Ape™️ Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 I had to drive my daughter to her first hair appointment since lockdown today and during the journey, despite there being nothing behind me, a Vauxhall Zafira decided it was necessary to pull out right in front of me, causing me to brake. I raised my arms in exasperation and was treated to being brake-checked several times, followed by a load of gesticulating and flashing of hazard lights. The moron behind the wheel then proceeded to go off like a lunatic, despite being in a 30 mph limit. In the rear window of the car was a “baby on board” sticker, and the headrests of two child seats were clearly visible. I fucking detest, with a passion so intense it almost consumes my soul, these utter wankers who feel they need to proclaim to the the world that the occupants of their car are in some way more important than those of any other vehicle on the road. The irony of them generally being diabolically bad drivers that show no consideration to other road users is the icing on the cake. I wish each and every one of them, death. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 8 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: I had to drive my daughter to her first hair appointment since lockdown today and during the journey, despite there being nothing behind me, a Vauxhall Zafira decided it was necessary to pull out right in front of me, causing me to brake. I raised my arms in exasperation and was treated to being brake-checked several times, followed by a load of gesticulating and flashing of hazard lights. The moron behind the wheel then proceeded to go off like a lunatic, despite being in a 30 mph limit. In the rear window of the car was a “baby on board” sticker, and the headrests of two child seats were clearly visible. I fucking detest, with a passion so intense it almost consumes my soul, these utter wankers who feel they need to proclaim to the the world that the occupants of their car are in some way more important than those of any other vehicle on the road. The irony of them generally being diabolically bad drivers that show no consideration to other road users is the icing on the cake. I wish each and every one of them, death. Fuck off. And the 'baby on board' sticker is also a badge of honour, drawing attention to the fact that the male occupant of the vehicle is possessed of functioning testicles, a veritable fountain of virility. Personally, I tend to be more mindful if there's a cute dog looking at me through the rear screen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 Ian Watkins thinks that these stickers are a menu for whats on offer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 18 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: I had to drive my daughter to her first hair appointment since lockdown today and during the journey, despite there being nothing behind me, a Vauxhall Zafira decided it was necessary to pull out right in front of me, causing me to brake. I raised my arms in exasperation and was treated to being brake-checked several times, followed by a load of gesticulating and flashing of hazard lights. The moron behind the wheel then proceeded to go off like a lunatic, despite being in a 30 mph limit. In the rear window of the car was a “baby on board” sticker, and the headrests of two child seats were clearly visible. I fucking detest, with a passion so intense it almost consumes my soul, these utter wankers who feel they need to proclaim to the the world that the occupants of their car are in some way more important than those of any other vehicle on the road. The irony of them generally being diabolically bad drivers that show no consideration to other road users is the icing on the cake. I wish each and every one of them, death. Fuck off. What ethnic origin were the occupants of the diabolically driven vehicle? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 24 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: I had to drive my daughter to her first hair appointment since lockdown today and during the journey, despite there being nothing behind me, a Vauxhall Zafira decided it was necessary to pull out right in front of me, causing me to brake. I raised my arms in exasperation and was treated to being brake-checked several times, followed by a load of gesticulating and flashing of hazard lights. The moron behind the wheel then proceeded to go off like a lunatic, despite being in a 30 mph limit. In the rear window of the car was a “baby on board” sticker, and the headrests of two child seats were clearly visible. I fucking detest, with a passion so intense it almost consumes my soul, these utter wankers who feel they need to proclaim to the the world that the occupants of their car are in some way more important than those of any other vehicle on the road. The irony of them generally being diabolically bad drivers that show no consideration to other road users is the icing on the cake. I wish each and every one of them, death. Fuck off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: I thought George mainly hitch-hiked everywhere, 'you gotta make with the head'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 These cunts with a green 'P' plates make me laugh. "I've just past my test so please don't be nasty to me". Well you can fuck off. You've passed your test so if you fuck up you can take a cunting like the rest of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 36 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: I thought George mainly hitch-hiked everywhere, 'you gotta make with the head'. George was from the very top drawer. Amazed the UK never took to hm. Him and Lenny Bruce wrote the book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 10, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 47 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: What ethnic origin were the occupants of the diabolically driven vehicle? Why? What’s that got to do with it? Wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 1 minute ago, camberwell gypsy said: These cunts with a green 'P' plates make me laugh. "I've just past my test so please don't be nasty to me". Well you can fuck off. You've passed your test so if you fuck up you can take a cunting like the rest of us. It’s compulsory here. And it’s quite a good laxative seeing green P’s on the Toyota Landcruiser come roaring into your rear view mirror. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 1 minute ago, Last Cunt Standing said: It’s compulsory here. And it’s quite a good laxative seeing green P’s on the Toyota Landcruiser come roaring into your rear view mirror. I dont see the point in them. Is there a time limit on them there? Where is 'there'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 8 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said: George was from the very top drawer. Amazed the UK never took to hm. Him and Lenny Bruce wrote the book. I've not seen much of his stand-up stuff. His appearances in the Jay & Silent Bob films are outstanding though. Especially the Catholic bishop who wants to make the church more appealing to the hoi-polloi, so he comes up with 'The Buddy Jesus'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 It’s basically a way for cops to spot newbies. 2 years split into red and green Ps. No driving after midnight, max speed of 100kph, only one other person in the car, zero blood alcohol, etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 13 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: These cunts with a green 'P' plates make me laugh. "I've just past my test so please don't be nasty to me". Well you can fuck off. You've passed your test so if you fuck up you can take a cunting like the rest of us. Chase them down in a Mad Max, V8 interceptor stylee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: Chase them down in a Mad Max, V8 interceptor stylee. My cousin had a Jensen interceptor. Fuck me it was fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Last Cunt Standing Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: I've not seen much of his stand-up stuff. His appearances in the Jay & Silent Bob films are outstanding though. Especially the Catholic bishop who wants to make the church more appealing to the hoi-polloi, so he comes up with 'The Buddy Jesus'. I’d recommend any of his HBO specials. Back In Town is the best for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 14 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: My cousin had a Jensen interceptor. Fuck me it was fast. For about five minutes until it broke down. They were built by BL monkeys. Apparently they ran out of steering racks for them, so they re-welded the mounts and fitted some Triumph Stag ones instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 2 hours ago, Ape™️ said: I had to drive my daughter to her first hair appointment since lockdown today and during the journey, despite there being nothing behind me, a Vauxhall Zafira decided it was necessary to pull out right in front of me, causing me to brake. I raised my arms in exasperation and was treated to being brake-checked several times, followed by a load of gesticulating and flashing of hazard lights. The moron behind the wheel then proceeded to go off like a lunatic, despite being in a 30 mph limit. In the rear window of the car was a “baby on board” sticker, and the headrests of two child seats were clearly visible. I fucking detest, with a passion so intense it almost consumes my soul, these utter wankers who feel they need to proclaim to the the world that the occupants of their car are in some way more important than those of any other vehicle on the road. The irony of them generally being diabolically bad drivers that show no consideration to other road users is the icing on the cake. I wish each and every one of them, death. Fuck off. I just hope they managed to complete that mobile phone call while dealing with the moron driving behind them. Fuck off, preferably by the side of the road upside-down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 Ironically while out driving today, I pulled out of a side road leaving plenty of space between me and the next car coming only for the fucking idiot to sit on my bumper as the stupid little cunt must have been speeding. So I brake tested the little ball-less wanker a couple of times before leaving the fuck ugly little cretin in my dust. I thought to myself, I bet he has a micro penis and flies model helicopters. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 10, 2020 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 Just now, Cunty BigBollox said: Ironically while out driving today, I pulled out of a side road leaving plenty of space between me and the next car coming only for the fucking idiot to sit on my bumper as the stupid little cunt must have been speeding. So I brake tested the little ball-less wanker a couple of times before leaving the fuck ugly little cretin in my dust. I thought to myself, I bet he has a micro penis and flies model helicopters. Another comedy gem from our resident drunk. I’m sure you do drive exactly like this, especially if the off-licence is about to close. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 10 minutes ago, Ape™️ said: Another comedy gem from our resident drunk. I’m sure you do drive exactly like this, especially if the off-licence is about to close. 'BABYCHAM ON BOARD' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 I think that these babies are quite clever really,so young and yet skateboarding already. Fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 If this was your kid would you have a sticker that said 'Board On Baby'? 'ere all week Again "Fuck Off" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: For about five minutes until it broke down. They were built by BL monkeys. Apparently they ran out of steering racks for them, so they re-welded the mounts and fitted some Triumph Stag ones instead. I think he still has it. Worth a small fortune these days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted July 10, 2020 Report Share Posted July 10, 2020 1 hour ago, Neil said: If this was your kid would you have a sticker that said 'Board On Baby'? 'ere all week Again "Fuck Off" You are a baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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