Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 Frankie and Benny's is a disgrace. The pretend Eye-talian American schtick gets old as soon as you set foot in the place. Mama Mia, itsa Uncle Gino's famous pasta sauce, and all that wop bullshit. Frankie and Benny's serves microwaved food, the waiters up-sell you side dishes like clammy salesmen, and during the hour I spent there I heard Cliff Richard's Congratulations four fucking times, as desultory cakes were wheeled out to some chav family celebrating wee Logan's or Auntie Megan's birthday. I'm convinced that Frankie and Benny's have a pretend kitchen out in the seating area, where some guy fires special oil into a hot plate every five minutes to approximate something being flambe'd. Meanwhile your steak, pizza or chicken is doing a tour of duty in a Morphy Richards out the back. The food is fucking bland, overcooked and virtually flavourless. If they say it is spicy then yes, there is a mild heat. No nuance of flavour, no hidden charms, no myriad of tongue-exciting textures. Just slop. The place is also expensive for what you get. Basically it caters to stupid uncouth chavs who want the fine dining experience but know nothing about food beyond the fact that they like shoveling it in and that it must be good if it costs a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 5 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Frankie and Benny's is a disgrace. The pretend Eye-talian American schtick gets old as soon as you set foot in the place. Mama Mia, itsa Uncle Gino's famous pasta sauce, and all that wop bullshit. Frankie and Benny's serves microwaved food, the waiters up-sell you side dishes like clammy salesmen, and during the hour I spent there I heard Cliff Richard's Congratulations four fucking times, as desultory cakes were wheeled out to some chav family celebrating wee Logan's or Auntie Megan's birthday. I'm convinced that Frankie and Benny's have a pretend kitchen out in the seating area, where some guy fires special oil into a hot plate every five minutes to approximate something being flambe'd. Meanwhile your steak, pizza or chicken is doing a tour of duty in a Morphy Richards out the back. The food is fucking bland, overcooked and virtually flavourless. If they say it is spicy then yes, there is a mild heat. No nuance of flavour, no hidden charms, no myriad of tongue-exciting textures. Just slop. The place is also expensive for what you get. Basically it caters to stupid uncouth chavs who want the fine dining experience but know nothing about food beyond the fact that they like shoveling it in and that it must be good if it costs a lot. I'm genuinely surprised you go into such places. Why don't you give your patronage to your local Italian instead of vile commercial chains. Do some research and review a good Italian restaurant instead of boring us to death with shit nominations. You'll be reviewing KFC next..... Fuck off . 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 2 minutes ago, Punkape said: I'm genuinely surprised you go into such places. Why don't you give your patronage to your local Italian instead of vile commercial chains. Do some research and review a good Italian restaurant instead of boring us to death with shit nominations. You'll be reviewing KFC next..... Fuck off . I expect that you go into Gay Alfie's greasy spoon Mr Punkly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 As American/Italian as my left bollock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 It's all fucking foreign muck. Faux fucking plastic Mick's like myself do not have a gastroinstestinal system that can process this shite. Whatever happened to good old fashioned home cooking followed by a huge great dump the next day? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 The Frankie and Benny's near me succeeded in getting a zero hygiene rating a few months ago. That's some achievement considering there are assorted kebab shops in Boro boasting 3 stars whose owners serve their house fucking specials whilst masturbating on a rickety commode. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 1 hour ago, Tata Steely Dan said: that it must be good if it costs a lot. Just like any of those restaurants that sell half a plate of food with a leaf on top for £80. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted April 9, 2017 Report Share Posted April 9, 2017 14 minutes ago, Punkape said: I'm genuinely surprised you go into such places. Why don't you give your patronage to your local Italian instead of vile commercial chains. Do some research and review a good Italian restaurant instead of boring us to death with shit nominations. You'll be reviewing KFC next..... Fuck off . Is that the same local Italian you suck off for a fiver? All 10 of them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 17 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Frankie and Benny's is a disgrace. The pretend Eye-talian American schtick gets old as soon as you set foot in the place. Mama Mia, itsa Uncle Gino's famous pasta sauce, and all that wop bullshit. Frankie and Benny's serves microwaved food, the waiters up-sell you side dishes like clammy salesmen, and during the hour I spent there I heard Cliff Richard's Congratulations four fucking times, as desultory cakes were wheeled out to some chav family celebrating wee Logan's or Auntie Megan's birthday. I'm convinced that Frankie and Benny's have a pretend kitchen out in the seating area, where some guy fires special oil into a hot plate every five minutes to approximate something being flambe'd. Meanwhile your steak, pizza or chicken is doing a tour of duty in a Morphy Richards out the back. The food is fucking bland, overcooked and virtually flavourless. If they say it is spicy then yes, there is a mild heat. No nuance of flavour, no hidden charms, no myriad of tongue-exciting textures. Just slop. The place is also expensive for what you get. Basically it caters to stupid uncouth chavs who want the fine dining experience but know nothing about food beyond the fact that they like shoveling it in and that it must be good if it costs a lot. Never been in one of these faux itie/yank places but I bet it's festooned with framed photos of pseudo Italian famous people (sinatra, dean martin, Tony Bennett etc) and snapshots of American/Italian life in the 40s? Italian cuisine is more one dimensional than French cuisine: pizza or pasta? Neither? Then fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 17 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said: ..........during the hour I spent there........... /run punkape.exe -signoff >lol 17 hours ago, The Beast said: It's all fucking foreign muck. Faux fucking plastic Mick's like myself do not have a gastroinstestinal system that can process this shite. Whatever happened to good old fashioned home cooking followed by a huge great dump the next day? Bangers and mash, half a pack of butter, loads of salt & pepper, (white in the mash).... if the bangers are good enough you don't need the HP... tbh I think Punkers has it right for once... don't go into any of those shitty chains that can only survive if situated next to Toys R Us, Argos Extra and 10 Pin Bowling/Cinemashite... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted April 10, 2017 Report Share Posted April 10, 2017 It is the worst of all the chain diners. Only good thing is the cocktails. though I haven't drunk a cocktail for at least 15 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted April 11, 2017 Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 You must have realised it was going to be all fake bollox and fucking useless shit just with the name Frank-(ie). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 11, 2017 Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 On 10/04/2017 at 3:02 PM, camberwell gypsy said: Never been in one of these faux itie/yank places but I bet it's festooned with framed photos of pseudo Italian famous people (sinatra, dean martin, Tony Bennett etc) and snapshots of American/Italian life in the 40s? Italian cuisine is more one dimensional than French cuisine: pizza or pasta? Neither? Then fuck off. Spot on Gyps. Have you been reading tea leaves? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted April 11, 2017 Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 There's an Italian/French place opened near me. Not sure how that works, I don't fancy snails on pizza. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 11, 2017 Report Share Posted April 11, 2017 2 hours ago, nobgobbler said: There's an Italian/French place opened near me. Not sure how that works, I don't fancy snails on pizza. Bet their delivery driver doesn't know whether to reverse in 2nd or 5th... poor bastard... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 Frankie and Benny's what exactly? They sound like couple of jobby jousters so take a wild guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 As someone with filthy greasball ancestry (grandparents on my mother's side were Italian, so if I was a Yank I'd be one of those cunts who never shut up about the "old country") I can also assure you that their meatballs and lasagne are over-seasoned shit that are about as "traditionally Italian" as McDonald's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 On 09/04/2017 at 9:47 PM, Punkape said: I'm genuinely surprised you go into such places. Why don't you give your patronage to your local Italian instead of vile commercial chains. Do some research and review a good Italian restaurant instead of boring us to death with shit nominations. You'll be reviewing KFC next..... Fuck off . I bet you've got awful fucking breath from all the spunk and caviare forming tonsil stones in the back of your foetid throat... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 1 hour ago, Roadkill said: As someone with filthy greasball ancestry (grandparents on my mother's side were Italian, so if I was a Yank I'd be one of those cunts who never shut up about the "old country") I can also assure you that their meatballs and lasagne are over-seasoned shit that are about as "traditionally Italian" as McDonald's. Spaghetti bolognais is made up bullshit as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 Any place using the "Hi Guys" greeting deserves a well aimed size 9 to the bollocks.This is the UK not fucking Venice Beach. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted April 12, 2017 Report Share Posted April 12, 2017 5 hours ago, colonelkurtz said: Any place using the "Hi Guys" greeting deserves a well aimed size 9 to the bollocks.This is the UK not fucking Venice Beach. Or "hey"... it used to be every american piece of shit telly had someone come into scene and say "hey............" at least 20 times an hour, and now it's on british telly.... FUCK. OFF. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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