Jump to content
CUNTS CORNER TWITTER ACCOUNT ID @CuntsCorner ×
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

The Five Second Rule.


Guest 'eavensabove

Recommended Posts

Guest 'eavensabove

Some of the brains on here wont give this nom 5 seconds, but then again they'd eat anything...

The five second rule, suggests that if you drop your food upon the floor, so long as you pick it up within 5 seconds then it is still perfectly safe to eat... Errrrm.

Sure, if you drop your Hobnob on your lounge carpet then its obviously destined for the bin, but I ask you, surely half a Scotch Egg, dropped cut-face down on the floor of a shopping centre for example, would still be digestible the following day?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Manky

Nowadays, the little darlings stuck on their laptops, tablets and games consoles aren't subject to the exposure to shite the same as us from the older generations. In my youth, falling out of a tree and nearly getting killed was a rite of passage to be undertaken thrice weekly. Getting lacerated knees covered in mud didn't merit 5 gallons of dettol, half a ton of Savlon and a week in intensive care. No wonder every cunt is a snowflake nowadays.

Beat the 5 second rule, don't drop food on the floor. If you do eat it. Only faggots are scared of dying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 'eavensabove
37 minutes ago, Manky said:

Nowadays, the little darlings stuck on their laptops, tablets and games consoles aren't subject to the exposure to shite the same as us from the older generations. In my youth, falling out of a tree and nearly getting killed was a rite of passage to be undertaken thrice weekly. Getting lacerated knees covered in mud didn't merit 5 gallons of dettol, half a ton of Savlon and a week in intensive care. No wonder every cunt is a snowflake nowadays.

Beat the 5 second rule, don't drop food on the floor. If you do eat it. Only faggots are scared of dying.

Exactly. Half the stuff we eat today has been in contact with a darn-sight more than just the ground... If you aint got a stomach that can handle lead, then cunt-off and become anorexic. A bit of dirt never hurt no cunt. I never got where I am today by not being able to lap-up me cuppa-soup from my bog-floor, with relish.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

44 minutes ago, Manky said:

Nowadays, the little darlings stuck on their laptops, tablets and games consoles aren't subject to the exposure to shite the same as us from the older generations. In my youth, falling out of a tree and nearly getting killed was a rite of passage to be undertaken thrice weekly. Getting lacerated knees covered in mud didn't merit 5 gallons of dettol, half a ton of Savlon and a week in intensive care. No wonder every cunt is a snowflake nowadays.

Beat the 5 second rule, don't drop food on the floor. If you do eat it. Only faggots are scared of dying.

If you don't eat a bit of dirt you don't build up any immunity to bugs etc', I've got an NVQ 3 in food hygiene and you wouldn't believe the conformity requirements for food manufacture and processing, totally ridiculous, kids have been wrapped in cotton wool and turned into weaklings as a result. As for the myth of the '5 second rule' it's bollocks! Bacteria is transferred instantaneously from surface to surface, so 0.5 seconds is enough, let alone 5.0. Trouble is, if you're not exposed to it, you can't develop resistance and fall foul of every bit of grot. The population is turning into a bunch of anaemic fairies and they'll all die from common colds.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 'eavensabove
53 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If you don't eat a bit of dirt you don't build up any immunity to bugs etc', I've got an NVQ 3 in food hygiene and you wouldn't believe the conformity requirements for food manufacture and processing, totally ridiculous, kids have been wrapped in cotton wool and turned into weaklings as a result. As for the myth of the '5 second rule' it's bollocks! Bacteria is transferred instantaneously from surface to surface, so 0.5 seconds is enough, let alone 5.0. Trouble is, if you're not exposed to it, you can't develop resistance and fall foul of every bit of grot. The population is turning into a bunch of anaemic fairies and they'll all die from common colds.

Furthermore, washing our hands does naff-shit. In fact, it only destroys the skins natural defence against bugs, and makes matters worse than they were before we washed them. What the fuck is wrong with brushing off the dirt from a freshly picked carrot for example and eating the fucker raw? Fuck all, yet todays numbskull parents, scrub the cunts, microwave the fuckers or even worse use frozen or tinned shit in the hope that they are protecting their little darlings from hell knows what. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 'eavensabove
3 minutes ago, Drew P Pissflaps said:

are you trying to tell us that Elton took a bite out of a spunk drizzled Mars bar?

... and within 30 fucking minuets from it dropping out of a boys ass. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Snatch
4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If you don't eat a bit of dirt you don't build up any immunity to bugs etc', I've got an NVQ 3 in food hygiene and you wouldn't believe the conformity requirements for food manufacture and processing, totally ridiculous, kids have been wrapped in cotton wool and turned into weaklings as a result. As for the myth of the '5 second rule' it's bollocks! Bacteria is transferred instantaneously from surface to surface, so 0.5 seconds is enough, let alone 5.0. Trouble is, if you're not exposed to it, you can't develop resistance and fall foul of every bit of grot. The population is turning into a bunch of anaemic fairies and they'll all die from common colds.

Roops told you that didn't she. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, Snatch said:

Roops told you that didn't she. 

Funnily enough, no, just good old fashioned knowledge gained from workplace experience. It's all pretty much common sense, and doesn't need any fancy book learning. Basically if there's a trace of dogshit on the floor and a piece of food lands on it, there's shit on the food, the shit doesn't give you 5 seconds before it jumps onto it! Where this 5 second nonsense came from is a mystery to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Watched the first episode of that. Load of shite. Never watched it again, so that is lost on me. 

I only sat through it for Mrs Cuntmans sake, cos I'm considerate, Marianne Facefull was in it once, singing that bastard song. Anita Pallenberg was in the same episode. Must've been a 'Whores from the 60's' special.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest nobgobbler

It's not something I would ever do, I suppose because I cook for other people and it wouldn't be right. I do know a chef though, who regularly drops food on the floor and slaps it on the punters plates. Whenever a customer complains about the way the steak is cooked and he has to re-do the order, he drops the steak on the floor, and stamps on it before serving it up. He also goes in the walk-in fridge to scratch his balls and apply talcum powder to his sweaty crotch. So maybe the 5 second floor drop rule isn't so bad after all. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 'eavensabove
1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Funnily enough, no, just good old fashioned knowledge gained from workplace experience. It's all pretty much common sense, and doesn't need any fancy book learning. Basically if there's a trace of dogshit on the floor and a piece of food lands on it, there's shit on the food, the shit doesn't give you 5 seconds before it jumps onto it! Where this 5 second nonsense came from is a mystery to me.

some "scientist" was prattling on and on about this morning on the tele. Eat anything off the floor he said, after 5 seconds of it being there, and it isn't fit for human consumption... The cunt has had it if he comes to mine for some fine dining. I'd be fucked if not for the bins outside of KFC. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Neil said:

Punkape has an NVQ...if that means Now Very Queer,

The level 1 is actually the food hygiene certificate you see proudly displayed on the walls of cafés and burger vans, the entire course for it lasts 2 hours and teaches you to wash your hands and not put raw meat in the same fridge as cooked stuff and salad. It stands for 'Not Very Qualified'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest 'eavensabove
4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The level 1 is actually the food hygiene certificate you see proudly displayed on the walls of cafés and burger vans, the entire course for it lasts 2 hours and teaches you to wash your hands and not put raw meat in the same fridge as cooked stuff and salad. It stands for 'Not Very Qualified'

Bahhh. To fuck with all that nonsense. I've been punting-out me burgers on the hard-shoulder of the M25 for 70+ years, and I can only ever recall five of my customers dying from trying my 'eavens with cheese. .  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Spanky

Anyone who has been to a fast food restaurant or consumed any sort of processesed food has literally eaten gallons of jizz, tonnes of scabs and at least five pubes. After all that lot, the five second rule is kind of superfluous. Never did any famous pop-stars any harm mind. The huge amounts of bum-banditry and herpes ridden groupies might have, but not the five second rule. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...