Jump to content
CUNTS CORNER TWITTER ACCOUNT ID @CuntsCorner ×
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

England Cricket Cuntbreeds


Jake The Muss

Recommended Posts

On 05/08/2017 at 8:44 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

The safas goose is cooked. Even if we only get 250 2nd dig, that'll be more than enough. 

Definitely right there, 177 run win was very good, beating SA at home was always the one thing that would never happen and now it's done, so since 1999 England have won a series against every test nation home and away at least once.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/2/2017 at 11:36 AM, Bill Stickers said:

Apple you stupid boring cunt. I've been roped into the T20 smash at the oval on a Friday. Bunch of cunts from Glamorgan playing a bunch of cunts from Surrey I believe.

Is there anyone in particular worthy of absolute dogs abuse? I plan to be pants-shittingly pissed by about 6pm just so I can tolerate it all. 

Fuck off Bill, you fucking wet fanny. You would be better off playing tiddlywanks with the destitutes at your local butt slamming bar. Go and do one you isolated turd farmer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8 August 2017 at 7:32 AM, applescruff14 said:

Hope that we can win the series against the West Indies as it will give us huge morale for when we head Down Under.

We're a couple of good players away from being a topside. Jennings has to go, stoneman will replace him possibly moving to 3 if haseeb get in the the future. Westley looks a good player but needs more time. Not convinced by malan, maybe hales for the middle order? Stokes looks good enough to bat higher with his patience and technique be they'll be loathed to move him, likewise moeen who should be in the top 6 especially when woakes comes back or they've got the balls to play rashid. We just need to bat boringly at the top and knacker the Aussie quicks out- if we're 250 for 4 after day 1 we'll always get a big score thanks to our lower order.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/9/2017 at 0:28 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

We're a couple of good players away from being a topside. Jennings has to go, stoneman will replace him possibly moving to 3 if haseeb get in the the future. Westley looks a good player but needs more time. Not convinced by malan, maybe hales for the middle order? Stokes looks good enough to bat higher with his patience and technique be they'll be loathed to move him, likewise moeen who should be in the top 6 especially when woakes comes back or they've got the balls to play rashid. We just need to bat boringly at the top and knacker the Aussie quicks out- if we're 250 for 4 after day 1 we'll always get a big score thanks to our lower order.  

Jennings is a useless cunt, don't know why he is in the side. the cuntbrain only averages 35 in first class cricket in 89 games (piss poor for an opener) time to ditch the pile of shit. I would bring hales back at five and i hope Root stays at four, can't think of any test quality openers to partner Cook which is a bit worrying. The middle order is sound enough and the bowing attack is top drawer. Roland Jones looks like a test player to add to the already quality bowing with Anderson, Broad, Stokes, Woakes and Ali. Give Westley and Malan a couple more games to see if they're up to it but going by their first class averages...i don't reckon they will be. My 12 would be Cook, Westley,  malan, Root, Hales, Stokes, Bairstow, Ali, Woakes, Roland Jones, Broad, Anderson. and possibly Jos Butler in the mix along with Rashid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, Fender777 said:

Jennings is a useless cunt, don't know why he is in the side. the cuntbrain only averages 35 in first class cricket in 89 games (piss poor for an opener) time to ditch the pile of shit. I would bring hales back at five and i hope Root stays at four, can't think of any test quality openers to partner Cook which is a bit worrying. The middle order is sound enough and the bowing attack is top drawer. Roland Jones looks like a test player to add to the already quality bowing with Anderson, Broad, Stokes, Woakes and Ali. Give Westley and Malan a couple more games to see if they're up to it but going by their first class averages...i don't reckon they will be. My 12 would be Cook, Westley,  malan, Root, Hales, Stokes, Bairstow, Ali, Woakes, Roland Jones, Broad, Anderson. and possibly Jos Butler in the mix along with Rashid.

Considering Jennings played most of his inns at Durham on the most bowler friendly pitch out there, his average isn't bad! Likewise stoneman (moved to Surrey from Durham) who must surely get a go for easy runs against the West Indies thus providing no prep for the ashes. Steve smith and David Warner are both utter cunts and I hope they get themselves out to shit balls when looking in great nick. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Lady Penelope
On 08/08/2017 at 7:32 AM, applescruff14 said:

Hope that we can win the series against the West Indies as it will give us huge morale for when we head Down Under.

You are like a breath of fresh hair in here Apple

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/11/2017 at 6:59 AM, Stubby Pecker said:

Considering Jennings played most of his inns at Durham on the most bowler friendly pitch out there, his average isn't bad! Likewise stoneman (moved to Surrey from Durham) who must surely get a go for easy runs against the West Indies thus providing no prep for the ashes. Steve smith and David Warner are both utter cunts and I hope they get themselves out to shit balls when looking in great nick. 

Can't agree with you on the Jennings debate Pecker, any top quality test batsman will average over 40 even on bowler friendly pitches and besides he has played on good batting wickets and still done next to fuck all, time for him to fuck off and learn his trade better,  then maybe come back into the fold. Nothing against Steve Smith...well apart from him being a kangaroo shagger , he is a top quality player at the top of his game. Need to get at that cuntbrain as soon as he steps to the wicket, but Warner is an outright top class cuntbreed who needs to have his smug bonce caved in with a victorian iron then have his kneecaps smashed with my new prototype flaying claw hammer, followed up with a jolly good whack to his cunthead with my medieval maul.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, Fender777 said:

Can't agree with you on the Jennings debate Pecker, any top quality test batsman will average over 40 even on bowler friendly pitches and besides he has played on good batting wickets and still done next to fuck all, time for him to fuck off and learn his trade better,  then maybe come back into the fold. Nothing against Steve Smith...well apart from him being a kangaroo shagger , he is a top quality player at the top of his game. Need to get at that cuntbrain as soon as he steps to the wicket, but Warner is an outright top class cuntbreed who needs to have his smug bonce caved in with a victorian iron then have his kneecaps smashed with my new prototype flaying claw hammer, followed up with a jolly good whack to his cunthead with my medieval maul.

We'll take 3 openers to oz so cook and 2 from Jennings, Stoneman and haseeb. If stoney gets runs against windies (.good luck with the pink ball and a wet wicket) it'll be a shoot between the other 2 as to who makes more runs for their county starting now. Looks like they might play woakes instead of malan, not that we need an extra bowler for their shite batting line up but I bet he gets more runs. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

We'll take 3 openers to oz so cook and 2 from Jennings, Stoneman and haseeb. If stoney gets runs against windies (.good luck with the pink ball and a wet wicket) it'll be a shoot between the other 2 as to who makes more runs for their county starting now. Looks like they might play woakes instead of malan, not that we need an extra bowler for their shite batting line up but I bet he gets more runs. 

The Windies shouldn't be a problem, just a few warm up games for the Aussie's. I hope Haseeb gets the nod as he looks like he could be test quality, only 20 and already has something about him and will only learn and get better the more he is in the side.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

58 minutes ago, Fender777 said:

The Windies shouldn't be a problem, just a few warm up games for the Aussie's. I hope Haseeb gets the nod as he looks like he could be test quality, only 20 and already has something about him and will only learn and get better the more he is in the side.

I agree. If he'd have got any runs early season he'd have played against the safas, but he bust his hand (I think) against early on. He played some good knocks in India and he's a gutsy little cunt to do it with a broken finger. We need guys with some metal who can bat a whole session a piss those convict wankers right off. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 8/14/2017 at 8:47 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

I agree. If he'd have got any runs early season he'd have played against the safas, but he bust his hand (I think) against early on. He played some good knocks in India and he's a gutsy little cunt to do it with a broken finger. We need guys with some metal who can bat a whole session a piss those convict wankers right off. 

Early days but it looks like England will run through the Windies with little trouble, can't think of any top class players they have at the moment, Roston Chase is probably their best player but still shouldn't be any problems.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

25 minutes ago, Fender777 said:

Early days but it looks like England will run through the Windies with little trouble, can't think of any top class players they have at the moment, Roston Chase is probably their best player but still shouldn't be any problems.

We should crush them within 4 days, shame thinking of the great sides they had of yesteryear. What worries me if in these 3 tests neither stoneman, westley or malan score any runs? Time to move moeen and Bairstow into the top 6 and they'll just have to rein in the shots until they're properly in.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 09/08/2017 at 0:28 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

We're a couple of good players away from being a topside. Jennings has to go, stoneman will replace him possibly moving to 3 if haseeb get in the the future. Westley looks a good player but needs more time. Not convinced by malan, maybe hales for the middle order? Stokes looks good enough to bat higher with his patience and technique be they'll be loathed to move him, likewise moeen who should be in the top 6 especially when woakes comes back or they've got the balls to play rashid. We just need to bat boringly at the top and knacker the Aussie quicks out- if we're 250 for 4 after day 1 we'll always get a big score thanks to our lower order.  

The wickets did crumble yesterday, I think 5-0 to Australia, just can't see it any other way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 18/08/2017 at 0:17 AM, Stubby Pecker said:

We should crush them within 4 days, shame thinking of the great sides they had of yesteryear. What worries me if in these 3 tests neither stoneman, westley or malan score any runs? Time to move moeen and Bairstow into the top 6 and they'll just have to rein in the shots until they're properly in.

Good 65 from Malan but still having trouble with this Westley but Stoneman is early days.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 18/08/2017 at 0:17 AM, Stubby Pecker said:

We should crush them within 4 days, shame thinking of the great sides they had of yesteryear. What worries me if in these 3 tests neither stoneman, westley or malan score any runs? Time to move moeen and Bairstow into the top 6 and they'll just have to rein in the shots until they're properly in.

I think West Indies will score over 400 in this innings, looking like a draw.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Lady Penelope
2 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

Good 65 from Malan but still having trouble with this Westley but Stoneman is early days.

I didn't know that Matalan played cricket.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 14/08/2017 at 8:47 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

I agree. If he'd have got any runs early season he'd have played against the safas, but he bust his hand (I think) against early on. He played some good knocks in India and he's a gutsy little cunt to do it with a broken finger. We need guys with some metal who can bat a whole session a piss those convict wankers right off. 

I just think Australia will be too strong no matter what team we play, I'm sticking with 5-0.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 14/08/2017 at 7:49 PM, Fender777 said:

The Windies shouldn't be a problem, just a few warm up games for the Aussie's. I hope Haseeb gets the nod as he looks like he could be test quality, only 20 and already has something about him and will only learn and get better the more he is in the side.

I'm never in favour of enforcing the follow on:

1894:

 Aus: 586 & 166

Eng: 325 & 437

England won by 10 runs

1981:

Aus: 401/9d & 111

Eng: 174 & 356

England won by 18 runs

2001:

Aus: 445 & 212

Ind: 171 & 657/7d

India won by 171 runs

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Alfie Noakes
2 hours ago, applescruff14 said:

I just think Australia will be too strong no matter what team we play, I'm sticking with 5-0.

Have you ever had a sense of hope? Cheer up man.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...