Kirstie Allsop

[Cunty BigBollox]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I don't fucking care Drew. She's blonde, white, and talks with a husky posh English accent. And being a bit Scottish, she'll be partial to a post coital plate of spam fritters with brown sauce.

 

Are you sure it's not her 'spam head' that's the attraction for you. Admittedly the overall assembly of her face makes her very doable, but her forehead makes her look like a female version of Dec from those two little fucking annoying Geordie cunts.

Edited January 25, 2020 by Cunty BigBollox
Awaiting one of their 'fans' to correct me and say Ant.

[Last Cunt Standing]

14 hours ago, Ape™️ said:

I don’t think a stinking gash is necessarily only found on a fat lass. I went out with a skinny bitch in the late 80’s, and the stench from her trench was truly horrifying - couldn’t go near it. A stinking cunt is more down to maintenance than mass.

Or Bacterial Vaginosis, which can really linger in the nostrils on a hot day. Ladies and those so identifying: if your clinician dons a surgical mask for your cervical smear, it’s either a) because they are licking their lips trying to adjust the focus on their hidden iPhone, or b) because they have a jar of Vaseline up each nostril because your cunt smells like Billingsgate in July. The retained tampon is also an utter delight. When the antibiotics run out, we are fucked. 

I always found a Fisherman’s Friend was a good choice to get you through a Midsummer Pelvic exam, the irony of course being that Fisherman’s Friend was most likely the Rugby Club nickname of the malodorous whale with her legs in the stirrups. She no doubt gave you a burning red tongue, too. 

[King Billy]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Or Bacterial Vaginosis, which can really linger in the nostrils on a hot day. Ladies and those so identifying: if your clinician dons a surgical mask for your cervical smear, it’s either a) because they are licking their lips trying to adjust the focus on their hidden iPhone, or b) because they have a jar of Vaseline up each nostril because your cunt smells like Billingsgate in July. The retained tampon is also an utter delight. When the antibiotics run out, we are fucked. 

I always found a Fisherman’s Friend was a good choice to get you through a Midsummer Pelvic exam, the irony of course being that Fisherman’s Friend was most likely the Rugby Club nickname of the malodorous whale with her legs in the stirrups. She no doubt gave you a burning red tongue, too. 

You can wash it with soap 

You can wash it with soda

Bur you’ll never get rid of the Grimsby odour.