Wong flu -Id19

[White Cunt]

On 23/05/2020 at 18:45, Witheredscrote said:

No staying at home for this dippy looking cunt.  Boris' political advisor?  @Eddie , he looks  more like Ape on his way to Fatty's Car Wash.

That’s Mr Logic from Viz

[Eric Cuntman]

33 minutes ago, White Cunt said:

That’s Mr Logic from Viz

He's an acute localised bodily smart, located in the rectal area.

[camberwell gypsy]

On 23/05/2020 at 18:45, Witheredscrote said:

No staying at home for this dippy looking cunt.  Boris' political advisor?  @Eddie , he looks  more like Ape on his way to Fatty's Car Wash.

Wheres Wally.

Found him 

[ratcum]

I see that beardy, cardigan wearing, NHS suing twat, Richard Branson has had another setback to his space fantasies. He should ask Sir Philip Greed, a cunt well used to putting his money far away from the taxman. I hope they both die of trench brain

[Eric Cuntman]

13 minutes ago, ratcum said:

I see that beardy, cardigan wearing, NHS suing twat, Richard Branson has had another setback to his space fantasies. He should ask Sir Philip Greed, a cunt well used to putting his money far away from the taxman. I hope they both die of trench brain

Tubular bellend.

[Cunty BigBollox]

Fuck I'm fucking a bit bored of this working from home shit now. Contacting my virtual colleagues for a bit of banter leads to conversations about work and them asking, "how are you managing?". Eric, can you lend us a weapon and some ammo?? They're not traceable are they?

[Guest 'eavensabove]

32 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Fuck I'm fucking a bit bored of this working from home shit now. Contacting my virtual colleagues for a bit of banter leads to conversations about work and them asking, "how are you managing?". Eric, can you lend us a weapon and some ammo?? They're not traceable are they?

Indeed, CB, and I can also relate to your current plight. I have long since tired of the everyday timely calls & emails from people who obviously have no concern about my state, and are only living with the hope that that I'll not respond so that they can at last fumble through my draws for me krugerrands and fight amongst themselves for me deeds. With this mind, me draws are now boobytrapped and me deeds have been used as a shite-wipe and subsequently discarded... I have also adopted the heavy-breathing technique down the phone coupled with a rasping tone of "of fuck, I can't stop sweating, just send me another few grams of coke, I'm alright for blades..."  before then hanging-up on the fuckers... thus far, the coke aint been laced with Ajax, and so I add that meself upon its arrival and punt it out to the cunt next door. 

[ratcum]

2 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Fuck I'm fucking a bit bored of this working from home shit now. Contacting my virtual colleagues for a bit of banter leads to conversations about work and them asking, "how are you managing?". Eric, can you lend us a weapon and some ammo?? They're not traceable are they?

have a secret wank during a Zoom 'meeting' CBB. Practise first though, to minimise shoulder action, coz they'll spot that. It needs to be all wrist action.

✊

[Cunty BigBollox]

1 hour ago, ratcum said:

have a secret wank during a Zoom 'meeting' CBB. Practise first though, to minimise shoulder action, coz they'll spot that. It needs to be all wrist action.

✊

Good plan but what would you recommend to control timing, you know, to avoid a cum face as they're discussing last years accident statistics and how many employees have suffered life changing injuries. A picture of a ginger axe wound might do the trick.

[White Cunt]

1 hour ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Good plan but what would you recommend to control timing, you know, to avoid a cum face as they're discussing last years accident statistics and how many employees have suffered life changing injuries. A picture of a ginger axe wound might do the trick.

Go to plan B - a surgical face mask.

[Eric Cuntman]

6 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Fuck I'm fucking a bit bored of this working from home shit now. Contacting my virtual colleagues for a bit of banter leads to conversations about work and them asking, "how are you managing?". Eric, can you lend us a weapon and some ammo?? They're not traceable are they?

Of course. I'll have a rummage down the back of the sofa. I've probably dropped a couple of S&W model 29s down there, you know, the big Dirty Harry hand cannon that everyone thinks is called a .44 Magnum. Get yourself a seventies haircut and a grey sports jacket and you can have all manner of fun asking 'punks' to 'make your day'.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

you can have all manner of fun asking 'punks' to 'make your day'.

errrrm, you may wish to retract your declaration, Eric. He's been in lockdown and is gagging for it. 

Edited May 26, 2020 by 'eavensabove
WASHING MY HANDS FOR 20 SECONDS

[Witheredscrote]

3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Of course. I'll have a rummage down the back of the sofa. I've probably dropped a couple of S&W model 29s down there, you know, the big Dirty Harry hand cannon that everyone thinks is called a .44 Magnum. Get yourself a seventies haircut and a grey sports jacket and you can have all manner of fun asking 'punks' to 'make your day'.

I hope you live on the ground floor. If all that steel you have got falls through the floor.............Fantasist wanker. lol.

[Eric Cuntman]

17 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

I hope you live on the ground floor. If all that steel you have got falls through the floor.............Fantasist wanker. lol.

Shut your Wehrmacht fellating fucking mouth you snivelling little collaborator cunt.

[King Billy]

27 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Shut your Wehrmacht fellating fucking mouth you snivelling little collaborator cunt.

I was going to say that.

[King Billy]

33 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Shut your Wehrmacht fellating fucking mouth you snivelling little collaborator cunt.

Inglorious basterd (sic)

[Eric Cuntman]

26 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Inglorious basterd (sic)

Watch out for the 'Bear Jew'

[Guest judgetwi]

Just been reading about the new BBQ rules. You can have 6 people in your back garden.....or is it 8? Not quite sure to be honest. But they can’t walk through your house, there must be some access  to your garden. You’d think some cunt could walk from the front door to the back door without spreading Corbyn19 wouldn’t you? Well not if you live in a fucking great mansion like all these politicians do. In which case it’s easy to walk round either side of the house anyway, problem solved.  Then some clever cunt at the meeting obviously said “what, after  drinking all that exquisite, top quality wine, some cunt wants a piss?” Bollocks! I hadn’t thought of that. Well, they can use one of our 5 loos, we’ll seal it off until we can get some booshka booshka chappies in to deep clean it......cash in hand, below minimum wage, claim it on Parliamentary expenses at the going rate. Job’s a good un.

Just write it all down and release it to the press bods ok? Now where’s  Jacinda........she promised to fellate me before I fired up the jolly old barbecue.

Pip! Pip!

[Guest judgetwi]

On 23/05/2020 at 18:45, Witheredscrote said:

No staying at home for this dippy looking cunt.  Boris' political advisor?  @Eddie , he looks  more like Ape on his way to Fatty's Car Wash.

Fuck me! What’s happened to the cunt’s mouth? I didn’t know Boris’s cock was that big.

[Major Cunt]

5 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Fuck me! What’s happened to the cunt’s mouth? I didn’t know Boris’s cock was that big.

Don't be so candid Jewdith. You swallowed Bojo's load after he signed the exit strategy.

 

[Cunty BigBollox]

7 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Just been reading about the new BBQ rules. You can have 6 people in your back garden.....or is it 8? Not quite sure to be honest. But they can’t walk through your house, there must be some access  to your garden. You’d think some cunt could walk from the front door to the back door without spreading Corbyn19 wouldn’t you? Well not if you live in a fucking great mansion like all these politicians do. In which case it’s easy to walk round either side of the house anyway, problem solved.  Then some clever cunt at the meeting obviously said “what, after  drinking all that exquisite, top quality wine, some cunt wants a piss?” Bollocks! I hadn’t thought of that. Well, they can use one of our 5 loos, we’ll seal it off until we can get some booshka booshka chappies in to deep clean it......cash in hand, below minimum wage, claim it on Parliamentary expenses at the going rate. Job’s a good un.

Just write it all down and release it to the press bods ok? Now where’s  Jacinda........she promised to fellate me before I fired up the jolly old barbecue.

Pip! Pip!

My rental property only has 4x loos so hopefully my current tenants have seriously considered this before having people visit. I might have to charge them for an extra deep clean should they decide to vacate.

[Cunty BigBollox]

All this fucking doom and gloom in the press about job losses here and there, 1200 at Harrods and Topshop, 1700 at Airbus. So fucking what, we've had over 43,000 die from Wong Flu recently so by my reckoning even taking into account the retired or just plain lazy workshy cunts in this total,  we still have a lot of fucking vacancies to fill.

[Roadkill]

Just now, Cunty BigBollox said:

All this fucking doom and gloom in the press about job losses here and there, 1200 at Harrods and Topshop, 1700 at Airbus. So fucking what, we've had over 43,000 die from Wong Flu recently so by my reckoning even taking into account the retired or just plain lazy workshy cunts in this total,  we still have a lot of fucking vacancies to fill.

Topshop still exists?

[Cunty BigBollox]

1 minute ago, Roadkill said:

Topshop still exists?

I know. Hard to believe for someone like you who last purchased clothing from Mister Byrite.

[Roadkill]

5 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I know. Hard to believe for someone like you who last purchased clothing from Mister Byrite.

Heart Foundation and sometimes Peacocks if I'm feeling dapper, actually.