"Human Interest" Stories

[Hammer of Cunts]

Every bloody news broadcast now spends half its fucking time explaining how bad life is for one or another group of people whose shit lives are presumably meant to be an inspiration to us all.

Who really wants to know about a bunch of schoolchildren crocheting their own face-masks and painting rainbows on the fence?

Just give us the fucking facts; if I want infantile tips on avoiding boredom, I'll watch blue Peter.

[Guest Bernard Fuck]

The simple answer to this malaise is stop watching the telly.

MSM is overflowing with disinfo and rainbow poofery bullshit.

[Jiggerycock]

Everything to do with the reporting of, and dealing with, this thing, fucks me right off.

• The ghoullish glee of Huw Edwards when he announces that deaths have gone through some other arbitrarily important barrier (who knew 27,000 was the new 666?)
• The asinine fucking 'feel this way about the NHS (or else)' uncritical brain spazz mode we've adopted. If the NHS is shit, it's the government's fault - specifically Boris - and not those highly-paid teams of procurement professionals this fifth largest employer in the Western World, pays to get their supply chain in order.
• Rainbows - subsection 'Somewhere Over The. (song)', specifically - and the steaming clitoris at the top of this cunt, that is Amanda Holden
• Quizzes, oh Jesus the fucking quizzes......closely followed by the Polls (the winner of which is ALWAYS 'Imagine', 'Neal Peart' or 'the bit where Del Boy falls through the counter')
• The enforced jollity and the oh-so lame cunts that foist their brand of entertainment on us
• The matey 'hey, we're on your side' advertising from breadhead corporations that would tie you down and harvest your kidneys any other time
• Gotcha reporters NOT asking why we have gone on this suicidal course of action

....for starters

Sorry. Feeling a bit nihilistic today.

Think I'll go for my government-sanctioned hour of exercise.........

 

 

 

[camberwell gypsy]

7 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

Everything to do with the reporting of, and dealing with, this thing, fucks me right off.

• The ghoullish glee of Huw Edwards when he announces that deaths have gone through some other arbitrarily important barrier (who knew 27,000 was the new 666?)
• The asinine fucking 'feel this way about the NHS (or else)' uncritical brain spazz mode we've adopted. If the NHS is shit, it's the government's fault - specifically Boris - and not those highly-paid teams of procurement professionals this fifth largest employer in the Western World, pays to get their supply chain in order.
• Rainbows - subsection 'Somewhere Over The. (song)', specifically - and the steaming clitoris at the top of this cunt, that is Amanda Holden
• Quizzes, oh Jesus the fucking quizzes......closely followed by the Polls (the winner of which is ALWAYS 'Imagine', 'Neal Peart' or 'the bit where Del Boy falls through the counter')
• The enforced jollity and the oh-so lame cunts that foist their brand of entertainment on us
• The matey 'hey, we're on your side' advertising from breadhead corporations that would tie you down and harvest your kidneys any other time
• Gotcha reporters NOT asking why we have gone on this suicidal course of action

....for starters

Sorry. Feeling a bit nihilistic today.

Think I'll go for my government-sanctioned hour of exercise.........

 

 

 

I feel your pain J cock. I'll light a candle for you. And set light to the cunt next door's home made rainbow flag. 

[White Cunt]

4 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I feel your pain J cock. I'll light a candle for you. And set light to the cunt next door's home made rainbow flag. 

Make sure you wear a mask and gloves to reduce detection. Not that plod would undertake an investigation anyway - they are far too busy interrogating rogue motorists breaking sanctions on their way to the local duck pond.

[colonelkurtz]

" ..  the steaming clitoris ....  that is Amanda Holden " . Spot on  Jiggers .  Am reading this just as Mrs Kurtz was looking for Pastrami slices at the deli counter. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

If Holden's traumatic account of giving birth to Hollie is anything to go by, she's ended up with far less than a steaming clit, and is now left with an X Factored fanny that can compete with Cowells prolapsed arse.   

Edited May 8, 2020 by 'eavensabove
WASHING MY HANDS FOR 20 SECONDS

[Hammer of Cunts]

It's not though; this maundering drivel is all over the place: on posters, on the sides of what buses are still running, shop and house windows. Everywhere you go there's some dimwitted cunt trying to show that they care more than you aout things that they don't understand.

Who the fuck wants to see toddlers in Gateshead making a shitstabers' flag or Auntie Edna's recipe for fucking "lockdown soup"?

Are they trying to turn us all into women or something?

[Penny Farthing]

15 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

Who the fuck wants to see toddlers in Gateshead making a shitstabers' flag or Auntie Edna's recipe for fucking "lockdown soup"?

Are they trying to turn us all into women or something?

Has it not occurred to you that the reason they do it is so that they can see their own or their childrens work on the television and internet and can show all their friends and others just how clever and caring they are?

[Guest 'eavensabove]

1 minute ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

It's not though; this maundering drivel is all over the place: on posters, on the sides of what buses are still running, shop and house windows. Everywhere you go there's some dimwitted cunt trying to show that they care more than you aout things that they don't understand.

Who the fuck wants to see toddlers in Gateshead making a shitstabers' flag or Auntie Edna's recipe for fucking "lockdown soup"?

Are they trying to turn us all into women or something?

It's in the mindset of the so-called 'patriotic Brits' to hail & wail and to applaud some cunt of a hero/s in one way or another, and every cunt has to jump on the bandwagon, come-up with something daft & addictive, and the whole population goes AWOL. If it's not rainbows or the NHS it's red noses &  Pudsey the poxy bear... TODAY, it's all the rage to dress yer kid in great-grandads cowardice medals, shove a poppy up its arse and rattle a bucket for some coppers to line the pockets of the Red Arrows. 

Fuck knows what the kids of today are gonna turn out like. Lockdowned, sheep-dipped & masked-up before their sit-at-home parents drag the poor little cunts outside to clap & holler religiously on the dot at 9pm every poxy day for something or another, whilst their neighbours grin like baboons and bang saucepans week in week out.   

[and]

4 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

if I want infantile tips on avoiding boredom, I'll watch blue Peter.

or go to this thread...

 

[Hammer of Cunts]

1 hour ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Has it not occurred to you that the reason they do it is so that they can see their own or their childrens work on the television and internet and can show all their friends and others just how clever and caring they are?

Yes, it has. If they put it  on a fridge, in a window or on daytime  telly; Fine. I don't want to see this bolllocks when I'm trying to watch the grown-up news.

[Hammer of Cunts]

1 hour ago, 'eavensabove said:

 great-grandads cowardice medals,  

OK, so almost everyone got Pip, Squeak and Wilfred, but why "cowardice medals"?

[camberwell gypsy]

2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said:

It's in the mindset of the so-called 'patriotic Brits' to hail & wail and to applaud some cunt of a hero/s in one way or another, and every cunt has to jump on the bandwagon, come-up with something daft & addictive, and the whole population goes AWOL. If it's not rainbows or the NHS it's red noses &  Pudsey the poxy bear... TODAY, it's all the rage to dress yer kid in great-grandads cowardice medals, shove a poppy up its arse and rattle a bucket for some coppers to line the pockets of the Red Arrows. 

Fuck knows what the kids of today are gonna turn out like. Lockdowned, sheep-dipped & masked-up before their sit-at-home parents drag the poor little cunts outside to clap & holler religiously on the dot at 9pm every poxy day for something or another, whilst their neighbours grin like baboons and bang saucepans week in week out.   

What's a cowardice medal?  My grandad won shitloads of medals. One was the Italian Bravery Star. He won that taking on a brothel in Modena single handed. And if he was a yank he'd have won the purple heart for contracting a STD in the process. So have some respect.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

40 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

What's a cowardice medal?  My grandad won shitloads of medals. One was the Italian Bravery Star. He won that taking on a brothel in Modena single handed. And if he was a yank he'd have won the purple heart for contracting a STD in the process. So have some respect.

AKA The White Feather, it is the highest acclaim that can be bestowed upon a desert rat. I meant no offence and I take me hat off to yer ansisters, Gyps, but you can buy The Bravery Star at W.H. Smiths, for less than the price of The Missionary Mart. 

[Cuntybaws]

5 hours ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

It's not though; this maundering drivel is all over the place: on posters, on the sides of what buses are still running, shop and house windows. Everywhere you go there's some dimwitted cunt trying to show that they care more than you aout things that they don't understand.

Who the fuck wants to see toddlers in Gateshead making a shitstabers' flag or Auntie Edna's recipe for fucking "lockdown soup"?

Are they trying to turn us all into women or something?

Have I ever mentioned that I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE!?

[Eddie]

2 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Have I ever mentioned that I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE!?

Especially the stupid cunts having the worlds worst street party today, shouting to the neighbour's  next door, eating a poxy sandwich sitting at a paste table under a union jack flag.....makes me vomit.

[Eric Cuntman]

4 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Have I ever mentioned that I FUCKING HATE PEOPLE!?

Me too. People are cunts compared to most other species. Millenials have managed to achieve an unprecedented level of cuntishness. I could machine-gun students all day long without a moments regret or hint of guilt.

[King Billy]

6 hours ago, colonelkurtz said:

  Am reading this just as Mrs Kurtz was looking for Pastrami slices at the deli counter. 

I know there’s a bog roll drought but is she sure that’s the best alternative? There must be something else available.

[King Billy]

2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

He won that taking on a brothel in Modena single handed.

I heard about that.

[Cuntybaws]

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Me too. People are cunts compared to most other species. Millenials have managed to achieve an unprecedented level of cuntishness. I could machine-gun students all day long without a moments regret or hint of guilt.

It's almost as if they think people outside their own little circle jerk Facebook groups actually care what they say. Every time a BBC presenter reads out a tweet from a member of the public, it's like a nail in my heart.

[King Billy]

10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Me too. People are cunts compared to most other species. Millenials have managed to achieve an unprecedented level of cuntishness. I could machine-gun students all day long without a moments regret or hint of guilt.

I’d recommend an MG 42 for that Eric. Get the job done before you could say “Bye Bye Snowflakes”

[Hammer of Cunts]

1 minute ago, Cuntybaws said:

It's almost as if they think people outside their own little circle jerk Facebook groups actually care what they say. Every time a BBC presenter reads out a tweet from a member of the public, it's like a nail in my heart.

Almost any news report ends with an asinine vox pop  from the mouth-breathers of Twitter, pouring out ill-informed subjective shite. It's either lazy journalism or a plot to stop us thinking beyond our own initial reactions.

[Eric Cuntman]

1 minute ago, King Billy said:

I’d recommend an MG 42 for that Eric. Get the job done before you could say “Bye Bye Snowflakes”

No good for 'all day' massacres. Barrel heat problems. I prefer the good old Bren. I'm nothing if not patriotic. (Out of likes by the way. IOU)

[King Billy]

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

No good for 'all day' massacres. Barrel heat problems. I prefer the good old Bren. I'm nothing if not patriotic. (Out of likes by the way. IOU)

Perhaps you’re right. It would be a great buzz though to get dressed up in full Waffen SS  kit and let the fuckers meet their first ever Nazi as their last ever thing in their miserable lives. After all it’s their favourite insult after racist. It’s only right they get to see one up close before watching their guts explode like a hedgehog in a microwave.