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  2. I'm betting she used to smear gravy on her fanny and get the dog to lick it off. They have such wonderful sandpapery tongues, dogs.
  3. The open mouth helps with cockle picking. Not always apparently.
  4. But their superhuman strength would be to no avail if their mouth was hanging open (and taking on water) in typical flid stylee.
  5. As a matter of fact I believe in fiction at the best of times.
  6. Thank you your honour. I will have to come up with a real belter of a lie and set of falsehoods for you to expose in the future. I have a false solid gold left bollock.
  7. Thank you. No further questions.
  8. Do they let you have armchairs? I thought you were strapped down by your nurses for the safety of others. The initial two weeks was an estimate anyway as you cannot rely on weather or accuracy of the forecasts. Why can you not accept that I have lived in a harbour town with a small airport most of my life so I may know people with yachts who have friends with small aircraft? Also, FYI, I got my RYA bluewater training passed in my mid twenties, nearly three decades ago.
  9. I'm just flitting between the two threads doing some calculations. Would you mind confirming exactly how many days you planned to stay in St Malo? We all lie, Alf. Bare in mind that I've travelled the world thrice during my membership.. without ever leaving my armchair.
  10. The Chronicles of Fliddick?
  11. He was having a fit while trying to reply, you have to excuse him.
  12. I'm sorry you found it challenging, Frank. Would it help if I rewrite a children's version?
  13. Chronicles of a Wheelchair User. Now fuck off
  14. Every facet of the corrupt shithouse should've been pulled to pieces and sold off privately decades ago. The fact the BBC is self-governing means it'll continue to charge licence payers whatever it feels is necessary to fulfil the huge salaries of its greedy presenters and their agents. Ironically, the one organisation whose purpose is to promote equality seems to have brought about a greater degree of elitism than most private TV companies. Fuck them.
  15. not this shit again
  16. I might get the urge to mug a few fictional old ladies.
  17. If you're reading this, fuck off ding, you stupid dead cunt.
  18. What's a spackers favourite Vin Diesel sci-fi film?
  19. No it isn't, oh fictional farcical one, it is perfectly possible.
  20. reported for spelling "fictional" correctly
  21. Strikes Spack was what I was looking for, but extra points for the other answer.
  22. Today
  23. It is a footballers pub,if that footballer is Justin Fashanu!
  24. The Empire Strikes Spack? Or failing that, Aspack Of The Clones.
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