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Dyson


Guest Stonk

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Guest Stonk

Sir James Dyson OM FRS, you may well be a knight of the realm, a recipient of the nation's most exclusive order of merit, and a fellow of the world's foremost learned academic society, but when your people insist that they cannot supply a simple replacement rubber gasket, and that instead I must purchase an entire cyclone assembly, it becomes clear that both they and you are all cunts.

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Guest Stonk

Thank you.  I have just sourced the part from tax-dodging cunts Amazon for £3.49 delivered, as opposed to the £36.24 that shyster cunts Dyson wanted to separate me from.

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4 minutes ago, Stonk said:

Thank you.  I have just sourced the part from tax-dodging cunts Amazon for £3.49 delivered, as opposed to the £36.24 that shyster cunts Dyson wanted to separate me from.

Now that the suction system on your "Hoover" is now functioning properly again does this also mean that your sex life will be returning to normal ?

lol.

PS   I bet you put margarine in the rubber gaskets.

lol.

 

Fuck off.

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Guest Stonk
3 minutes ago, Punkape said:

Now that the suction system on your "Hoover" is now functioning properly again does this also mean that your sex life will be returning to normal ?

With or without suction, my sex life is anything but normal.  But it will make clearing up Weetabix quicker.

 

3 minutes ago, Punkape said:

PS   I bet you put margarine in the rubber gaskets.

Disgusting filth, used by cunts.  Only freshly churned butter will suffice for me and my gaskets.

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1 minute ago, Stonk said:

With or without suction, my sex life is anything but normal.  But it will make clearing up Weetabix quicker.

 

Disgusting filth, used by cunts.  Only freshly churned butter will suffice for me and my gaskets.

I'm going to save you some time and just tell you that there is no point to interacting with Punkape at all. He's a semi-intelligent AI construct that occasionally logs on to the site to spread his own twisted views of how he sees the world. He's been stuck in a loop for the past couple of months and I think whatever facility his database is housed in is long since abandoned, so no one can reset him. Agree with him, disagree with him, even play along with him, it won't change a fucking thing. He'll just keep going on about Jesus (specifically Catholicism), Golf, and his fucking Range Rover. Any new data entered (the margarine thing, for example) will soon be lost to his decaying memory banks and he'll be back into default mode by tomorrow.

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Guest Terry Tibbs
On 17/04/2017 at 4:58 PM, Punkape said:

Now that the suction system on your "Hoover" is now functioning properly again does this also mean that your sex life will be returning to normal ?

lol.

PS   I bet you put margarine in the rubber gaskets.

lol.

 

Fuck off.

I've noticed that you appear to be a raging back scuttler. With that in mind, I've got a new fleet of pink Cadillacs in the show room that need flogging and I'm looking at livening up the test drives for the inevitable woofters who take an interest in them. I've had some compartments fitted in the bonnet, Washington sniper style, and am thinking that we could squeeze you in and you could pop your arse out through the headlight to provide a happy ending service.

I've put together an advertisement campaign to get the ball rolling.

300x300.jpg

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Guest Alfie Noakes
On 17/04/2017 at 5:18 PM, Roadkill said:

I'm going to save you some time and just tell you that there is no point to interacting with Punkape at all. He's a semi-intelligent AI construct that occasionally logs on to the site to spread his own twisted views of how he sees the world. He's been stuck in a loop for the past couple of months and I think whatever facility his database is housed in is long since abandoned, so no one can reset him. Agree with him, disagree with him, even play along with him, it won't change a fucking thing. He'll just keep going on about Jesus (specifically Catholicism), Golf, and his fucking Range Rover. Any new data entered (the margarine thing, for example) will soon be lost to his decaying memory banks and he'll be back into default mode by tomorrow.

You say stuck in a loop for a couple of months! You will find years fits where months was used in your sentence.

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Guest Lady Penelope
On 17/04/2017 at 5:18 PM, Roadkill said:

I'm going to save you some time and just tell you that there is no point to interacting with Punkape at all. He's a semi-intelligent AI construct that occasionally logs on to the site to spread his own twisted views of how he sees the world. He's been stuck in a loop for the past couple of months and I think whatever facility his database is housed in is long since abandoned, so no one can reset him. Agree with him, disagree with him, even play along with him, it won't change a fucking thing. He'll just keep going on about Jesus (specifically Catholicism), Golf, and his fucking Range Rover. Any new data entered (the margarine thing, for example) will soon be lost to his decaying memory banks and he'll be back into default mode by tomorrow.

Reported for insulting a cherished and respected member.

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2 hours ago, Terry Tibbs said:

I've noticed that you appear to be a raging back scuttler. With that in mind, I've got a new fleet of pink Cadillacs in the show room that need flogging and I'm looking at livening up the test drives for the inevitable woofters who take an interest in them. I've had some compartments fitted in the bonnet, Washington sniper style, and am thinking that we could squeeze you in and you could pop your arse out through the headlight to provide a happy ending service.

I've put together an advertisement campaign to get the ball rolling.

300x300.jpg

Outta likes

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3 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said:

You say stuck in a loop for a couple of months! You will find years fits where months was used in your sentence.

I've only been a member for seven months and about five of those are lost to over indulgent ganja marathons. I do remember that Punkape was the second ever person to speak to me on here. Gong was the first and he happened to be complaining about the uppity little shit at the time.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Alfie Noakes
9 hours ago, ratcum said:

I'd like to see James Dyson and that smug GTECH AirRam cunt in a fight to the death. I'd then go in a clear up the debris with a Henry

Fuck bagless cleaners they are all shit. My henry vacuum sucks better than all the others combined.

 

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Guest Lady Penelope
11 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Fuck bagless cleaners they are all shit. My henry vacuum sucks better than all the others combined.

 

My Hetty is a good little sucker

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28 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said:

Fuck bagless cleaners they are all shit. My henry vacuum sucks better than all the others combined.

 

They're over engineered and too much is placed on aesthetic design rather than substance. Go to a recycle tip and you cant move for discarded Dysons, some of them looking quite new. Actually one of the best cleaners is a Kirby vacuum, which looks like a 1940's museum piece. Shame they are vastly overpriced and are sold by door to door salesmen who employ high pressure sales tactics...

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5 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

They're over engineered and too much is placed on aesthetic design rather than substance. Go to a recycle tip and you cant move for discarded Dysons, some of them looking quite new. Actually one of the best cleaners is a Kirby vacuum, which looks like a 1940's museum piece. Shame they are vastly overpriced and are sold by door to door salesmen who employ high pressure sales tactics...

Do they harm the gerbils?

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Guest Alfie Noakes
44 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

They're over engineered and too much is placed on aesthetic design rather than substance. Go to a recycle tip and you cant move for discarded Dysons, some of them looking quite new. Actually one of the best cleaners is a Kirby vacuum, which looks like a 1940's museum piece. Shame they are vastly overpriced and are sold by door to door salesmen who employ high pressure sales tactics...

In the 1980s I got on my bike, as was the politcal message and looked for work. I tried most things, oh and fuck off punkape before you start, Kirby was one of them. I hated their direct and indirect pressure techniques and left after two demonstrations that were booked for me in homes of people who could never afford one, a lose lose situation. They were too heavy and the so called unbreakable plastic accessories were very breakable as I found out on my first demonstration, very much a case of hype over substance.

Still I am sure punkape would use the many accessories to create a self felching device (had to say it before troll features squeaks up).

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19 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Do they harm the gerbils?

This may come as a surprise to my critics but my knowledge and experience of inappropriate rodent use amounts to zilch. I did however spend a few days with friends at Menai Bridge last week where I bought some products from The Body Shop, famous for not testing on rats and other animals.

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