Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) Well Comrades, Our Government are seeking 'Your' guidance today as how best to clean and ambulance in less than 45 minutes, and also more obvious perhaps, ways methods & innovative ideas on how to reduce the burden of 'Area Biosurveillance' to enable them to detect Biological Warfare Agents more rapidly... They are also calling out to 'You' to develop the best course of action for the deployment of countermeasures and other protective measures (at this current time...?) 'Your' ingenuity "could save lives" (it has been officially announced from No. 10 and hey, there could even be a Nobel Prize in it for you too! Naturally the above Emergency Requests have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the invisible pox that has been simply been spread by Bat Stew. It just happens to be one of those everyday coincidences... surely. And so, sift through all of your Blue Peter footage, hold on to your cartons and perhaps use the following 'Guidelines' as issued TODAY to assist you. Our end goal is to create an automated all-in-one detection system with integrated aerosol collection, sample processing and identification in as small a system as possible. We are therefore looking for projects which will either develop components (e.g. aerosol collection, sample processing or identification) which could be eventually integrated into a system, or integrate pre-existing components into an all-in-one system. Because the final system needs to provide high confidence outputs in order to support rapid decision making, we are not interested in options based on generic detection technologies (e.g. fluorescence, LIDAR etc). We need the solution to be able to provide specific detection of individual threat agents. When describing your idea, please use the key performance metrics for the technology options including burden (e.g. size, weight, power, and minimal consumable requirement), timeliness (speed of response), threat agent coverage (including different threat modes that could be tuned according to adversity or endemic threat), throughput, sensitivity, specificity and confidence level(s). If you have an idea but you are not sure if it is what we are looking for, please contact a DASA Innovation Partner. Submit your proposal here. Edited April 2, 2020 by 'eavensabove WASHING MY HANDS FOR 20 SECONDS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 … and listening to Trump and Hannock speaking today, they both referred to the "invisible disease" as "being a war..." Man your stations, Comrades. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 33 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: … and listening to Trump and Hannock speaking today, they both referred to the "invisible disease" as "being a war..." Man your stations, Comrades. I can’t see it myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 2, 2020 Report Share Posted April 2, 2020 19 minutes ago, King Billy said: I can’t see it myself. ? open your eyes. It's directly in front of you. Top of page. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 13 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: … and listening to Trump and Hannock speaking today, they both referred to the "invisible disease" as "being a war..." Man your stations, Comrades. Hopefully this will be the end for The Donald- he comes across as bullshiting, uncaring, uninformed and with all the intelligence of a brain damaged bonobo with tertiary downs syndrome. But then again I'm probably underestimating how fucking pig shit thick most yankers are. If its found out the yellow cunts did start this on purpose then its time for every single one of the little cunts to be fried up in a big China sized wok with ICBMs as the fuel source. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 25 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: 37 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: If its found out the yellow cunts did start this on purpose then its time for every single one of the little cunts to be fried up in a big China sized wok with ICBMs as the fuel source. This is obviously top of the orange shitgibbons to do list after the dumb bastards re elect him in November. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hammer of Cunts Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 Trump's managed so far with bullshit and bombast but he can't bully a virus, even the dimmest will see that. Surely? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 2 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said: Hopefully this will be the end for The Donald- he comes across as bullshiting, uncaring, uninformed and with all the intelligence of a brain damaged bonobo with tertiary downs syndrome. But then again I'm probably underestimating how fucking pig shit thick most yankers are. If its found out the yellow cunts did start this on purpose then its time for every single one of the little cunts to be fried up in a big China sized wok with ICBMs as the fuel source. Trump's never realised he's had a beginning or an end, and so he'll plod-along as the Trump that he is to the satisfaction of the blinkered idiots & slaves that he masters... I'm as blind as the next cunt Stubs, but there's more to this pox than meets the eye, and the more that powers that be open their mouths the more hidden truths escape from the fuckers. Why, even an amateur dramatic society would make it more convincing. Bat Stew it aint… or if it is, then it is sure as fuck more easily caught than Trump & Boris Inc. plc will ever have the decency to tell. On the other hand of course, if it is indeed an 'act of germ warfare' then the only defensive action is what? Nukes, and you can bet your last Paracetamol that they've now realised that much at least and consequently they're fucked. Some cunts have been tucked-up indoors for months without any physical contact with any other fucker at all, and yet here they are today dropping darn-dead, safe in the knowledge that all will be better within 7 days if you keep washing your hands. Wash yer hands? Yep, follow the procedures of those in government as that is precisely what they've done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 hour ago, Hammer of Cunts said: Trump's managed so far with bullshit and bombast but he can't bully a virus, even the dimmest will see that. Surely? He'll soon do a Hitler and retire to his bunker for a few hands of Stud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 There are no cases of COVID in Tonga. Move to Tonga. It is safe in Tonga. You can leave your home in Tonga. You can smoke in their bar at Tonga... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said: There are no cases of COVID in Tonga. Move to Tonga. It is safe in Tonga. You can leave your home in Tonga. You can smoke in their bar at Tonga... Are Tonga Loans available for travel costs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, King Billy said: Are Tonga Loans available for travel costs? Yes. Tonga Wonga as it is generically known. Edited April 3, 2020 by 'eavensabove WASHING MY HANDS FOR 20 SECONDS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Jay Leno has a holiday cottage there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: There are no cases of COVID in Tonga. Move to Tonga. It is safe in Tonga. You can leave your home in Tonga. You can smoke in their bar at Tonga... The lady on the right is the current Miss Tonga. The other lady is last years Miss Tonga handing her the prize of a butternut squash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Billy Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 22 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: The lady on the right is the current Miss Tonga. The other lady is last years Miss Tonga handing her the prize of a butternut squash. They’re on their way to the ‘Who wants to win a pair of flip flops’ hit TV show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 37 minutes ago, King Billy said: They’re on their way to the ‘Who wants to win a pair of flip flops’ hit TV show. … and the Triangular signpost denotes "Breedin' pair of inbreds For Sale" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt-End Of The World Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 On 02/04/2020 at 13:11, 'eavensabove said: Well Comrades, Our Government are seeking 'Your' guidance today as how best to clean and ambulance in less than 45 minutes, and also more obvious perhaps, ways methods & innovative ideas on how to reduce the burden of 'Area Biosurveillance' to enable them to detect Biological Warfare Agents more rapidly... They are also calling out to 'You' to develop the best course of action for the deployment of countermeasures and other protective measures (at this current time...?) 'Your' ingenuity "could save lives" (it has been officially announced from No. 10 and hey, there could even be a Nobel Prize in it for you too! Naturally the above Emergency Requests have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the invisible pox that has been simply been spread by Bat Stew. It just happens to be one of those everyday coincidences... surely. And so, sift through all of your Blue Peter footage, hold on to your cartons and perhaps use the following 'Guidelines' as issued TODAY to assist you. Our end goal is to create an automated all-in-one detection system with integrated aerosol collection, sample processing and identification in as small a system as possible. We are therefore looking for projects which will either develop components (e.g. aerosol collection, sample processing or identification) which could be eventually integrated into a system, or integrate pre-existing components into an all-in-one system. Because the final system needs to provide high confidence outputs in order to support rapid decision making, we are not interested in options based on generic detection technologies (e.g. fluorescence, LIDAR etc). We need the solution to be able to provide specific detection of individual threat agents. When describing your idea, please use the key performance metrics for the technology options including burden (e.g. size, weight, power, and minimal consumable requirement), timeliness (speed of response), threat agent coverage (including different threat modes that could be tuned according to adversity or endemic threat), throughput, sensitivity, specificity and confidence level(s). If you have an idea but you are not sure if it is what we are looking for, please contact a DASA Innovation Partner. Submit your proposal here. It's especially alarming considering I first read this almost 3 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 hour ago, Cunt-End Of The World said: It's especially alarming considering I first read this almost 3 years ago. Indeed it is… I received it 'fresh' from GOV.UK only yesterday Ceotw (are you Welsh?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 hour ago, Cunt-End Of The World said: It's especially alarming considering I first read this almost 3 years ago. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/covid-19-call-for-rapid-sanitising-technology-for-ambulances?utm_source=6a655b94-a455-40ec-9b57-1e477bdc2868&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=govuk-notifications&utm_content=immediate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt-End Of The World Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 3 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Indeed it is… I received it 'fresh' from GOV.UK only yesterday Ceotw (are you Welsh?) I'm not Welsh and I don't know what Ceotw means. I'm forced to take a defensive position here and assume you have fingers covered in vaseline and you are a divvy cunt. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt-End Of The World Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 2 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/covid-19-call-for-rapid-sanitising-technology-for-ambulances?utm_source=6a655b94-a455-40ec-9b57-1e477bdc2868&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=govuk-notifications&utm_content=immediate Oh, sorry I understand now. Those words without the Corvid-19 heading were circulated around Oxford science park. Not word for word, but not far off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 10 minutes ago, Cunt-End Of The World said: I'm not Welsh and I don't know what Ceotw means. I'm forced to take a defensive position here and assume you have fingers covered in vaseline and you are a divvy cunt. Sorry. Ceotw = Cunt-End Of The World Divvy cunt. No apologies accepted. Buy me something, you wank-wipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt-End Of The World Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 Just now, 'eavensabove said: Ceotw = Cunt-End Of The World Divvy cunt. No apologies accepted. Buy me something, you wank-wipe. Lol. Pay for your own fucking rent boy. Again, apologies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 minute ago, Cunt-End Of The World said: Lol. Pay for your own fucking rent boy. Again, apologies. I don't pay no cunt any rent, boy. But I get your drift, Welshie-Wally, and in this instance I find your missive acceptable. I still want some Lava Bread though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cunt-End Of The World Posted April 3, 2020 Report Share Posted April 3, 2020 3 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: I don't pay no cunt any rent, boy. But I get your drift, Welshie-Wally, and in this instance I find your missive acceptable. I still want some Lava Bread though. I don't make Laver bread. Have a like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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