw away the embarrassing evidence and clean up the best i could with the remaining leaves and thankfully someones litter. I was lucky my trousers were not affected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 No. But I was masturbating in some bushes recently, when a pair of Sainsbury's cockless y-fronts, heavily filled with semi-digested kebab meat and sweetcorn, landed on my sweaty head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 4 hours ago, Barneycunt said: Has anyone shat their knickers going to work? I did a few weeks ago. So fucking shocked, stunned and in a state of panic, i fled in terror to a bush and had to throw away the embarrassing evidence and clean up the best i could with the remaining leaves and thankfully someones litter. I was lucky my trousers were not affected. You disgusting cunt! Ever wondered why you're single? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barneycunt Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 What would you have done under the circumstances Joker? walk around stinking of shit? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 1 minute ago, Barneycunt said: What would you have done under the circumstances Joker? walk around stinking of shit? lol Just say a 'big boy' did it and ran away! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barneycunt Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 lol ohhh dear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Cunt Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 5 hours ago, Ollyboro said: No. But I was masturbating in some bushes recently, when a pair of Sainsbury's cockless y-fronts, heavily filled with semi-digested kebab meat and sweetcorn, landed on my sweaty head. That story made the 'South London Press,' Olly. The Charlton B Mob had chased the Middlesbrough hooligan contingent into a local park. Where upon a mobility scooter glided by and a portly chap launched a pair of soiled undercrackers. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted December 30, 2019 Report Share Posted December 30, 2019 This thread will be deleted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted December 31, 2019 Report Share Posted December 31, 2019 The trouble with shitting yourself in public is that it’s rarely a nice little log that you can wriggle down your trouser leg and just leave somewhere and nobody knows that you were the dirty cunt. No, it’s always an explosive, runny mess, usually preceded by copious amounts of alcohol and the sudden onset of stomach cramps. You look around, in panic, for somewhere to dump your load but it just isn’t there. My only recommendation is to drop your strides in the street, let the good times roll and shout “booshka booshka, no speak Ingleesh, kurva kurva!” It seems to work round my way, anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted December 31, 2019 Report Share Posted December 31, 2019 1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said: This thread will be deleted. With any luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 31, 2019 Report Share Posted December 31, 2019 10 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said: This thread will be deleted. Au contraire mon ami. This thread has the makings of a classic. As you must be well aware, nothing on the planet is funnier than someone succumbing to an involuntary blowback in their undies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted December 31, 2019 Report Share Posted December 31, 2019 Having a somewhat irritable bowel I often have to pull up roadside and shit in a bag, I carry around spare kecks and shit tickets in the boot for such occasions.Sometimes the back of my van stinks like a Mumbai shithouse.Happy new year Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted December 31, 2019 Report Share Posted December 31, 2019 17 minutes ago, Neil said: Having a somewhat irritable bowel I often have to pull up roadside and shit in a bag, I carry around spare kecks and shit tickets in the boot for such occasions.Sometimes the back of my van stinks like a Mumbai shithouse.Happy new year Normally that would deter most young ladies from getting into the back of your van Neil. Luckily, (for you, not them), by the time the stench hits them the doors are already locked and the cable ties applied. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted December 31, 2019 Report Share Posted December 31, 2019 On 30/12/2019 at 12:41, Barneycunt said: Has anyone shat their knickers going to work? I did a few weeks ago. So fucking shocked, stunned and in a state of panic, i fled in terror to a bush and had to throw away the embarrassing evidence and clean up the best i could with the remaining leaves and thankfully someones litter. I was lucky my trousers were not affected. If your job is Ann Widdecombes' gynaecologist then I can completely understand this happening, if not, then i suggest you have a word with your mum and tell her you're not quite ready to move on from training pants. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted December 31, 2019 Report Share Posted December 31, 2019 On 30/12/2019 at 12:52, Ollyboro said: No. But I was masturbating in some bushes recently, when a pair of Sainsbury's cockless y-fronts, heavily filled with semi-digested kebab meat and sweetcorn, landed on my sweaty head. I bet you immediately shot your load after that happened. Filthy beast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted December 31, 2019 Report Share Posted December 31, 2019 On 30/12/2019 at 12:41, Barneycunt said: Has anyone shat their knickers going to work? I did a few weeks ago. So fucking shocked, stunned and in a state of panic, i fled in terror to a bush and had to throw away the embarrassing evidence and clean up the best i could with the remaining leaves and thankfully someones litter. I was lucky my trousers were not affected. Have you met Ape? I refer you to “Not having a shit before going for a run”. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.