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Dried Pasta Packaging


Ape™️

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I like pasta and buy the decent quality dried varieties, as I find them better than fresh. The ape family particularly like penne. However, I have yet to open a packet of said pasta without the fucking bag splitting or tearing, as all the manufacturers appear to use some super-brittle shit that tears more easily than fucking rice paper. I’ve tried a variety of techniques to open the cunting packaging, but the result is the same. These packets optimistically offer a self adhesive resealing tab, but since the bag is inevitably in tatters after opening, it’s all a bit fucking pointless.

Fuck off.

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9 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

I like pasta and buy the decent quality dried varieties, as I find them better than fresh. The ape family particularly like penne. However, I have yet to open a packet of said pasta without the fucking bag splitting or tearing, as all the manufacturers appear to use some super-brittle shit that tears more easily than fucking rice paper. I’ve tried a variety of techniques to open the cunting packaging, but the result is the same. These packets optimistically offer a self adhesive resealing tab, but since the bag is inevitably in tatters after opening, it’s all a bit fucking pointless.

Fuck off.

Have you tried alphabet spaghetti Ape? The packets made of some sort of metal shit.

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25 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

I like pasta and buy the decent quality dried varieties, as I find them better than fresh. The ape family particularly like penne. However, I have yet to open a packet of said pasta without the fucking bag splitting or tearing, as all the manufacturers appear to use some super-brittle shit that tears more easily than fucking rice paper. I’ve tried a variety of techniques to open the cunting packaging, but the result is the same. These packets optimistically offer a self adhesive resealing tab, but since the bag is inevitably in tatters after opening, it’s all a bit fucking pointless.

Fuck off.

Get some proper pasta containers. Get a pair of scissors and cut the corner of the packet, watch most of the penne pasta explode in all directions and then spend the next 20 minutes picking the fuckers up. Put them all in the bin. Open up a tin of Tesco spaghetti oops. 

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26 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

I like pasta and buy the decent quality dried varieties, as I find them better than fresh. The ape family particularly like penne. However, I have yet to open a packet of said pasta without the fucking bag splitting or tearing, as all the manufacturers appear to use some super-brittle shit that tears more easily than fucking rice paper. I’ve tried a variety of techniques to open the cunting packaging, but the result is the same. These packets optimistically offer a self adhesive resealing tab, but since the bag is inevitably in tatters after opening, it’s all a bit fucking pointless.

Fuck off.

I absolutely detest the fact that this is acceptable. It also applies to the shit that bakeries pack cakes and rolls, even loaves in. 

And, what is the one thing you need to remove a new Stanley knife from it's blister pack ???...

 

 

A FUCKING STANLEY KNIFE!

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4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I absolutely detest the fact that this is acceptable. It also applies to the shit that bakeries pack cakes and rolls, even loaves in. 

And, what is the one thing you need to remove a new Stanley knife from it's blister pack ???...

 

 

A FUCKING STANLEY KNIFE!

It’s one of those chicken and egg things Eric. What came first. The Stanley knife or the blister pack? It was shit like that which kept Einstein and Hawking up every night. The only person who’s capable of solving that shit is Roops and she’s far too humble to show off, as everyone knows.

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Oh! It's a word association.

Cunt who crashes balloons 

And allegedly doesn't do employee pensions properly.

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On 03/01/2020 at 19:52, Ape™️ said:

I like pasta and buy the decent quality dried varieties, as I find them better than fresh. The ape family particularly like penne. However, I have yet to open a packet of said pasta without the fucking bag splitting or tearing, as all the manufacturers appear to use some super-brittle shit that tears more easily than fucking rice paper. I’ve tried a variety of techniques to open the cunting packaging, but the result is the same. These packets optimistically offer a self adhesive resealing tab, but since the bag is inevitably in tatters after opening, it’s all a bit fucking pointless.

Fuck off.

First world problems ape. This is the same shit as rice packets- goes fucking everywhere and the cunting tape never sticks. I now put them in tupperware or similar to save me shouting "fucking cunt!" when I'm making the kids tea. 

Do the same, you daft twat- no offence 

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3 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

First world problems ape. This is the same shit as rice packets- goes fucking everywhere and the cunting tape never sticks. I now put them in tupperware or similar to save me shouting "fucking cunt!" when I'm making the kids tea. 

Do the same, you daft twat- no offence 

None taken, you dopey fucker.

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30 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Actually the worse is flour and cornflour packets. They are the genuine fucking blitzkrieg of food packs. When one of these things split  your world evaporates in an explosion of white. I once looked like the ghost of christmas future after one incident. 

 

 

Three rather uneducated looking characters were recently ejected from my local Morrisons for having a punch up over an organic ‘Roast in the bag’ hedgehog. I’ve no idea what nationality they were as they were shouting at each other in some sort of ‘pidgin’ English. Also there were dozens of children with them who were filling their pockets during the incident. They left in a couple of Transit vans towing caravans. Perhaps they were from Eastern Europe, here for a camping holiday.

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1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Three rather uneducated looking characters were recently ejected from my local Morrisons for having a punch up over an organic ‘Roast in the bag’ hedgehog. I’ve no idea what nationality they were as they were shouting at each other in some sort of ‘pidgin’ English. Also there were dozens of children with them who were filling their pockets during the incident. They left in a couple of Transit vans towing caravans. Perhaps they were from Eastern Europe, here for a camping holiday.

Ah the old "start a fight" diversion. Two women start a fight and when security and staff get sucked in, other members of the tribe fill their bags. 

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Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt)
26 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Ah the old "start a fight" diversion. Two women start a fight and when security and staff get sucked in, other members of the tribe fill their bags. 

You seem to know all about it.

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