Wong flu -Id19

[and]

7 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Monthly cycle?

I do a monthly cycle, there's plenty of paths around where I live, get some fresh air and exercise, keeps the 'love-handles' at bay.😏

[Guest Stoolstabber500]

2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Why do I keep thinking of 28 Days Later film?

 

Because it and 28 Weeks Later have been repeated on 5* about 20 times over the past few weeks? The first one is good the sequel is a bit meh.

[Eric Cuntman]

38 minutes ago, stoolstabber5000 said:

Because it and 28 Weeks Later have been repeated on 5* about 20 times over the past few weeks? The first one is good the sequel is a bit meh.

I loved the end of the sequel. The channel tunnel was apparently still open and the zombie things are free to simply run to France. 

Totally believable that in the event of the UK being wiped out by a deadly virus, the French would have just left the tunnel intact and unguarded. They would have blown it up and flooded the bastard.

[King Billy]

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I loved the end of the sequel. The channel tunnel was apparently still open and the zombie things are free to simply run to France. 

Totally believable that in the event of the UK being wiped out by a deadly virus, the French would have just left the tunnel intact and unguarded. They would have blown it up and flooded the bastard.

Or surrendered after a few days and then collaborated with the zombies and let them fuck their women. Hang on.......

[Guest Stoolstabber500]

15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I loved the end of the sequel. The channel tunnel was apparently still open and the zombie things are free to simply run to France. 

Totally believable that in the event of the UK being wiped out by a deadly virus, the French would have just left the tunnel intact and unguarded. They would have blown it up and flooded the bastard.

Sacre Bleu! 

Agreed the cheese eating surrender monkeys running away from the infected was definitely the best bit and totally true to the French, i've heard real life theories that there already is explosive charges planted into the Channel tunnel by our country as a fail safe in the event the UK is at war, threat of invasion Etc.

I always got the impression the kid succumbed to the rage virus mid flight with the uppity american helicopter pilot, infected the pilot and his sister, crash landed in France and set off a chain of infections but I could be wrong 🤫

 

 

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, stoolstabber5000 said:

Sacre Bleu! 

Agreed the cheese eating surrender monkeys running away from the infected was definitely the best bit and totally true to the French, i've heard real life theories that there already is explosive charges planted into the Channel tunnel by our country as a fail safe in the event the UK is at war, threat of invasion Etc.

I always got the impression the kid succumbed to the rage virus mid flight with the uppity american helicopter pilot, infected the pilot and his sister, crash landed in France and set off a chain of infections but I could be wrong 🤫

 

 

I think it's brilliant that we've got explosives already in place... @Cuntybaws, any chance you could set them off for a laugh?

[Cuntybaws]

23 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I think it's brilliant that we've got explosives already in place... @Cuntybaws, any chance you could set them off for a laugh?

Sorry mate, too busy crashing the stock market this week.

[Eric Cuntman]

3 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Sorry mate, too busy crashing the stock market this week.

Ok. When you've got a bit of time on your hands then.

[Cunty BigBollox]

8 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Reading other headlines the dark people and bearded ones will now be heading for the USA as Trumpton has banned Europeans from entering the USA.

Today, reading other headlines it seems the Oirish are closing schools and colleges. As if the Paddy Wacks and PansyMufty in particular couldn't get any thicker.

[Cunty BigBollox]

Still no cases reported in Norfolk thanks to the shitty road network linking us with higher levels of civilisation.

[King Billy]

49 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Still no cases reported in Norfolk thanks to the shitty road network linking us with higher levels of civilisation.

Yeah but it only takes one Norfolk man to get it then all his sisters and cousins will have It within a day and their cousins and siblings the next day. Those shitty roads might be the best thing ever. (For the rest of us)

[King Billy]

57 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Today, reading other headlines it seems the Oirish are closing schools and colleges. As if the Paddy Wacks and PansyMufty in particular couldn't get any thicker.

Panzers rusty trumpet has been encased in three ft. of concrete and buried ten miles underground after being tested for lurgies. Apparently it had more germs on it  than Punkers leopard skin thong. And that was 8 weeks ago, before chinkflu even existed.

[Major Cunt]

5 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Why do I keep thinking of 28 Days Later film?

 

Suffering with heavy periods then, Gyper's? Not my field of expertise sadly, but I'm told heroin definitely helps.

[ratcum]

I take no pleasure in reminding you of this, but haven't I been saying fuckin Chinese for months?

Fuckin Chinese

😑

[Penny Farthing]

38 minutes ago, ratcum said:

I take no pleasure in reminding you of this, but haven't I been saying fuckin Chinese for months?

Fuckin Chinese

😑

Eyeties

[Guest judgetwi]

I note that women have now found a new way to hold up the check out queue in the supermarket and annoy the shit out of me. In addition to the usual fucking about getting their cards out of their bags and purses, and putting it all back again, they are now getting out the hand gel from their cavernous bags, applying it, putting it back, searching for their gloves, fucking standing there pulling their gloves on while telling everyone “you can’t be too careful these days.” FOR FUCKS SAKE !!!!

Can we have a “MEN ONLY” checkout please.......for cunts who just want to pay for their shit and get the fuck out of there?

[King Billy]

10 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

I note that women have now found a new way to hold up the check out queue in the supermarket and annoy the shit out of me. In addition to the usual fucking about getting their cards out of their bags and purses, and putting it all back again, they are now getting out the hand gel from their cavernous bags, applying it, putting it back, searching for their gloves, fucking standing there pulling their gloves on while telling everyone “you can’t be too careful these days.” FOR FUCKS SAKE !!!!

Can we have a “MEN ONLY” checkout please.......for cunts who just want to pay for their shit and get the fuck out of there?

My missus went to the supermarket today Judge. She was rabbiting on about people panic buying and other shit which I don’t listen to. It’s like I’ve become immune to her voice. I can see her mouth moving but I can switch on and off what I choose to hear, (usually none of it) at will. Anyway  before she left I spotted a list of rubbish she planned to spend my money on, nothing of any use to me mostly. I purloined the list and pen and carefully wrote between 2 items ‘Virus Buster Flange Wipes’ and put it back where I found it. Unbelievably I had a phone call from her while she was out asking me did I put this on the list? She told me she’d looked all over and asked someone at the pharmacy counter. to no avail. When she got home she’d forgotten all about it and insisted on telling me repeatedly how the shelves were very badly stocked, no toilet rolls and blah blah blah. I’m a bit worried in case she’s going mental. I’ve got enough to do without wiping her arse every five minutes. You’d understand that if you’d seen the state of it. I’m thinking of self isolating in the bedroom for a couple of weeks peace and fucking quiet.

[Guest judgetwi]

56 minutes ago, King Billy said:

 I’m thinking of self isolating in the bedroom for a couple of weeks peace and fucking quiet.

I have been self isolating this week. Nothing has changed it’s just that we don’t call it “ Nobody Comes Near You Because You’re a Cunt” anymore. To be honest i’m quite pleased with the elevation in my social status. I used to be a fucking cunt now i’m a victim. I’m not used to it but i’m quite liking it.

I’m thinking of converting to the religion of peace very soon. 

 

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

My missus went to the supermarket today Judge. She was rabbiting on about people panic buying and other shit which I don’t listen to. It’s like I’ve become immune to her voice. I can see her mouth moving but I can switch on and off what I choose to hear, (usually none of it) at will. Anyway  before she left I spotted a list of rubbish she planned to spend my money on, nothing of any use to me mostly. I purloined the list and pen and carefully wrote between 2 items ‘Virus Buster Flange Wipes’ and put it back where I found it. Unbelievably I had a phone call from her while she was out asking me did I put this on the list? She told me she’d looked all over and asked someone at the pharmacy counter. to no avail. When she got home she’d forgotten all about it and insisted on telling me repeatedly how the shelves were very badly stocked, no toilet rolls and blah blah blah. I’m a bit worried in case she’s going mental. I’ve got enough to do without wiping her arse every five minutes. You’d understand that if you’d seen the state of it. I’m thinking of self isolating in the bedroom for a couple of weeks peace and fucking quiet.

You are so fucked if she reads this. Or not, actually.

[White Cunt]

1 hour ago, judgetwi said:

I’m thinking of converting to the religion of peace very soon

No need to do that. Just wear protective gear 24/7 to make yourself look like an extra from Star Wars. 

[Guest judgetwi]

14 hours ago, Ollyboro said:

Generally speaking, mild coughing fits do not  make people shit themselves, Judy. I'm not surprised the poor woman crossed the road. She's trying to teach her rainbow nation offspring not to shit themselves, and there you are. Molten shite spilling out the bottom of your side-studded Kappa trackie bottoms and a swarm of bluebottles pitying you. Filthy cunt.

 

12 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

On the plus side it's nice to see Jewdy getting out of that festering bedsit for some fresh air. His comment was posted at 08.51, so it's fair to say this happened during his morning White Ace run. It must be a right cunt controling his scooter with delirium tremens.

Homework is very important and don’t forget to always do what your Mums tell you. They know best.

[Mrs Roops]

12 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I note that women have now found a new way to hold up the check out queue in the supermarket and annoy the shit out of me. In addition to the usual fucking about getting their cards out of their bags and purses, and putting it all back again, they are now getting out the hand gel from their cavernous bags, applying it, putting it back, searching for their gloves, fucking standing there pulling their gloves on while telling everyone “you can’t be too careful these days.” FOR FUCKS SAKE !!!!

Can we have a “MEN ONLY” checkout please.......for cunts who just want to pay for their shit and get the fuck out of there?

I agree, its usually men who cause hold ups at self service tills 'cos most of them don't understand the process mechanics. Always, always they unload the trolley contents onto the conveyor belt whereas its far quicker to scan directly from the trolley and straight into the bag, that is if they even do that - more often than not they then spend time loading the purchases from the bagging area into bags after they paid. I gave up explaining time and motion tips to male shoppers when one middle-aged gammon had the temerity to ask "what would a housewife know anyway?" Cue a metaphorical gonad kicking when I replied, "enough to save you and the next in queue five minutes of time. Next time you're allowed out without an appropriate adult use a manned checkout till". Much smirking and sniggering from a lady on the adjacent till, who turned out to be the git's wife who silently mouthed "thank you" to me.

[Guest judgetwi]

22 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

I agree, its usually men who cause hold ups at self service tills 'cos most of them don't understand the process mechanics. Always, always they unload the trolley contents onto the conveyor belt whereas its far quicker to scan directly from the trolley and straight into the bag, that is if they even do that - more often than not they then spend time loading the purchases from the bagging area into bags after they paid. I gave up explaining time and motion tips to male shoppers when one middle-aged gammon had the temerity to ask "what would a housewife know anyway?" Cue a metaphorical gonad kicking when I replied, "enough to save you and the next in queue five minutes of time. Next time you're allowed out without an appropriate adult use a manned checkout till". Much smirking and sniggering from a lady on the adjacent till, who turned out to be the git's wife who silently mouthed "thank you" to me.

Well I wouldn’t know about self service check outs Mr(s) Roops as i’ve never used one. I refuse to put people out of work even if they are dumb enough to do it to themselves. All I know is that whenever there is a hold up, at the check out, at the cash point, at the ticket barrier, wherever, there is some dozy woman fucking about with her bag and her purse, quite often rabbiting on the phone to some other airhead at the same time. Pay attention to the task in hand for fucks sake.......and stop fucking talking!

[Mrs Roops]

16 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

Well I wouldn’t know about self service check outs Mr(s) Roops as i’ve never used one. I refuse to put people out of work even if they are dumb enough to do it to themselves. All I know is that whenever there is a hold up, at the check out, at the cash point, at the ticket barrier, wherever, there is some dozy woman fucking about with her bag and her purse, quite often rabbiting on the phone to some other airhead at the same time. Pay attention to the task in hand for fucks sake.......and stop fucking talking!

Wot? Rebel without a clue and man-of-the people judgetwi using an ATM? The horror. Surely the brothers & sisters should be giving you severe coshing for using the running dog capitalist's  machinery at the expense of a bank-teller's job?  Capitalist lickspittle. 

[Guest judgetwi]

30 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Wot? Rebel without a clue and man-of-the people judgetwi using an ATM? The horror. Surely the brothers & sisters should be giving you severe coshing for using the running dog capitalist's  machinery at the expense of a bank-teller's job?  Capitalist lickspittle. 

You talk like a child. So where else am I supposed to get cash from Greta fucking Thunderbirds? I’m not a cunting pikey.