Guest Terrible Ted Posted February 8, 2020 Report Share Posted February 8, 2020 43 minutes ago, King Billy said: You cunt. What about me? I gave you a kickstart in the race of likes and next thing I know you’re blowing off Eric. I feel like Philip Schofields missus. While I was busy wooing Eric with a superficial display of gratitude, I was making plans to visit you personally. I was to hide inside a giant party cake and be delivered to your front door in my friend's septic Leyland Sherpa. A hundred Moulin Rouge dancers would burst forth from the cake then, just when you thought it couldn't get any better, I would have crawled out from the wreckage of jam, sponge and butter icing in a sparkly silver thong. The dancers would bugger off somewhere else, leaving you and I free to spend the night together as I fed you Scotch eggs and Laughter in the Rain played in the background, caressing our ears like velvet. But now you've ruined the surprise, you gormless twat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted February 8, 2020 Report Share Posted February 8, 2020 21 minutes ago, Terrible Ted said: While I was busy wooing Eric with a superficial display of gratitude, I was making plans to visit you personally. I was to hide inside a giant party cake and be delivered to your front door in my friend's septic Leyland Sherpa. A hundred Moulin Rouge dancers would burst forth from the cake then, just when you thought it couldn't get any better, I would have crawled out from the wreckage of jam, sponge and butter icing in a sparkly silver thong. The dancers would bugger off somewhere else, leaving you and I free to spend the night together as I fed you Scotch eggs and Laughter in the Rain played in the background, caressing our ears like velvet. But now you've ruined the surprise, you gormless twat. Sorry Ted I can’t talk to you. I’ve been up all night sobbing over Schofield and You. You’ve both disappointed me. I suspected Fillup (my arsehole) Slowfeel wasn’t quite correct but then to discover your true intentions weren’t honourable aswell has almost been the undoing of me. If I wasn’t such an easygoing soul I might tell you to disembowel yourself whilst reciting 500 Halle Berrys, but alas I haven’t got an ounce of malice in me. Let’s just say “I’m pleased for you” and leave it at that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted February 8, 2020 Report Share Posted February 8, 2020 15 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: As if on queue (dragging this back on topic) Scofield has confirmed he prefers a hairy blokes arse to a nice warm fanny and a pair of tits to slobber on. Legions of poofs and women will be clamouring to tune in and see how he "takes it" bravely I hope his first man Friday is hung like a rouge cape buffalo and tears his ring piece to shreds I can't really see the significance of a reddish coloured buffalo unless you mean a 'rogue' one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted February 12, 2020 Report Share Posted February 12, 2020 Any cunt seen that British Gas advert? Pure fucking poofery. Two blokes calling each other “babe”, makes me fucking sick. I have a different kind of gas in mind for that pair of chocolate outriders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Monaco Slim Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 TV's shit. I've never paid the licence in my life, I just pirate everything and put it on my plex server. The BBC can suck my dick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 23 minutes ago, Monaco Slim said: TV's shit. I've never paid the licence in my life, I just pirate everything and put it on my plex server. The BBC can suck my dick They're all too busy sucking each other's dicks. I hear Schofield's available though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Monaco Slim Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said: They're all too busy sucking each other's dicks. I hear Schofield's available though. I used to fuck faggots like schofield in prison Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 14 minutes ago, Monaco Slim said: I used to fuck faggots like schofield in prison Which was nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Which was nice. For whom? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 6 hours ago, Monaco Slim said: TV's shit. I've never paid the licence in my life, I just pirate everything and put it on my plex server. The BBC can suck my dick Stickers, you bone idle fucking cunt, have you been hitting the beak at unprecedented levels? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 4 hours ago, Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) said: For whom? I hope that you (and Eric) do not mind me asking but .. are you two now "an item"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Roops Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 4 hours ago, Decimus said: Stickers, you bone idle fucking cunt, have you been hitting the beak at unprecedented levels? I don't think this is Stickers. There is an alternative match but in the finest traditions of the Jeremy Kyle Show, the digital DNA result is not conclusive. That said, @Monaco Slim, welcome to the Mod Q, where you'll stay until we're satisfied that you can use the site responsibly. Please read the rules and take time to understand The Corner's vibe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said: Please read the rules and take time to understand The Corner's vibe. Fuck me, even I'm still battling with this bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted February 13, 2020 Report Share Posted February 13, 2020 11 hours ago, Monaco Slim said: TV's shit. I've never paid the licence in my life, I just pirate everything and put it on my plex server. The BBC can suck my dick What makes you think they won't? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted February 17, 2020 Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 On 06/02/2020 at 16:57, Stubby Pecker said: We all know telly these days is utter fucking shite, especially if you rely solely on freeview, but it seems to me the vast majority of programming is aimed purely at women and poofters. This is certainly the case with virtually all of the wank that's on ITV and the biggest offender, Channel 4. Mrs Pecker, the daft mare, insisted on watching some crap the other night about an A&E department of which the sole purpose of said program was to allow the viewer to wallow in the misery of some poor unfortunate cunts. "Little Johny has just been bought in with a fractured spine and will probably never walk again. Here's his distraught and blubbing family to tell you what a lively lad he was and the cruelness of it all" Queue tears and snot running down the faces of every split arse and homo watching it. Call me a heartless cunt (I am) but I don't want to see these poor fuckers suffering. Goggle box is another pile of crap watched on mass by the brain-dead, limp wristed fuckwits of this once great nation as are so called lifestyle programs. No heterosexual male should be tuning into this. Homo wank spaz programmes on TV for gays and fucking thick cunt women are fine. It gives them something to occupy their irrelevant lives whilst us blokes switch the heating off and go down the pub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted February 17, 2020 Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 22 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said: Homo wank spaz programmes on TV for gays and fucking thick cunt women are fine. It gives them something to occupy their irrelevant lives whilst us blokes switch the heating off and go down the pub. Let us know which pub you frequent, then I can avoid it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 17, 2020 Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 1 minute ago, Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) said: Let us know which pub you frequent, then I can avoid it. How are you Albert? I'm mildly drunk. I know it's Sunday, but I couldn't drink last night so what the fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted February 17, 2020 Report Share Posted February 17, 2020 5 minutes ago, Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) said: Let us know which pub you frequent, then I can avoid it. White swan Broadway. Proper cunts pub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.