England Cricket Cuntbreeds

[applescruff14]

On 18/08/2017 at 0:17 AM, Stubby Pecker said:

We should crush them within 4 days, shame thinking of the great sides they had of yesteryear. What worries me if in these 3 tests neither stoneman, westley or malan score any runs? Time to move moeen and Bairstow into the top 6 and they'll just have to rein in the shots until they're properly in.

Crushed them in less than 3 and even lost the whole of the last session on day 2, didn't expect West Indies to crumble like that.

[PANZER MURPHY]

Cricket. ..cunts game really 

Panzerknacker 

[Guest Ollyboro]

1 hour ago, applescruff14 said:

Crushed them in less than 3 and even lost the whole of the last session on day 2, didn't expect West Indies to crumble like that.

I wouldn't go around suggesting that the result was due to the inherent superiority of the white man, Apple. Rick will go absolutely fucking ballistic.

[Stubby Pecker]

54 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said:

Cricket. ..cunts game really 

Panzerknacker 

You won't say that when Ireland play they're first test matches, possibly next summer. They would probably beat this windies team. Malcolm Marshal would be turning in him grave. Anyways, the current England one day captain is a trotter, Eion Morgan

[applescruff14]

On 09/08/2017 at 0:28 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

We're a couple of good players away from being a topside. Jennings has to go, stoneman will replace him possibly moving to 3 if haseeb get in the the future. Westley looks a good player but needs more time. Not convinced by malan, maybe hales for the middle order? Stokes looks good enough to bat higher with his patience and technique be they'll be loathed to move him, likewise moeen who should be in the top 6 especially when woakes comes back or they've got the balls to play rashid. We just need to bat boringly at the top and knacker the Aussie quicks out- if we're 250 for 4 after day 1 we'll always get a big score thanks to our lower order.  

This test isn't going that well at the moment but hopefully Stokes can get his century. Wickets tumbling and also dropped catches, can see a first innings deficit here.

[applescruff14]

On 09/08/2017 at 0:28 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

We're a couple of good players away from being a topside. Jennings has to go, stoneman will replace him possibly moving to 3 if haseeb get in the the future. Westley looks a good player but needs more time. Not convinced by malan, maybe hales for the middle order? Stokes looks good enough to bat higher with his patience and technique be they'll be loathed to move him, likewise moeen who should be in the top 6 especially when woakes comes back or they've got the balls to play rashid. We just need to bat boringly at the top and knacker the Aussie quicks out- if we're 250 for 4 after day 1 we'll always get a big score thanks to our lower order.  

Going to lose this current test, will get hammered in Australia.

[applescruff14]

On 09/08/2017 at 0:28 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

We're a couple of good players away from being a topside. Jennings has to go, stoneman will replace him possibly moving to 3 if haseeb get in the the future. Westley looks a good player but needs more time. Not convinced by malan, maybe hales for the middle order? Stokes looks good enough to bat higher with his patience and technique be they'll be loathed to move him, likewise moeen who should be in the top 6 especially when woakes comes back or they've got the balls to play rashid. We just need to bat boringly at the top and knacker the Aussie quicks out- if we're 250 for 4 after day 1 we'll always get a big score thanks to our lower order.  

We start the day technically 2/3 but I think West Indies will only need to chase less than 100, I'm predicting an 8 wicket defeat. Be our first home test defeat against West Indies for 6282 days baring a miracle.

Bangladesh are giving Australia a torrid time in their current test match but Australia will find a way of winning.

[applescruff14]

On 11/08/2017 at 1:50 AM, Fender777 said:

Jennings is a useless cunt, don't know why he is in the side. the cuntbrain only averages 35 in first class cricket in 89 games (piss poor for an opener) time to ditch the pile of shit. I would bring hales back at five and i hope Root stays at four, can't think of any test quality openers to partner Cook which is a bit worrying. The middle order is sound enough and the bowing attack is top drawer. Roland Jones looks like a test player to add to the already quality bowing with Anderson, Broad, Stokes, Woakes and Ali. Give Westley and Malan a couple more games to see if they're up to it but going by their first class averages...i don't reckon they will be. My 12 would be Cook, Westley,  malan, Root, Hales, Stokes, Bairstow, Ali, Woakes, Roland Jones, Broad, Anderson. and possibly Jos Butler in the mix along with Rashid.

That was the highest England test innings ever without a century beating the 477/9d against SA in 1994 at the same ground and the fourth highest overall. I would not have declared though. 

[Stubby Pecker]

4 hours ago, applescruff14 said:

That was the highest England test innings ever without a century beating the 477/9d against SA in 1994 at the same ground and the fourth highest overall. I would not have declared though. 

I say drop westley who neither has the technique nor, crucially the temperament, pick Rashid and move everyone up the order. Woakes at 9 looks solid and mo at 8 is crazy. 

If windies get the runs then fairplay. 

Aussies will need to chase at least 250 on a raging turner. They can't play seam and they can't play spin. Hope they loose the series followed by a round sackings, fuck em. 

[Bubba C]

Would it be possible to take this gay as fuck thread to a dump site where the aim of the game is to be unbelievably boring as fuck, and perhaps not post it on a site designed to name and shame the cunts of the world?

And please don't think this is a harsh review of this nom, it pisses all over the 15 music exchanges currently polluting the site. 

[applescruff14]

13 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I say drop westley who neither has the technique nor, crucially the temperament, pick Rashid and move everyone up the order. Woakes at 9 looks solid and mo at 8 is crazy. 

If windies get the runs then fairplay. 

Aussies will need to chase at least 250 on a raging turner. They can't play seam and they can't play spin. Hope they loose the series followed by a round sackings, fuck em. 

They seem to be putting a spurt on after a bad start, just can't see Bangladesh bowling them out twice.

[applescruff14]

19 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I say drop westley who neither has the technique nor, crucially the temperament, pick Rashid and move everyone up the order. Woakes at 9 looks solid and mo at 8 is crazy. 

If windies get the runs then fairplay. 

Aussies will need to chase at least 250 on a raging turner. They can't play seam and they can't play spin. Hope they loose the series followed by a round sackings, fuck em. 

Going to lose this test but that was some catch by the substitute fielder.

[applescruff14]

On 28/08/2017 at 10:19 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

I say drop westley who neither has the technique nor, crucially the temperament, pick Rashid and move everyone up the order. Woakes at 9 looks solid and mo at 8 is crazy. 

If windies get the runs then fairplay. 

Aussies will need to chase at least 250 on a raging turner. They can't play seam and they can't play spin. Hope they loose the series followed by a round sackings, fuck em. 

Mistakes were made by dropping Roland-Jones and declaring, just didn't even look like taking wickets in that innings, West Indies were just equal to everything. Probably lose the last test and head to Australia with a lost series behind us.

[applescruff14]

On 28/08/2017 at 10:19 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

I say drop westley who neither has the technique nor, crucially the temperament, pick Rashid and move everyone up the order. Woakes at 9 looks solid and mo at 8 is crazy. 

If windies get the runs then fairplay. 

Aussies will need to chase at least 250 on a raging turner. They can't play seam and they can't play spin. Hope they loose the series followed by a round sackings, fuck em. 

Must needed series win to take to Australia, no more tests now until the Ashes. Approximately in 99 days the Ashes will be gone.

[Witheredscrote]

10 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

Must needed series win to take to Australia, no more tests now until the Ashes. Approximately in 99 days the Ashes will be gone.

So will Frank's ashes. Stickers is selling them on Ebay

[Stubby Pecker]

On 9 September 2017 at 4:25 PM, applescruff14 said:

Must needed series win to take to Australia, no more tests now until the Ashes. Approximately in 99 days the Ashes will be gone.

Never mind all the other shite noms and the sausagers who perpetuate them, the real issue is the utter dross on their way down under and the boy stokesys crunching right hook that landed square on the chin of fellow piss head, albeit a bottle wielding one.

[applescruff14]

On 28/09/2017 at 10:25 PM, Stubby Pecker said:

Never mind all the other shite noms and the sausagers who perpetuate them, the real issue is the utter dross on their way down under and the boy stokesys crunching right hook that landed square on the chin of fellow piss head, albeit a bottle wielding one.

The series is going to finish 5-0 to Australia,  we have no proper batting line up and all this Ben Stokes thing going on. 

[Stubby Pecker]

7 minutes ago, applescruff14 said:

The series is going to finish 5-0 to Australia,  we have no proper batting line up and all this Ben Stokes thing going on. 

Apple you dull cunt, where the fuck. 

Ive got a feeling the boy stokes will make the trip. Surely the lawyers are trying to either pay off the piss head a knocked out cold with an impressive right hook or get the court case postponed till the spring. Whether he can still perform is another matter. 

As for the other selections-dross in the form of crane (can't even get into his county side!)

We're fucked unless our top players don't perform.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

1 hour ago, applescruff14 said:

The series is going to finish 5-0 to Australia,  we have no proper batting line up and all this Ben Stokes thing going on. 

Good Evening Apple

[applescruff14]

5 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Apple you dull cunt, where the fuck. 

Ive got a feeling the boy stokes will make the trip. Surely the lawyers are trying to either pay off the piss head a knocked out cold with an impressive right hook or get the court case postponed till the spring. Whether he can still perform is another matter. 

As for the other selections-dross in the form of crane (can't even get into his county side!)

We're fucked unless our top players don't perform.

It's going to be 5-0 whether Stokes plays or not,  we have the wrong captain and we still don't have an opening batsman that we can rely on and our batting line up is mediocre and Ali will get smacked all over the place. One thing is for sure I won't be going to work in my pants,  might not even have a job in January anyway. 

[applescruff14]

5 hours ago, Lady Penelope said:

Good Evening Apple

Hi

[Jiggerycock]

7 hours ago, applescruff14 said:

It's going to be 5-0 whether Stokes plays or not,  we have the wrong captain and we still don't have an opening batsman that we can rely on and our batting line up is mediocre and Ali will get smacked all over the place. One thing is for sure I won't be going to work in my pants,  might not even have a job in January anyway. 

It's a funny one this.

Cook, Root, Stokes (if he goes), Ali, Bairstow, Broad (with his dander up) and Anderson and you've got half a bloody decent side there. If they have the nouse to play Foakes as a wickie / batsman and shove Bairstow up the order (to three?) then that's another problem solved. You just need some 'nearly' players to step up to the mark and we'd be competitive.

Of course, this all depends on them all staying fit , Stokes making the trip and more 'what-iffery' than a Reamainder arguing against Brexit.

However, I'm not convinced Australia are all that, after their piss-poor efforts in Bangladesh, even on their own manor.....

[Stubby Pecker]

39 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

It's a funny one this.

Cook, Root, Stokes (if he goes), Ali, Bairstow, Broad (with his dander up) and Anderson and you've got half a bloody decent side there. If they have the nouse to play Foakes as a wickie / batsman and shove Bairstow up the order (to three?) then that's another problem solved. You just need some 'nearly' players to step up to the mark and we'd be competitive.

Of course, this all depends on them all staying fit , Stokes making the trip and more 'what-iffery' than a Reamainder arguing against Brexit.

However, I'm not convinced Australia are all that, after their piss-poor efforts in Bangladesh, even on their own manor.....

Add woakes to that bunch as we'll be he needs to bowl fast at skilfully as it ain't going to zip about off the seem at 83 mph. Stoneman looks pretty solid, malan shite, balance even shiter. 

True the Aussie shitcunts have a poor side too but we've got to compete on day one of the first test or we're fucked big time, of we can take it to them they'll crumble.

Warner is beyond cunting, I hate him from the blackness of my evil soul

[Jiggerycock]

23 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Add woakes to that bunch as we'll be he needs to bowl fast at skilfully as it ain't going to zip about off the seem at 83 mph. Stoneman looks pretty solid, malan shite, balance even shiter. 

True the Aussie shitcunts have a poor side too but we've got to compete on day one of the first test or we're fucked big time, of we can take it to them they'll crumble.

Warner is beyond cunting, I hate him from the blackness of my evil soul

Warner has taken up the role of pantomime Ocker gobshite, from pretty stiff competition.

You could be absolutely right. We have a 'Harmison' moment from Ball One, Day One and it all goes downhill faster than a Glaswegian bin man on Christmas Eve. That appears to be the received wisdom (apart from one-eyed cunts like Botham who'd predict a 5-0 England win if we fielded a team of 11 Jade Dernbaches).

I just wouldn't be surprised if it was closer than is being predicted.

[applescruff14]

17 hours ago, Jiggerycock said:

It's a funny one this.

Cook, Root, Stokes (if he goes), Ali, Bairstow, Broad (with his dander up) and Anderson and you've got half a bloody decent side there. If they have the nouse to play Foakes as a wickie / batsman and shove Bairstow up the order (to three?) then that's another problem solved. You just need some 'nearly' players to step up to the mark and we'd be competitive.

Of course, this all depends on them all staying fit , Stokes making the trip and more 'what-iffery' than a Reamainder arguing against Brexit.

However, I'm not convinced Australia are all that, after their piss-poor efforts in Bangladesh, even on their own manor.....

We also lost a test in Bangladesh and were only 20 odd runs from losing the series 2-0 and then we got hammered in India, Australia have faired better on the sub-continent this year than we did last. I think the series will finish 5-0 but one things for sure if England do win the series I will be the happiest person on Earth although it means going to work in just my pants, that's if I still have a job. England winning the Ashes in Australia has happened twice in my lifetime and unexpected things do happen such as seeing that women I spoke to on a dating site back in 2014  in the flesh the other day but comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.