Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 To hold a twenty minute service a couple of cars, a wooden box and gas for a furnace £5000.00 that is with no frills, no minister as non religious. You fucking bunch of cunts profitting massively on the misery of mourning people. Fuck you all and fuck Worthing Crematorium. Cunts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 7 minutes ago, Noakes said: To hold a twenty minute service a couple of cars, a wooden box and gas for a furnace £5000.00 that is with no frills, no minister as non religious. You fucking bunch of cunts profitting massively on the misery of mourning people. Fuck you all and fuck Wortning Crematorium. Cunts! It's a fucking disgrace, Alf. Imagine if you did have a minister, though, and you had to pay for the service based upon the amount of words in it. Then imagine your consternation if Tata fucking Steely cunt Dan turned up in his robes with a twenty foot long scroll. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 14 minutes ago, Decimus said: It's a fucking disgrace, Alf. Imagine if you did have a minister, though, and you had to pay for the service based upon the amount of words in it. Then imagine your consternation if Tata fucking Steely cunt Dan turned up in his robes with a twenty foot long scroll. I am an agnostic minister for the Church of No God I speak for free. Won't be able to say cunt though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 35 minutes ago, Noakes said: To hold a twenty minute service a couple of cars, a wooden box and gas for a furnace £5000.00 that is with no frills, no minister as non religious. You fucking bunch of cunts profitting massively on the misery of mourning people. Fuck you all and fuck Worthing Crematorium. Cunts! If the body is still warm can it be classed as necrophilia? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 18 minutes ago, Noakes said: am a bit I am an agnostic minister for the Church of No God I speak for free. Won't be able to say cunt though! Funeral costs are a fucking liberty and so I feel for you Alf. I'd help you out myself, but I'm autopsy-turvy right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 3 minutes ago, Gurt said: If the body is still warm can it be classed as necrophilia? Cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 52 minutes ago, Gurt said: If the body is still warm can it be classed as necrophilia? Usually why, do you have experience in this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 55 minutes ago, Gurt said: If the body is still warm can it be classed as necrophilia? Disgusting cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 3, 2017 Report Share Posted February 3, 2017 4 hours ago, Gurt said: If the body is still warm can it be classed as necrophilia? Can what be? Only if you fuck whatever it is, and it is dead which once was alive, and you probably would. You'll never get any living hole Gurt. Nothing that has a nose and can run. PS, touching your forefinger to your thumb (if you have thumbs), is not a true hole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 I don't care what happens when I go. Just shove me in the nearest hole, thats good enough for the likes of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I don't care what happens when I go. Just shove me in the nearest hole, thats good enough for the likes of me. Cunts Corner it is then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 7 hours ago, Gurt said: If the body is still warm can it be classed as necrophilia? Frank is a masochist a necrophilia and an animal fucker,. As to why he's always flogging a dead horse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 31 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I don't care what happens when I go. Just shove me in the nearest hole, thats good enough for the likes of me. Don't be too hasty. See above post. You don't care if that hole is Gurts front porch, that he may hump your mouldering remains into a sickly paste over a year or two? To be sure, it's not everyone's idea of heaven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 I love a good funeral. It's a nice day out, and being in close proximity to crying women usually gives me a boner. And you get a cup of tea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 14 hours ago, Decimus said: It's a fucking disgrace, Alf. Imagine if you did have a minister, though, and you had to pay for the service based upon the amount of words in it. Then imagine your consternation if Tata fucking Steely cunt Dan turned up in his robes with a twenty foot long scroll. There are these "woodland burials" I think that cost below £1000. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 https://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/jun/28/funeral-die-low-cost-options http://www.1900s.org.uk/1900s-funerals-cost.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 16 hours ago, Gurt said: If the body is still warm can it be classed as necrophilia? necrophilia is dead boring Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 25 minutes ago, Neil said: necrophilia is dead boring The old ones are the best, except that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 3 hours ago, Lady Penelope said: There are these "woodland burials" I think that cost below £1000. I am going to be buried at sea just to fuck my family off. I wish frank would bury himself at sea in his leaking sieve of a boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 17 hours ago, Noakes said: I am an agnostic minister for the Church of No God I speak for free. Won't be able to say cunt though! You'd be welcome to say cunt at Decs' funeral, it's probably the only thing you'd need to say then fuck off to the celebration, I mean wake, sharpish before anyone else gets to the free bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 18 hours ago, Noakes said: To hold a twenty minute service a couple of cars, a wooden box and gas for a furnace £5000.00 that is with no frills, no minister as non religious. You fucking bunch of cunts profitting massively on the misery of mourning people. Fuck you all and fuck Worthing Crematorium. Cunts! I buy my funerals from Fortnum and Mason. Too bad that you can only afford to throw your dead relatives into an unmarked paupers grave in the dead of the night. tried selling them to the dog food factory instead? Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 Pyres are the way to go. I tell people I'm a worshipper of the old Norse gods, but really I just like setting dead people on fire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 Just now, Cuntybaws said: Pyres are the way to go. I tell people I'm a worshipper of the old Norse gods, but really I just like setting dead people on fire. Nah. Chopped into sections and left a the top of a plateau somewhere for vultures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 2 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Nah. Chopped into sections and left a the top of a plateau somewhere for vultures. Sadly there are no vultures where I live, although some of the pigeons are a bit on the angry side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted February 4, 2017 Report Share Posted February 4, 2017 It is is rather obscene to charge 5k to dispose of something biodegradeable and smaller than say a fridge freezer, non biofegradeable, which Decs will have uplifted for you for 70 quid. Further ridiculousness: the human body is 80% water, so it is costing 4K to get rid of some pesky water. Last time I took a piss it was free. Basically, for a down payment of £799.99, plus vat, each, id be happy to dispose of your useless cadavers, with true respect. Simply flatten them with a huge mallet, and hang you on lines in my woodshed to dehydrate. After 3 months id grind the lot to dust in a concrete mixer, job done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.