Hammer of Cunts Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 Good morning. By this nomination, I don't mean to include serious experts or weirdos. Tarquin, with his exquisite collection and knowledge of C18 pornographic miniatures and Brian with his mum's spare room full of Star Trek tat can sleep safelly. My targets are those cunts that buy up old industrial/motoring/workshop tat: oil cans, enamel signs, farm implements etc. These bourgeois bellends decorate their walls with "memorabilia"; tools that they don't know how to use and artifacts that they coudn't make. Reminders of a past that they didn't have , displayed in a patronising faux naif style Women do the same thing with old mangles, washstands and chalk paint This sanitised nostalgia for other people's shoud be shit on at every opportunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 9 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: Good morning. By this nomination, I don't mean to include serious experts or weirdos. Tarquin, with his exquisite collection and knowledge of C18 pornographic miniatures and Brian with his mum's spare room full of Star Trek tat can sleep safelly. My targets are those cunts that buy up old industrial/motoring/workshop tat: oil cans, enamel signs, farm implements etc. These bourgeois bellends decorate their walls with "memorabilia"; tools that they don't know how to use and artifacts that they coudn't make. Reminders of a past that they didn't have , displayed in a patronising faux naif style Women do the same thing with old mangles, washstands and chalk paint This sanitised nostalgia for other people's shoud be shit on at every opportunity. Do you have a collection? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted February 29, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 No but, as a well-used old tool, I am highly collectible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 3 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said: Good morning. By this nomination, I don't mean to include serious experts or weirdos. Tarquin, with his exquisite collection and knowledge of C18 pornographic miniatures and Brian with his mum's spare room full of Star Trek tat can sleep safelly. My targets are those cunts that buy up old industrial/motoring/workshop tat: oil cans, enamel signs, farm implements etc. These bourgeois bellends decorate their walls with "memorabilia"; tools that they don't know how to use and artifacts that they coudn't make. Reminders of a past that they didn't have , displayed in a patronising faux naif style Women do the same thing with old mangles, washstands and chalk paint This sanitised nostalgia for other people's shoud be shit on at every opportunity. You're peeved because your mum's made you get rid of your Star Trek stuff to make room for an old mangle. Seriously though, this is a weird thing. I saw that little fat cunt from 'American Pickers', pay some inbred $27.000 for a 1940s Harley Davidson oil can. Stupid little cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 I know someone who collects dog shit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 5 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: I know someone who collects dog shit. I'm a bit worried. I've got 8 zippo lighters in an old shortbread tin. I think I might be some sort of cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I'm a bit worried. I've got 8 zippo lighters in an old shortbread tin. I think I might be some sort of cunt. I think you’re correct - the “stupid fucking” variety if I’m not mistaken. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted February 29, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 39 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I'm a bit worried. I've got 8 zippo lighters in an old shortbread tin. I think I might be some sort of cunt. Only if you regularly stroke them and use them as a way to strike up conversations in inappropriate places. On the other hand, you could hide the lighters in the tin and nobody need know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 7 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: Only if you regularly stroke them and use them as a way to strike up conversations in inappropriate places. On the other hand, you could hide the lighters in the tin and nobody need know. One of them is made of steel as opposed to brass, that means it was made between 1941-44. Because the military wanted all the brass for munitions. I think that might be inappropriate. But I don't stroke them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted February 29, 2020 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 The steel ones are harder to give a decent shine. I lost my father's at the Reading Festival in 1975; I hate Yes. Has it got its original wick? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 40 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: The steel ones are harder to give a decent shine. I lost my father's at the Reading Festival in 1975; I hate Yes. Has it got its original wick? God knows. Found it at a car-boot for a quid. The insert has the right number of holes in the chimney to be original and the wick and wadding are useable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 5 hours ago, Ape™️ said: I know someone who collects dog shit. It's a brave man who comes on here and admits to knowing somebody who collects Michael McIntyre live DVDs, Ape. Cunt looks like a Downs Eskimo peering through an ice portaloo glory hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 9 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said: Good morning. By this nomination, I don't mean to include serious experts or weirdos. Tarquin, with his exquisite collection and knowledge of C18 pornographic miniatures and Brian with his mum's spare room full of Star Trek tat can sleep safelly. My targets are those cunts that buy up old industrial/motoring/workshop tat: oil cans, enamel signs, farm implements etc. These bourgeois bellends decorate their walls with "memorabilia"; tools that they don't know how to use and artifacts that they coudn't make. Reminders of a past that they didn't have , displayed in a patronising faux naif style Women do the same thing with old mangles, washstands and chalk paint This sanitised nostalgia for other people's shoud be shit on at every opportunity. I think there's more than a whiff of OCD about collectors HoC. I would gas them all and any immediate family, to reduce the chance of them seeking revenge in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 7 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: I'm a bit worried. I've got 8 zippo lighters in an old shortbread tin. I think I might be some sort of cunt. Oh you think so? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 29, 2020 Report Share Posted February 29, 2020 Neil asked me if I wanted to get in the back of his Bedford Rascal so he could show me some of his collection, but I politely declined. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted March 1, 2020 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 12 hours ago, ratcum said: I think there's more than a whiff of OCD about collectors HoC. I would gas them all and any immediate family, to reduce the chance of them seeking revenge in the future. It's not the OCDness that I object to; anyone could have a few lighters in a tin or some skeletons (other body parts available) in a closet/trunk/shed. What I hate is the attempt to create a false proletarian history, the pretence that the cunt has done something other than sit in an office every day. In his Elegy, Thomas Gray admonishes us not to mock the useful toil of our "rude forefathers" and that was written in 1750 so this crap is not a new thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 1 hour ago, Hammer of Cunts said: It's not the OCDness that I object to; anyone could have a few lighters in a tin or some skeletons (other body parts available) in a closet/trunk/shed. What I hate is the attempt to create a false proletarian history, the pretence that the cunt has done something other than sit in an office every day. In his Elegy, Thomas Gray admonishes us not to mock the useful toil of our "rude forefathers" and that was written in 1750 so this crap is not a new thing. There is somethig far more insidious than this .. "EXPERIENCE DAYS" pay £250 to serve a 2 hours sentence in an old gaol, £50 to drive a steam locomotive a few miles at 20mph all to let you experience what it was "really" like and so that you can say "been there done that". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcum Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 40 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said: There is somethig far more insidious than this .. "EXPERIENCE DAYS" pay £250 to serve a 2 hours sentence in an old gaol, £50 to drive a steam locomotive a few miles at 20mph all to let you experience what it was "really" like and so that you can say "been there done that". Good point Pen. When I visited Auschwitz I refused to use the cafeteria, even though I'd only had a croissant for brekka 🥳 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 On 29/02/2020 at 11:40, Hammer of Cunts said: Good morning. By this nomination, I don't mean to include serious experts or weirdos. Tarquin, with his exquisite collection and knowledge of C18 pornographic miniatures and Brian with his mum's spare room full of Star Trek tat can sleep safelly. My targets are those cunts that buy up old industrial/motoring/workshop tat: oil cans, enamel signs, farm implements etc. These bourgeois bellends decorate their walls with "memorabilia"; tools that they don't know how to use and artifacts that they coudn't make. Reminders of a past that they didn't have , displayed in a patronising faux naif style Women do the same thing with old mangles, washstands and chalk paint This sanitised nostalgia for other people's shoud be shit on at every opportunity. Have you met Keith? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted March 1, 2020 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 I've got a mate caled Keith, he lives in Kuala Lumpur. He isn't a cunt though. Some of the bollocks that people spout about blacksmithing is fucking cringeworthy. There is no metaphysical aspect to hitting lumps of hot metal. Sometimes I let customers have a go so that they can feel that they were involved in the creation, scares them shitless. The women are usually keener though; I expect they have something to prove. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 20 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: it was made between 1941-44. Because the military wanted all the brass I would try to sell them Eric and put the money towards a cheap brass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted March 1, 2020 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 6 minutes ago, King Billy said: I would try to sell them Eric and put the money towards a cheap brass. I think he likes flicking the top while he polishes the casing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 1 hour ago, Hammer of Cunts said: I've got a mate caled Keith, he lives in Kuala Lumpur. He isn't a cunt though. Some of the bollocks that people spout about blacksmithing is fucking cringeworthy. There is no metaphysical aspect to hitting lumps of hot metal. Sometimes I let customers have a go so that they can feel that they were involved in the creation, scares them shitless. The women are usually keener though; I expect they have something to prove. Cannister or stacked Damascus? Hitachi blue or an old leaf spring? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted March 1, 2020 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 I don't make knives. Creepy yanks collect them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted March 1, 2020 Report Share Posted March 1, 2020 55 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said: I don't make knives. Creepy yanks collect them. So do Brixton dwellers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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