Queen Lizard Speaksssssss

[Last Cunt Standing]

On 07/04/2020 at 04:32, King Billy said:

Phil the Greek shouldn’t be allowed to drive any ambulances probably. And Andy shouldn’t be put in charge of the children’s ward probably. Fergie mightn’t be the best choice as finance director probably. Young Hewitt and Bubbles Markle could be perfect to run the transbender ward probably. Edward, with his vast military experience could assist in the snack bar, if accompanied by a responsible adult probably. 

You’re forgetting Dr Jug Ears, who’d have them lining the streets for his organic homeopathy potions and ointments, guaranteed to do fuck all for the problem but make you feel warm inside, much like the Windsors themselves. Princess Michael of Kent would get the keys to the Mengele Research unit inevitably. Kate would be running the WRVS stall in the lobby, while Mum and Dad would be watching on from the Royal Box nearby. Wills would be breathlessly whizzing about in his chopper, trying not to laugh at the word chopper. A shit show all round.

But I’d bet my left bollock they’d all have PPE. 

[Stubby Pecker]

9 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Potato blight.

If only. A double whammy of Corona, spud rot and throw in some Ebola and it might just finish the cunts off. Welcome to Europe's last great wilderness

[PANZER MURPHY]

10 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

How's it really going in bog land panzy? Are the natives doing as told a staying away from each other? I'm guessing the urge to go out, get pissed and beat each other up is very difficult to suppress for your average mick.

Joking aside, those rural dwellers should have nothing to worry about. 

Things are quite civil here spuddy baby..police have been given powers of detention for the next four days to dissuade the normal 10% of any given group who are genetic fucktards not to scoot off to their holiday cottages for the Easter break.

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

[Stubby Pecker]

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

You’re forgetting Dr Jug Ears, who’d have them lining the streets for his organic homeopathy potions and ointments, guaranteed to do fuck all for the problem but make you feel warm inside, much like the Windsors themselves. Princess Michael of Kent would get the keys to the Mengele Research unit inevitably. Kate would be running the WRVS stall in the lobby, while Mum and Dad would be watching on from the Royal Box nearby. Wills would be breathlessly whizzing about in his chopper, trying not to laugh at the word chopper. A shit show all round.

But I’d bet my left bollock they’d all have PPE. 

I'd bet your other bollock that Kate hasn't eaten a square meal in a few years. I've seen more meat on a vegan burger  

[Last Cunt Standing]

1 minute ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I'd bet your other bollock that Kate hasn't eaten a square meal in a few years. I've seen more meat on a vegan burger  

Really? I heard she likes German sausage. She is a bit thin mind. You could fold her into a pretzel and dip her in salt, should you wish. 

[Stubby Pecker]

2 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Really? I heard she likes German sausage. She is a bit thin mind. You could fold her into a pretzel and dip her in salt, should you wish. 

A bit thin! Shes not allowed to go out on even a slightly windy day lest she ends up stuck in a tree in the grounds of Windsor Castle. As for the dipping bit, I'll pass. Her sister, however, I'd like to dip my sweaty pecker in her dung passage before flipping her over for a all over coating of vile stubby batter

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

police have been given powers of detention for the next four days 

With any luck they’ll interpret that as unlimited powers and machine gun the whole fucking lot of you.

[Stubby Pecker]

3 minutes ago, King Billy said:

With any luck they’ll interpret that as unlimited powers and machine gun the whole fucking lot of you.

The mick police are still using Lewis guns Billy and I reckon it'll be hard to get the ammo these days. Best just enforce a curfew and the thick cunts will die of starvation on their sofas 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

11 hours ago, King Billy said:

You could have stuck an H in PEASANTS and Withers would have been back on the corner before you could say ‘Goose fat anyone?’

My own thoughts exactly KB, and why, I could have even taken the "PEAS" fed them to the poor and added an "A" for SANTA," because that's kind of cunt I am, but times are strange and so the poor & Santa can fuck right off.. I wouldn't grant them the contents of a COVID wards spittoon right now. I tire of being PLEASANT, if yer get me drift.    

[King Billy]

22 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

The mick police are still using Lewis guns Billy and I reckon it'll be hard to get the ammo these days. Best just enforce a curfew and the thick cunts will die of starvation on their sofas 

Watching Ballykissangel and repeats of The Terry Wogan Show.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

14 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

How's it really going in bog land panzy? Are the natives doing as told a staying away from each other? I'm guessing the urge to go out, get pissed and beat each other up is very difficult to suppress for your average mick.

Joking aside, those rural dwellers should have nothing to worry about. 

Dear Receiver

We have all been enflicktid with a potential Virus

This is a MANUAL Virus not a Technical Virus.

Please delete all files on your hard disc yourself

and spread this to all who you know.

That'd be Grand.

Tanx

Paddy O'Hacker @panza.co.county.cork

[Guest 'eavensabove]

3 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

Things are quite civil here spuddy baby..police have been given powers of detention for the next four days to dissuade the normal 10% of any given group who are genetic fucktards not to scoot off to their holiday cottages for the Easter break.

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

It is more aptly described as being a "Bank Holiday Weekend" Panza, over here in the UK. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

14 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Potato blight.

You've got to give it to him Eric. Panza, I mean.

Upon getting wind of the virus he was the first to back-up his hard drive.  

[Eric Cuntman]

1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said:

The mick police are still using Lewis guns Billy and I reckon it'll be hard to get the ammo these days. Best just enforce a curfew and the thick cunts will die of starvation on their sofas 

7.62x54 Russian is still manufactured and stockpiled by the Ruskies. 

[Stubby Pecker]

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

7.62x54 Russian is still manufactured and stockpiled by the Ruskies. 

How did I know you'd know this....

"Wots dis big round disc fooker on da top dare paddy?"

"B fooked if I no, ya cunt. Praps ya can put an old 7 inch record on da bogger whilst yoos shootin da fookin ting?"

"Ahh ya full shite, ya cunt, so ya are!"

[Eric Cuntman]

22 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

How did I know you'd know this....

"Wots dis big round disc fooker on da top dare paddy?"

"B fooked if I no, ya cunt. Praps ya can put an old 7 inch record on da bogger whilst yoos shootin da fookin ting?"

"Ahh ya full shite, ya cunt, so ya are!"

Paddy..how come yiz Lewis gun hasn't got a big fat barrel?

because moi grandpa wiz a poikey and he nicked it from a sopwith camel in 1917, so he did, so he did.

[Stubby Pecker]

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Paddy..how come yiz Lewis gun hasn't got a big fat barrel?

because moi grandpa wiz a poikey and he nicked it from a sopwith camel in 1917, so he did, so he did.

Quite right you are- when used as an aircraft machine gun, almost always with the cooling shroud was removed (as air flow during flight offers sufficient cooling). An impressive bit of kit for its day and still 100% better than the LSW

[Guest Cunt-End Of The World]

Today queen leatherface of Windsor whisps her way back up from the bottom of her Indian basket to the tune of suffering people, with overtures of total contempt for the plebian unfortunates as they beg for permission to breath and buy chocolate eggs. Its suckling tumour-child Andrew, terrifies local people, delivering cupcakes with his zipper drawn to reveal a spiked member for whoever doesn't want to see it, egged on by the Duke of Olimpia in the passenger seat of a freshly blooded 4x4. 

Detestable cunts.

[Major Cunt]

On 05/04/2020 at 21:18, Cunt-End Of The World said:

2 days ago was 2 days too fucking early. It aired today. But I tell you what we can do. Let's predict all forthcoming world content and see who can most accurately convey all news. Here's my first attempt, Judgetwi drinks Toilet Duck and dies in agony. Cunt.

It's been suggested on more than one occasion that Judgetwat makes himself a little Demestos cocktail, but fear not.

I've a feeling that when the shops run out of Special Brew he might just do it, if he's out of Brute or Old Spice.

 

[Guest N/A]

On 07/04/2020 at 17:44, PANZER MURPHY said:

Ya were better at more mainstream social commentary MC baby...Up yer game yuu fakkin kant yuu (said in a Ben Kingsley sexy beast accent)

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

Luv that film..... might give it a watch again....got some time on my hands for some reason.   Ray Winston in speedos !

[Major Cunt]

On 08/04/2020 at 14:00, Eric Cuntman said:

7.62x54 Russian is still manufactured and stockpiled by the Ruskies. 

It's the standard round for the AK-74 I believe, but it was for the AK-47.

Is this correct @Eric Cuntman? Our resident firearms expert.

[Eric Cuntman]

4 hours ago, Major Cunt said:

It's the standard round for the AK-74 I believe, but it was for the AK-47.

Is this correct @Eric Cuntman? Our resident firearms expert.

No, the 7.62x54 was a broad rim base. Virtually the same in every other way. They're all the same calibre really, measure any .303, 308 or 7.62 with a vernier gauge and they'll come in at around 300 thousandths of an inch.

[Guest Cunt-End Of The World]

8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

No, the 7.62x54 was a broad rim base. Virtually the same in every other way. They're all the same calibre really, measure any .303, 308 or 7.62 with a vernier gauge and they'll come in at around 300 thousandths of an inch.

Glad to have you aboard @King Billy's end-times 4x4, that's for sure.

[White Cunt]

On 05/04/2020 at 20:23, Cunt-End Of The World said:

Oh fuck off you German adder cunt. I feel neither relieved or encouraged by your 4 minute address, nor do I think you consider us 'in it together'. Crafty fucking serpent, reading from a university pumped student script and whispering your spells between paragraphs. 

 

On 07/04/2020 at 23:57, 'eavensabove said:

 

 

It has been announced that her royal highness is going underground in perpetuity. There will be no speeches, parties and public engagements.
 

meaning

The virus is doing more and more damage in the highest echelons of our international elite circles. It already got to Boris and Charles, it’s only a matter of time before it gets to me and Donald, if we don’t fully withdraw. I told Donald to stay away from Washington, New York and his bankrupt Scottish golf course but he doesn’t listen. He will regret it soon, the fool.

Fuck you plebeian cunts. Stay away from me.

 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 hour ago, White Cunt said:

 

It has been announced that her royal highness is going underground in perpetuity. There will be no speeches, parties and public engagements.
 

meaning

The virus is doing more and more damage in the highest echelons of our international elite circles. It already got to Boris and Charles, it’s only a matter of time before it gets to me and Donald, if we don’t fully withdraw. I told Donald to stay away from Washington, New York and his bankrupt Scottish golf course but he doesn’t listen. He will regret it soon, the fool.

Fuck you plebeian cunts. Stay away from me.

 

Not only that, WC...

NASA have announced that they're sending Traditionalist Christian families from Pennsylvania and Ohio to the Red Planet...

It's Amish on to Mars.