Stubby Pecker Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 In this age of general poofery, limp wristedness and political correctness it seems every other big manly man needs to start blubbing at the drop of a hat. Granted, it you've just come home to find your wife, kids and dog burnt to a crisp in an horrific and 100% preventable house fire, then you can shed a tear or two (turning to tears of joy when you see your shed and 30 year collection of Razzle is untouched). Mrs Pecker, the stupid cunt, was watching that shite program with Phil and Kristy (who I both want dead) and there were fucking tears everywhere regarding buying a cunting house FFS. Most telly programs aimed at the unwashed masses contain some sort of emotional bullshit designed to turn the entire male population into metrosexual wimps who would rather sit around in the focus group talking about their feeling than be out cutting down a tree with an axe then off to the pub to get shit faced and goose the barmaid. That said, tears were steaming down my face yesterday when I heard 50 plus Iranians had been crushed to death at the terrorist cunts funeral. Tears of laughter. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 3 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: That said, tears were steaming down my face yesterday when I heard 50 plus Iranians had been crushed to death at the terrorist cunts funeral. Tears of laughter. So, crying men are cunts. Okay then, You cunt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 56 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: In this age of general poofery, limp wristedness and political correctness it seems every other big manly man needs to start blubbing at the drop of a hat. Granted, it you've just come home to find your wife, kids and dog burnt to a crisp in an horrific and 100% preventable house fire, then you can shed a tear or two (turning to tears of joy when you see your shed and 30 year collection of Razzle is untouched). Mrs Pecker, the stupid cunt, was watching that shite program with Phil and Kristy (who I both want dead) and there were fucking tears everywhere regarding buying a cunting house FFS. Most telly programs aimed at the unwashed masses contain some sort of emotional bullshit designed to turn the entire male population into metrosexual wimps who would rather sit around in the focus group talking about their feeling than be out cutting down a tree with an axe then off to the pub to get shit faced and goose the barmaid. That said, tears were steaming down my face yesterday when I heard 50 plus Iranians had been crushed to death at the terrorist cunts funeral. Tears of laughter. I was very upset and almost cried after all my family got burned. The most tears were shed when I received the bill at the crematorium. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 I've only cried twice in my life. The moment I was born, and the 19th of October 1993 when Norwich beat Bayern Munich in the UEFA cup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 47 minutes ago, Decimus said: I've only cried twice in my life. The moment I was born, and the 19th of October 1993 when Norwich beat Bayern Munich in the UEFA cup. Was that because Jeremy Goss hoofed Ruel Foxes cross in the 52nd minute into your nutsack? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 Hugging too. Since when did that move from a tacit admission of homosexuality to socially acceptable (indeed welcomed and necessary) bloke behaviour? If you are introduced to another bloke in the pub, then prepare to be hugged and then having him bawling like the baby Jesus over some tricksy / cute thing his dog did that morning, within 5 minutes of meeting. ....unless you're Ben Stokes and it's at a Bristol nightclub Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 9, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 1 hour ago, Jiggerycock said: Hugging too. Since when did that move from a tacit admission of homosexuality to socially acceptable (indeed welcomed and necessary) bloke behaviour? If you are introduced to another bloke in the pub, then prepare to be hugged and then having him bawling like the baby Jesus over some tricksy / cute thing his dog did that morning, within 5 minutes of meeting. ....unless you're Ben Stokes and it's at a Bristol nightclub Sir Ben Stokes don't you mean? Gave the safas what for in Cape Town, best moment when the meek Buttler was caught on stump mic calling big Vern a "fucking knob head" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 9, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 3 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said: So, crying men are cunts. Okay then, You cunt! I'd imagine you to be a happy drunk not a crying one drew, unless it's a Sunday morning and you can't get into Adli before 10 for 24 cans of cyder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said: I'd imagine you to be a happy drunk not a crying one drew, unless it's a Sunday morning and you can't get into Adli before 10 for 24 cans of cyder 'Cyder"? Sorry have we slipped back to the 16th century? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 16 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: 'Cyder"? Sorry have we slipped back to the 16th century? Have you done the "Coq in Cyder" joke yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 8 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Have you done the "Coq in Cyder" joke yet? I'll leave that one to you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted January 9, 2020 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 36 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: 'Cyder"? Sorry have we slipped back to the 16th century? Im in Gloucestershire where most of the cunts have only just come down from the trees and evolved to not eat their own shit 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 9, 2020 Report Share Posted January 9, 2020 21 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Im in Gloucestershire where most of the cunts have only just come down from the trees and evolved to not eat their own shit Yeah, I saw a few at the rugby a few weeks ago. It was like being at a Long John Silver appreciation society meeting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 8 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: In this age of general poofery, limp wristedness and political correctness it seems every other big manly man needs to start blubbing at the drop of a hat. Granted, it you've just come home to find your wife, kids and dog burnt to a crisp in an horrific and 100% preventable house fire, then you can shed a tear or two (turning to tears of joy when you see your shed and 30 year collection of Razzle is untouched). Mrs Pecker, the stupid cunt, was watching that shite program with Phil and Kristy (who I both want dead) and there were fucking tears everywhere regarding buying a cunting house FFS. Most telly programs aimed at the unwashed masses contain some sort of emotional bullshit designed to turn the entire male population into metrosexual wimps who would rather sit around in the focus group talking about their feeling than be out cutting down a tree with an axe then off to the pub to get shit faced and goose the barmaid. That said, tears were steaming down my face yesterday when I heard 50 plus Iranians had been crushed to death at the terrorist cunts funeral. Tears of laughter. Is having your house, contents and entire family burnt to a crisp as bad as pranging your motor? I might cry a little sob if I scuffed the bumper. Kids can go up in flames as far as I care. Silly cunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 19 hours ago, Decimus said: I've only cried twice in my life. The moment I was born, and the 19th of October 1993 when Norwich beat Bayern Munich in the UEFA cup. Saturdays boys live life with insults, Drink lots of beer and wait for half time results… Saturdays kids play one arm bandits, They never win but that’s not the point is it? Dip in silver paper when their pints go flat, How about that - far out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 29 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: Saturdays boys live life with insults, Drink lots of beer and wait for half time results… Saturdays kids play one arm bandits, They never win but that’s not the point is it? Dip in silver paper when their pints go flat, How about that - far out! Bruce Foxton can kiss my ring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 4 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Bruce Foxton can kiss my ring. Did you ever see him during his stint with Stiff Little Fingers? I want their version of "Smithers-Jones" played at Frank's funeral. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barneycunt Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 5 hours ago, Last Cunt Standing said: Bruce Foxton can kiss my ring. What a bass player though. He may just kiss your cheesy ring and play the bass at the same time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 5 minutes ago, Barneycunt said: What a bass player though. He may just kiss your cheesy ring and play the bass at the same time I’m a massive Jam fan - grew up in Woking and used to go to band practice (I was once a trumpet player) at Sheerwater school, where it all began. In The Crowd from All Mod Cons is my favourite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 3 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: In The Crowd from All Mod Cons is my favourite. "...as I catch falling cans of baked beans on toast"? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: I’m a massive Jam fan - grew up in Woking and used to go to band practice (I was once a trumpet player) at Sheerwater school, where it all began. In The Crowd from All Mod Cons is my favourite. I want Funeral Pyre played at my funeral. As my coffin is brought into the church with ".......I can see the faces of those who led, pissing their selves laughing" booming out makes me smile. Then I'll have 'Listen to the Band' by Michael Nesmith then end up with The Fall's version of 'Ghost in my house'. That'll do for me, sunshine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 14 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: "...as I catch falling cans of baked beans on toast"? Naturally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted January 10, 2020 Report Share Posted January 10, 2020 10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I want Funeral Pyre played at my funeral. As my coffin is brought into the church with ".......I can see the faces of those who led, pissing their selves laughing" booming out makes me smile. Then I'll have 'Listen to the Band' by Michael Nesmith then end up with The Fall's version of 'Ghost in my house'. That'll do for me, sunshine. Have a nice death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted January 11, 2020 Report Share Posted January 11, 2020 18 hours ago, Cuntybaws said: Did you ever see him during his stint with Stiff Little Fingers? I want their version of "Smithers-Jones" played at Frank's funeral. The only one smiling is the boss with a suntan? I imagine there will be plenty guffawing when ol’ pipecleaner legs gets folded into his child’s coffin. As for The Jam, and I realise this is likely to start a war, A Town Called Malice is for me their best work. Lyrically bang on, and for years was the source of all my NHS passwords. Raised a smile each morning before the onslaught. Very fond of that song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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