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Guest DingTheRioja

My nephew today.... (playing with his Lego City Police stuff... it has mini-figures of crooks in stripey tops...)

"the criminals are taking all the tools, they're stealing them all and putting them in the recycling truck"...

My response :- "They must be pikeys ..."..

The in-laws response... a rather strange sideways glance with eyebrows raised that probably meant "we dont want to teach our 3 year old phrases like that incase he blurts it out in public... near some pikeys..."

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Thieving pikey cunts. Nothing funny about that.

Humour is one of those quirky, subjective things.  Many is the time the punters here found something humourous that you did not.  Conversly, you often find humour in material the rest of the world finds horrendous, like referring to people as nazis.  Isn't that the queer duck?  

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Guest judgetwi

Humour is one of those quirky, subjective things.  Many is the time the punters here found something humourous that you did not.  Conversly, you often find humour in material the rest of the world finds horrendous, like referring to people as nazis.  Isn't that the queer duck?  

There's nothing funny about Nazis either. And by the way, i know when when i see one. Ok?

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Guest Bill Stickers

There's nothing funny about Nazis either. And by the way, i know when when i see one. Ok?

When I waive my priority to other drivers on the road, and they give me a wave to say thanks, I give them a sieg heil back. Nobody ever knows, but I certainly have a chuckle each and every time.

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Guest Wizardsleeve

When I waive my priority to other drivers on the road, and they give me a wave to say thanks, I give them a sieg heil back. Nobody ever knows, but I certainly have a chuckle each and every time.

Doesn't make you nazi, really, just a cunt with an eccentric sense of humour.  No law against that......YET!

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Doesn't make you nazi, really, just a cunt with an eccentric sense of humour.  No law against that......YET!

This comment is 2 days overdue. Do you want to say it again or pay the 10p fine. If you don't want to Say it again I'll put it back so somebody else can say it.

 

Edited by camberwell gypsy
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Guest Wizardsleeve

This comment is 2 days overdue. Do you want to say it again or pay the 10p fine. If you don't want to Say it again I'll put it back so somebody else can say it.

 

I shall leave it in your soft, capable loving hands....and you can do what you wish with the comment!  

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  • 4 months later...

I thought this cracking good nom was worth resurrecting as I have just finished reading a piece on Chethams Library in Manchester. Apparently it is the oldest English speaking library in the world , having been opened in 1653 !!.  It does  beg the question of 'why the fuck Manchester  if its English speaking ?'.  Its also becoming quite famous for civil weddings and even gays can legally get married there nowadays.  Its worth a bet that Manky is Chief Librarian , cycling in every morning , tending to the eager publics' needs , and lovingly preserving the colouring in books that his ancestors used.

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Guest nobgobbler
1 hour ago, witheredscrote said:

I thought this cracking good nom was worth resurrecting as I have just finished reading a piece on Chethams Library in Manchester. Apparently it is the oldest English speaking library in the world , having been opened in 1653 !!.  It does  beg the question of 'why the fuck Manchester  if its English speaking ?'.  Its also becoming quite famous for civil weddings and even gays can legally get married there nowadays.  Its worth a bet that Manky is Chief Librarian , cycling in every morning , tending to the eager publics' needs , and lovingly preserving the colouring in books that his ancestors used.

I take a tiny amount of delight when one of these places shuts down. I worked in publishing for a long time and we had to supply free of charge a pile of every book we produced to libraries so that tight cunts could read them for free. It's not even a loss leader, it's never gonna result in a sale. Libraries are a waste of good bricks.

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Guest luke swarm
5 minutes ago, nobgobbler said:

I take a tiny amount of delight when one of these places shuts down. I worked in publishing for a long time and we had to supply free of charge a pile of every book we produced to libraries so that tight cunts could read them for free. It's not even a loss leader, it's never gonna result in a sale. Libraries are a waste of good bricks.

you heartless bitch...where the fuck is Spunkape supposed to go on cold winter days when he does not have enough change for his bedsit gas meter..........talk about not seeing the bigger picture.

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On ‎14‎/‎10‎/‎2015 at 11:25 PM, DingTheRioja said:

My nephew today.... (playing with his Lego City Police stuff... it has mini-figures of crooks in stripey tops...)

"the criminals are taking all the tools, they're stealing them all and putting them in the recycling truck"...

My response :- "They must be pikeys ..."..

The in-laws response... a rather strange sideways glance with eyebrows raised that probably meant "we dont want to teach our 3 year old phrases like that incase he blurts it out in public... near some pikeys..."

He says that near me and he'll get a whack on the arse with a sandal. And his uncle as well.

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Guest nobgobbler
1 hour ago, luke swarm said:

you heartless bitch...where the fuck is Spunkape supposed to go on cold winter days when he does not have enough change for his bedsit gas meter..........talk about not seeing the bigger picture.

Fuck him, it's his own fault. If he was prepared to move up north he could rent Ding's anderson shelter.

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Guest Wizardsleeve
2 hours ago, luke swarm said:

you heartless bitch...where the fuck is Spunkape supposed to go on cold winter days when he does not have enough change for his bedsit gas meter..........talk about not seeing the bigger picture.

Is this a trick question?  Nobody cares where punky goes when it's cold, just as he is not on our gardens or paths. 

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Guest MikeD
3 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Is this a trick question?  Nobody cares where punky goes when it's cold, just as he is not on our gardens or paths. 

At any time, fuck when it's cold.

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Guest DingTheRioja
6 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

He says that near me and he'll get a whack on the arse with a sandal. And his uncle as well.

If Mrs D isn't fast enough to hit me, then you aren't either... pikey!

5 hours ago, nobgobbler said:

Fuck him, it's his own fault. If he was prepared to move up north he could rent Ding's anderson shelter.

Oi, I didn't fucking buy it.... or nick it....

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On 11 October 2015 at 10:32 AM, cuntspotter said:

The judge once made an hilarious posting about a local library that had the copper nicked off the roof ..I think. My local library is still there. Funnily enough, Pontypool public library is a fantastic place......... For Walrus watching.

I repost this.... For auld lang's yne. Judges post was pure fucking gold.

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  • 1 year later...
Guest Lady Penelope
On 12/10/2015 at 9:08 AM, DingTheRioja said:

Those machines intrige me... if tescos cant scan the right thing with a barcode, how come the library machine can get the right books no matter how you stack them in there?

I had to put a book in "The Cupboard" the other day, instead of On The Trolley.... it wasn't a pervy book, but it made me feel like a Special Case having to hide a book....

Roops? You need to take Spooters rights off him for that one for fucks sake...

  1. One of ours is a Yummy Mumsy Mummy about that age.... one of those who really doesn't know she's rather nice...
  2. You could always tell her your a human equivalent to that machine... Sit on me face...I'll guess your weight...
  3. GET OUT OF THE KIDDIES SECTION YOU FUCKING PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!

Classic Ding

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Guest Lady Penelope
On 19/10/2015 at 5:14 PM, judgetwi said:

There's nothing funny about Nazis either. And by the way, i know when when i see one. Ok?

Classic Judge .. who was a Nazi cunt.

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