Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 If like me you are proud of your gardens, then you will know that bamboo is cunt. However, for the less enlightened amongst you, then please try before you buy... I potted what I'd hoped would be a little-back-drop feature for my herbaceous border of Lupins, only to find that now (some years later) my garden has become the embankment of the River Kwai. I live in constant fear of attack from the Viet Kong or some spear-chucking cunt every morning whilst milking me goat. Bamboo, spreads like wild-fire and is a cunt to remove once it's established. Don't go there. Bamboo is a cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 19 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: If like me you are proud of your gardens, then you will know that bamboo is cunt. However, for the less enlightened amongst you, then please try before you buy... I potted what I'd hoped would be a little-back-drop feature for my herbaceous border of Lupins, only to find that now (some years later) my garden has become the embankment of the River Kwai. I live in constant fear of attack from the Viet Kong or some spear-chucking cunt every morning whilst milking me goat. Bamboo, spreads like wild-fire and is a cunt to remove once it's established. Don't go there. Bamboo is a cunt. Bamboo is a cunt, and so was my old Headmaster Mr Jones, who used it to create red marks across the palm of my hand a few times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: Bamboo is a cunt, and so was my old Headmaster Mr Jones, who used it to create red marks across the palm of my hand a few times. Kids today don't know what school punishment is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 5 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Kids today don't know what school punishment is. They do. It's what happens to their teachers if they so much as look at them funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 24 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: If like me you are proud of your gardens, then you will know that bamboo is cunt. However, for the less enlightened amongst you, then please try before you buy... I potted what I'd hoped would be a little-back-drop feature for my herbaceous border of Lupins, only to find that now (some years later) my garden has become the embankment of the River Kwai. I live in constant fear of attack from the Viet Kong or some spear-chucking cunt every morning whilst milking me goat. Bamboo, spreads like wild-fire and is a cunt to remove once it's established. Don't go there. Bamboo is a cunt. "Milking me goat"? This is a blatant euphemism for wanking. Please explain yourself you dirty fucker! I agree though, bamboo is a cunt in the garden, but a great resource in the jungle if your got a sharp, heavy parang or machete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Just now, Stubby Pecker said: "Milking me goat"? This is a blatant euphemism for wanking. Please explain yourself you dirty fucker! I agree though, bamboo is a cunt in the garden, but a great resource in the jungle if your got a sharp, heavy parang or machete I am NOT dirty. No spunk on my bedsheets, and the goat doesn't answer me back. Bhhaaa. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 3 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: "Milking me goat"? This is a blatant euphemism for wanking. Please explain yourself you dirty fucker! I agree though, bamboo is a cunt in the garden, but a great resource in the jungle if your got a sharp, heavy parang or machete Parang, machete, you're giving me the 'orn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: If like me you are proud of your gardens, then you will know that bamboo is cunt. However, for the less enlightened amongst you, then please try before you buy... I potted what I'd hoped would be a little-back-drop feature for my herbaceous border of Lupins, only to find that now (some years later) my garden has become the embankment of the River Kwai. I live in constant fear of attack from the Viet Kong or some spear-chucking cunt every morning whilst milking me goat. Bamboo, spreads like wild-fire and is a cunt to remove once it's established. Don't go there. Bamboo is a cunt. You need a different type of bamboo. The stuff I've got is excellent. Let me have a look at its name......er.......oh yes here we are. It's called Wopbapaloobopawop bamboo. Its Latin name is Richardus Littlus. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 8 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: You need a different type of bamboo. The stuff I've got is excellent. Let me have a look at its name......er.......oh yes here we are. It's called Wopbapaloobopawop bamboo. Its Latin name is Richardos Littlus. nice one. out of likes. I blame Dick Van Dyke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Just now, 'eavensabove said: nice one. out of likes. I blame Dick Van Dyke. Don't get me talking about Mary Poppins and the London Eye Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 `eavens have you tried Agent Orange ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 1 minute ago, Hokey Gingers said: `eavens have you tried Agent Orange ? Is it anything like Fanta? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 Does Fanta bring you out in ..er..lumps? If so, yes, yes it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 1 minute ago, Hokey Gingers said: Does Fanta bring you out in ..er..lumps? If so, yes, yes it is. I don't want lumps. I wanna flame thrower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: If like me you are proud of your gardens, then you will know that bamboo is cunt. However, for the less enlightened amongst you, then please try before you buy... I potted what I'd hoped would be a little-back-drop feature for my herbaceous border of Lupins, only to find that now (some years later) my garden has become the embankment of the River Kwai. I live in constant fear of attack from the Viet Kong or some spear-chucking cunt every morning whilst milking me goat. Bamboo, spreads like wild-fire and is a cunt to remove once it's established. Don't go there. Bamboo is a cunt. Laffin bollox off Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 3 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said: Laffin bollox off Panzerknacker Trust me, it's almost sprouting through me floors from 100 yards away. The fucking stuff pokes out anywhere it wants take root. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 5, 2017 Report Share Posted May 5, 2017 2 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: Trust me, it's almost sprouting through me floors from 100 yards away. The fucking stuff pokes out anywhere it wants take root. You in the bad bush man....an i don't mean the one between ole mama sans legs.. Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 11 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Is it anything like Fanta? I think it is. Try drinking some just to check. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 14 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: If like me you are proud of your gardens, then you will know that bamboo is cunt. However, for the less enlightened amongst you, then please try before you buy... I potted what I'd hoped would be a little-back-drop feature for my herbaceous border of Lupins, only to find that now (some years later) my garden has become the embankment of the River Kwai. I live in constant fear of attack from the Viet Kong or some spear-chucking cunt every morning whilst milking me goat. Bamboo, spreads like wild-fire and is a cunt to remove once it's established. Don't go there. Bamboo is a cunt. I'd like to harvest some of your bamboo. I'll make punji sticks and keep the local funeral bloke in business with cunts trying to sell me shite. If I'm really lucky, that spacker Frank will finally fall on one whilst trying to spy me and my missus in bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 13 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Don't get me talking about Mary Poppins and the London Eye My mother used to hang around with eye ties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 Fastest growing plant in the world is bamboo. I've known this since I was a child, so why didn't you know this before you planted it. I would suggest that you're a stupid cunt and you deserve an infestation of Panda bears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 27 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: My mother used to hang around with eye ties. And you hang around the bus station in Crewe looking for punters.... lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 32 minutes ago, Punkape said: And you hang around the bus station in Crewe looking for punters.... lol. You know Crewe omnibus station .. you are the toilet cleaner from Wetherspoons! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 38 minutes ago, deebom said: n of Panda bears. I knew someone who had a Fiat Panda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted May 6, 2017 Report Share Posted May 6, 2017 3 hours ago, deebom said: Fastest growing plant in the world is bamboo. I've known this since I was a child, so why didn't you know this before you planted it. I would suggest that you're a stupid cunt and you deserve an infestation of Panda bears. I aint stoopid. I planted the stuff above ground like it said on the packet, and had I known it was fast growing, I'd have put some on me head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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