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Every Southern Cunt with a steering wheel in their hands


Guest Northern Cunt

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Guest Northern Cunt

Having lived in many parts of this soon-to-be-gloriously-independent-again Toilet, I feel I must point out to all my fellow Northern tossers, that you just don't realise how fucking lucky you are.
As what would once have been called a Missionary (or Invading Hor)  ((smaller than a complete Horde)) I have had the misfortune to dwell amongst these piss-drinking flap-slime licking collection of Southern Jessie cunts for a few years now.  Stupid jobs aside (I've got one of those and it pays a fuckin fortune . . . where's me Wad?) - quite simply the Cunts cannot drive.  Whichever twat decided to put driving licences on the shelves of Waitrose with the Gluten-free goods needs his piles sorting with a fucking brazing torch.  Their Driving Charter reads something like this:

1.  Don't ever drive at more than 10mph BELOW the actual speed limit.
2.  Never use the handbrake - how the fuck are you going to blind the poor cunt behind you with your vastly over-powered LED brake searchlights if you don't sit forever at traffics lights with your Cunting foot on the brake?
3.  Stop in the motorway MIDDLE LANE next to a solid line of stationary traffic and wait for the soppy cunt trapped behind you to be wiped out by that HGV.  After all : you're not looking so it can't hurt you, you stupid Fucking Bitch CUNT.
4.  Do let that murderous oik who just overtook you for blasting along at 20mph know how rude he is by flashing your lights and gesticulating.  Pointless immediately sending him a choice Tweet as the ignorant twat probably can't read. Always remember mirrors and indicators are for Poor People who cannot use The Force.
5.  Southern Jessie HGV driving CUNTS are to at all times disregard any '7.5T' restriction signs and do your utmost to use at least 18" of the other carriageway on bends etc - after all there may just be a Northern Cunt in the other vehicle.
6.  Try to ensure you join the 'I am a Stupid Cunt' rally on the M25 Car Park at least twice a day.
7.  Ensure that you prolong and elongate the stationary mile of traffic trying to get off the motorway by not moving up the slip road until you have AT LEAST 20 car lengths clear in front.  That way you can be a totally LAZY FUCKING FUCKWIT SLIME SUCKING CUNT and just creep along in first gear without having to do that 'poor person' manoever : brake.  If you do : remember Point 2.
8.  Remember : the reason you bought a Merc / BM / Audi is because God granted You the divine right to the outside lane.
9.  If you are an immigrant / taxi driver / poor person : your divine position is the Middle Lane.  You can take your nap there.
10.  Should you have the misfortune to venture into 'The North' please remember that the M60 is just like the M25 - except that the dipshit northern fucking monkeys who use that one are even fucking Thicker than you are you STUPID CUNT.

This is only page 1, apparently, but somebody heard my accent so I had to stop reading immediately in case they realised I could.  Cunts.

 

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15 minutes ago, Northern Cunt said:

Having lived in many parts of this soon-to-be-gloriously-independent-again Toilet, I feel I must point out to all my fellow Northern tossers, that you just don't realise how fucking lucky you are.
As what would once have been called a Missionary (or Invading Hor)  ((smaller than a complete Horde)) I have had the misfortune to dwell amongst these piss-drinking flap-slime licking collection of Southern Jessie cunts for a few years now.  Stupid jobs aside (I've got one of those and it pays a fuckin fortune . . . where's me Wad?) - quite simply the Cunts cannot drive.  Whichever twat decided to put driving licences on the shelves of Waitrose with the Gluten-free goods needs his piles sorting with a fucking brazing torch.  Their Driving Charter reads something like this:

1.  Don't ever drive at more than 10mph BELOW the actual speed limit.
2.  Never use the handbrake - how the fuck are you going to blind the poor cunt behind you with your vastly over-powered LED brake searchlights if you don't sit forever at traffics lights with your Cunting foot on the brake?
3.  Stop in the motorway MIDDLE LANE next to a solid line of stationary traffic and wait for the soppy cunt trapped behind you to be wiped out by that HGV.  After all : you're not looking so it can't hurt you, you stupid Fucking Bitch CUNT.
4.  Do let that murderous oik who just overtook you for blasting along at 20mph know how rude he is by flashing your lights and gesticulating.  Pointless immediately sending him a choice Tweet as the ignorant twat probably can't read. Always remember mirrors and indicators are for Poor People who cannot use The Force.
5.  Southern Jessie HGV driving CUNTS are to at all times disregard any '7.5T' restriction signs and do your utmost to use at least 18" of the other carriageway on bends etc - after all there may just be a Northern Cunt in the other vehicle.
6.  Try to ensure you join the 'I am a Stupid Cunt' rally on the M25 Car Park at least twice a day.
7.  Ensure that you prolong and elongate the stationary mile of traffic trying to get off the motorway by not moving up the slip road until you have AT LEAST 20 car lengths clear in front.  That way you can be a totally LAZY FUCKING FUCKWIT SLIME SUCKING CUNT and just creep along in first gear without having to do that 'poor person' manoever : brake.  If you do : remember Point 2.
8.  Remember : the reason you bought a Merc / BM / Audi is because God granted You the divine right to the outside lane.
9.  If you are an immigrant / taxi driver / poor person : your divine position is the Middle Lane.  You can take your nap there.
10.  Should you have the misfortune to venture into 'The North' please remember that the M60 is just like the M25 - except that the dipshit northern fucking monkeys who use that one are even fucking Thicker than you are you STUPID CUNT.

This is only page 1, apparently, but somebody heard my accent so I had to stop reading immediately in case they realised I could.  Cunts.

 

Like Dan on speed and with a severe head injury.

Speaking of Dan, I hope that he doesn't reply to you on this, I'm not sure that the site servers could handle it.

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Guest Alfie Noakes

We have enough whinging Northern fucktards complaining about anything more sophisticated than black pudding, saying how great their northern piss water beer is and slagging off their betters from down South. Now go and get a nice piece of rope, look up how to make a "forbidden knot", do one and use it quickly on yourself to end your miserable existence you bottom feeding pig fucker.

You are wasting our time and yours, fucking kill yourself.

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Guest Northern Cunt
4 minutes ago, Noakes said:

We have enough whinging Northern fucktards complaining about anything more sophisticated than black pudding, saying how great their northern piss water beer is and slagging off their betters from down South. Now go and get a nice piece of rope, look up how to make a "forbidden knot", do one and use it quickly on yourself to end your miserable existence you bottom feeding pig fucker.

You are wasting our time and yours, fucking kill yourself.

So, apart from me fucking your girlfriend, you agree on the Driving thing then?

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Guest Alfie Noakes
7 minutes ago, Northern Cunt said:

So, apart from me fucking your girlfriend, you agree on the Driving thing then?

She's a dog not a pig. That is because she isn't Northern, where they are dogs and pigs at the same time.

I think irresponsible drivers like you should hand your license back in. 

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On 11/02/2017 at 4:32 PM, Northern Cunt said:

Having lived in many parts of this soon-to-be-gloriously-independent-again Toilet, I feel I must point out to all my fellow Northern tossers, that you just don't realise how fucking lucky you are.
As what would once have been called a Missionary (or Invading Hor)  ((smaller than a complete Horde)) I have had the misfortune to dwell amongst these piss-drinking flap-slime licking collection of Southern Jessie cunts for a few years now.  Stupid jobs aside (I've got one of those and it pays a fuckin fortune . . . where's me Wad?) - quite simply the Cunts cannot drive.  Whichever twat decided to put driving licences on the shelves of Waitrose with the Gluten-free goods needs his piles sorting with a fucking brazing torch.  Their Driving Charter reads something like this:

1.  Don't ever drive at more than 10mph BELOW the actual speed limit.
2.  Never use the handbrake - how the fuck are you going to blind the poor cunt behind you with your vastly over-powered LED brake searchlights if you don't sit forever at traffics lights with your Cunting foot on the brake?
3.  Stop in the motorway MIDDLE LANE next to a solid line of stationary traffic and wait for the soppy cunt trapped behind you to be wiped out by that HGV.  After all : you're not looking so it can't hurt you, you stupid Fucking Bitch CUNT.
4.  Do let that murderous oik who just overtook you for blasting along at 20mph know how rude he is by flashing your lights and gesticulating.  Pointless immediately sending him a choice Tweet as the ignorant twat probably can't read. Always remember mirrors and indicators are for Poor People who cannot use The Force.
5.  Southern Jessie HGV driving CUNTS are to at all times disregard any '7.5T' restriction signs and do your utmost to use at least 18" of the other carriageway on bends etc - after all there may just be a Northern Cunt in the other vehicle.
6.  Try to ensure you join the 'I am a Stupid Cunt' rally on the M25 Car Park at least twice a day.
7.  Ensure that you prolong and elongate the stationary mile of traffic trying to get off the motorway by not moving up the slip road until you have AT LEAST 20 car lengths clear in front.  That way you can be a totally LAZY FUCKING FUCKWIT SLIME SUCKING CUNT and just creep along in first gear without having to do that 'poor person' manoever : brake.  If you do : remember Point 2.
8.  Remember : the reason you bought a Merc / BM / Audi is because God granted You the divine right to the outside lane.
9.  If you are an immigrant / taxi driver / poor person : your divine position is the Middle Lane.  You can take your nap there.
10.  Should you have the misfortune to venture into 'The North' please remember that the M60 is just like the M25 - except that the dipshit northern fucking monkeys who use that one are even fucking Thicker than you are you STUPID CUNT.

This is only page 1, apparently, but somebody heard my accent so I had to stop reading immediately in case they realised I could.  Cunts.

 

Welcome to CC, northern, normally I'd wade in on a god awful opening nom, pick it apart, mercilessly destroy you for all to see and then suggest you kill yourself.  

However, even though quite long-winded, I like the essence of the nom, and am prepared to forgo my usual welcoming pack and just advise you to keep your nose clean and you may survive.

 

 

Just kidding, fuck off with this completely boring driving nom shit; you flat cap wearing, gravy slurping, knuckle dragging spastic.

Kill yourself, you stupid fucking cunt.

 

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Guest Lady Penelope
18 hours ago, Northern Cunt said:

Having lived in many parts of this soon-to-be-gloriously-independent-again Toilet, I feel I must point out to all my fellow Northern tossers, that you just don't realise how fucking lucky you are.
As what would once have been called a Missionary (or Invading Hor)  ((smaller than a complete Horde)) I have had the misfortune to dwell amongst these piss-drinking flap-slime licking collection of Southern Jessie cunts for a few years now.  Stupid jobs aside (I've got one of those and it pays a fuckin fortune . . . where's me Wad?) - quite simply the Cunts cannot drive.  Whichever twat decided to put driving licences on the shelves of Waitrose with the Gluten-free goods needs his piles sorting with a fucking brazing torch.  Their Driving Charter reads something like this:

1.  Don't ever drive at more than 10mph BELOW the actual speed limit.
2.  Never use the handbrake - how the fuck are you going to blind the poor cunt behind you with your vastly over-powered LED brake searchlights if you don't sit forever at traffics lights with your Cunting foot on the brake?
3.  Stop in the motorway MIDDLE LANE next to a solid line of stationary traffic and wait for the soppy cunt trapped behind you to be wiped out by that HGV.  After all : you're not looking so it can't hurt you, you stupid Fucking Bitch CUNT.
4.  Do let that murderous oik who just overtook you for blasting along at 20mph know how rude he is by flashing your lights and gesticulating.  Pointless immediately sending him a choice Tweet as the ignorant twat probably can't read. Always remember mirrors and indicators are for Poor People who cannot use The Force.
5.  Southern Jessie HGV driving CUNTS are to at all times disregard any '7.5T' restriction signs and do your utmost to use at least 18" of the other carriageway on bends etc - after all there may just be a Northern Cunt in the other vehicle.
6.  Try to ensure you join the 'I am a Stupid Cunt' rally on the M25 Car Park at least twice a day.
7.  Ensure that you prolong and elongate the stationary mile of traffic trying to get off the motorway by not moving up the slip road until you have AT LEAST 20 car lengths clear in front.  That way you can be a totally LAZY FUCKING FUCKWIT SLIME SUCKING CUNT and just creep along in first gear without having to do that 'poor person' manoever : brake.  If you do : remember Point 2.
8.  Remember : the reason you bought a Merc / BM / Audi is because God granted You the divine right to the outside lane.
9.  If you are an immigrant / taxi driver / poor person : your divine position is the Middle Lane.  You can take your nap there.
10.  Should you have the misfortune to venture into 'The North' please remember that the M60 is just like the M25 - except that the dipshit northern fucking monkeys who use that one are even fucking Thicker than you are you STUPID CUNT.

This is only page 1, apparently, but somebody heard my accent so I had to stop reading immediately in case they realised I could.  Cunts.

 

Spendid.

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18 hours ago, Noakes said:

We have enough whinging Northern fucktards complaining about anything more sophisticated than black pudding, saying how great their northern piss water beer is and slagging off their betters from down South. Now go and get a nice piece of rope, look up how to make a "forbidden knot", do one and use it quickly on yourself to end your miserable existence you bottom feeding pig fucker.

You are wasting our time and yours, fucking kill yourself.

How confusing, Noakes. I've just read your comment above, which I then compared with one you posted earlier:

'Power to the people! One world, one humanity. You have a basket full of puppies, they all look different but you still call them dogs. Humans ALL look different to each other but they are all human beings, race should be irrelevant in the 21st century. Racism is a product of ignorance and hatred.'

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Guest Mingeeta
18 hours ago, Northern Cunt said:

Having lived in many parts of this soon-to-be-gloriously-independent-again Toilet, I feel I must point out to all my fellow Northern tossers, that you just don't realise how fucking lucky you are.
As what would once have been called a Missionary (or Invading Hor)  ((smaller than a complete Horde)) I have had the misfortune to dwell amongst these piss-drinking flap-slime licking collection of Southern Jessie cunts for a few years now.  Stupid jobs aside (I've got one of those and it pays a fuckin fortune . . . where's me Wad?) - quite simply the Cunts cannot drive.  Whichever twat decided to put driving licences on the shelves of Waitrose with the Gluten-free goods needs his piles sorting with a fucking brazing torch.  Their Driving Charter reads something like this:

1.  Don't ever drive at more than 10mph BELOW the actual speed limit.
2.  Never use the handbrake - how the fuck are you going to blind the poor cunt behind you with your vastly over-powered LED brake searchlights if you don't sit forever at traffics lights with your Cunting foot on the brake?
3.  Stop in the motorway MIDDLE LANE next to a solid line of stationary traffic and wait for the soppy cunt trapped behind you to be wiped out by that HGV.  After all : you're not looking so it can't hurt you, you stupid Fucking Bitch CUNT.
4.  Do let that murderous oik who just overtook you for blasting along at 20mph know how rude he is by flashing your lights and gesticulating.  Pointless immediately sending him a choice Tweet as the ignorant twat probably can't read. Always remember mirrors and indicators are for Poor People who cannot use The Force.
5.  Southern Jessie HGV driving CUNTS are to at all times disregard any '7.5T' restriction signs and do your utmost to use at least 18" of the other carriageway on bends etc - after all there may just be a Northern Cunt in the other vehicle.
6.  Try to ensure you join the 'I am a Stupid Cunt' rally on the M25 Car Park at least twice a day.
7.  Ensure that you prolong and elongate the stationary mile of traffic trying to get off the motorway by not moving up the slip road until you have AT LEAST 20 car lengths clear in front.  That way you can be a totally LAZY FUCKING FUCKWIT SLIME SUCKING CUNT and just creep along in first gear without having to do that 'poor person' manoever : brake.  If you do : remember Point 2.
8.  Remember : the reason you bought a Merc / BM / Audi is because God granted You the divine right to the outside lane.
9.  If you are an immigrant / taxi driver / poor person : your divine position is the Middle Lane.  You can take your nap there.
10.  Should you have the misfortune to venture into 'The North' please remember that the M60 is just like the M25 - except that the dipshit northern fucking monkeys who use that one are even fucking Thicker than you are you STUPID CUNT.

This is only page 1, apparently, but somebody heard my accent so I had to stop reading immediately in case they realised I could.  Cunts.

 

Why have you covered the eyes on your avatar?  That's usually done to hide ones identity. It doesn't help you, it stands out a mile you're a bellend.

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Guest Alfie Noakes
13 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

How confusing, Noakes. I've just read your comment above, which I then compared with one you posted earlier:

'Power to the people! One world, one humanity. You have a basket full of puppies, they all look different but you still call them dogs. Humans ALL look different to each other but they are all human beings, race should be irrelevant in the 21st century. Racism is a product of ignorance and hatred.'

I didn't bring race into it. Remain confused sap.

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19 hours ago, Northern Cunt said:

Having lived in many parts of this soon-to-be-gloriously-independent-again Toilet, I feel I must point out to all my fellow Northern tossers, that you just don't realise how fucking lucky you are.
As what would once have been called a Missionary (or Invading Hor)  ((smaller than a complete Horde)) I have had the misfortune to dwell amongst these piss-drinking flap-slime licking collection of Southern Jessie cunts for a few years now.  Stupid jobs aside (I've got one of those and it pays a fuckin fortune . . . where's me Wad?) - quite simply the Cunts cannot drive.  Whichever twat decided to put driving licences on the shelves of Waitrose with the Gluten-free goods needs his piles sorting with a fucking brazing torch.  Their Driving Charter reads something like this:

1.  Don't ever drive at more than 10mph BELOW the actual speed limit.
2.  Never use the handbrake - how the fuck are you going to blind the poor cunt behind you with your vastly over-powered LED brake searchlights if you don't sit forever at traffics lights with your Cunting foot on the brake?
3.  Stop in the motorway MIDDLE LANE next to a solid line of stationary traffic and wait for the soppy cunt trapped behind you to be wiped out by that HGV.  After all : you're not looking so it can't hurt you, you stupid Fucking Bitch CUNT.
4.  Do let that murderous oik who just overtook you for blasting along at 20mph know how rude he is by flashing your lights and gesticulating.  Pointless immediately sending him a choice Tweet as the ignorant twat probably can't read. Always remember mirrors and indicators are for Poor People who cannot use The Force.
5.  Southern Jessie HGV driving CUNTS are to at all times disregard any '7.5T' restriction signs and do your utmost to use at least 18" of the other carriageway on bends etc - after all there may just be a Northern Cunt in the other vehicle.
6.  Try to ensure you join the 'I am a Stupid Cunt' rally on the M25 Car Park at least twice a day.
7.  Ensure that you prolong and elongate the stationary mile of traffic trying to get off the motorway by not moving up the slip road until you have AT LEAST 20 car lengths clear in front.  That way you can be a totally LAZY FUCKING FUCKWIT SLIME SUCKING CUNT and just creep along in first gear without having to do that 'poor person' manoever : brake.  If you do : remember Point 2.
8.  Remember : the reason you bought a Merc / BM / Audi is because God granted You the divine right to the outside lane.
9.  If you are an immigrant / taxi driver / poor person : your divine position is the Middle Lane.  You can take your nap there.
10.  Should you have the misfortune to venture into 'The North' please remember that the M60 is just like the M25 - except that the dipshit northern fucking monkeys who use that one are even fucking Thicker than you are you STUPID CUNT.

This is only page 1, apparently, but somebody heard my accent so I had to stop reading immediately in case they realised I could.  Cunts.

 

My mum's dead and so is Minty, so what in Oddi's sphincter is this going to do for me you drawling twat?

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Guest Cupid Stunt
1 hour ago, Mingeeta said:

Why have you covered the eyes on your avatar?  That's usually done to hide ones identity. It doesn't help you, it stands out a mile you're a bellend.

One might ask you the same question, you stupid fucking cunt.

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Guest Alfie Noakes
1 hour ago, Wolfie said:

You fail to see the irony in your own comments. Are you sure you're not a northerner? It's just you seem to err a little on the thick side.

There is no irony in telling a newbie fucktard to kill themselves. You really don't get it do you? Proof positive that you are a little bit short on  t'old grey matter, eyup like.

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1 minute ago, Noakes said:

There is no irony in telling a newbie fucktard to kill themselves. You really don't get it do you? Proof positive that you are a little bit short on  t'old grey matter, eyup like.

The voice of diplomacy and reason strikes again. You great big wad of useless, benign spunk.

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Guest Alfie Noakes
1 minute ago, Wolfie said:

The voice of diplomacy and reason strikes again. You great big wad of useless, benign spunk.

Rather than Aunty Mabels tit going though the mangle, shove your fucking retarded head through it. Fuck you and all the sailors who spunk in you.

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3 minutes ago, Noakes said:

Rather than Aunty Mabels tit going though the mangle, shove your fucking retarded head through it. Fuck you and all the sailors who spunk in you.

I'm not surprised you're resorting to a bout of obnoxious cuntery; judging by your previous posts, you know of no other way to handle confrontation. As a 'newbie', therefore, it's good to sort out the wanting knuckle-draggers from those worthy of intelligent debate. 

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