Guest Manky Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Now I have reached a certain age, some twat has sent me a bowel cancer screening kit that I have to smear in shit and send to the shit inspectors Why is this acceptable but when I tried to send David Walliams a turd carved into the shape of the International Space Station, the Royal Mail spat their dummy out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 What is this shite Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 1 hour ago, Manky said: Now I have reached a certain age, some twat has sent me a bowel cancer screening kit that I have to smear in shit and send to the shit inspectors Why is this acceptable but when I tried to send David Walliams a turd carved into the shape of the International Space Station, the Royal Mail spat their dummy out. Have you upset anybody in post service lately? Sounds like they are willing to make an exception for you just to find out if you DO have bowel cancer, heaven forbid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 3 hours ago, Manky said: Now I have reached a certain age, some twat has sent me a bowel cancer screening kit that I have to smear in shit and send to the shit inspectors Why is this acceptable but when I tried to send David Walliams a turd carved into the shape of the International Space Station, the Royal Mail spat their dummy out. It's a conspiracy Manky. The government cunts want your DNA. My advice is smear it in next door's dog shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 11 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: It's a conspiracy Manky. The government cunts want your DNA. My advice is smear it in next door's dog shit. I wiped it on our local Kebab shop owner and got arrested on 12 charges of grooming young children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 Apparently when Sir (Sir!! Fucking Hell, somecunt knighted him) Lenny Henry was married to professional blimp Dawn French, they regularly received dog shit through the post. Difficult one this. The dog shit could have been delivered for racist reasons - as a comment on their mixed race marriage, or as is more likely, for artistic reasons. In other words a comment on their talent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witheredscrote Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 15 minutes ago, Manky said: I wiped it on our local Kebab shop owner and got arrested on 12 charges of grooming young children. I smear my test slides with Marmite, it gives those at the lab something to have a good laugh about, plus they can spread it on their toast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 5 hours ago, nobgobbler said: It's a conspiracy Manky. The government cunts want your DNA. My advice is smear it in next door's dog shit. Yeah right. Then every time a dog commits a crime, Manky gets banged up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 6 hours ago, nobgobbler said: It's a conspiracy Manky. The government cunts want your DNA. My advice is smear it in next door's dog shit. You just want to read about poor old Manky being held in quarantine for being the first human diagnosed with Canine parvovirus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted May 17, 2017 Report Share Posted May 17, 2017 5 hours ago, Manky said: I wiped it on our local Kebab shop owner and got arrested on 12 charges of grooming young children. There's a bloke in Fore Street in Exeter who is grooming children all the time and their parents even bing them to him but the cops won't do nothing 'cos he's a hairdresser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted May 18, 2017 Report Share Posted May 18, 2017 2 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said: Yeah right. Then every time a dog commits a crime, Manky gets banged up. I hope for his sake the dog in question doesn't have three arseholes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spanky Posted May 20, 2017 Report Share Posted May 20, 2017 On 2017-5-17 at 7:10 PM, Witheredscrote said: I smear my test slides with Marmite, it gives those at the lab something to have a good laugh about, plus they can spread it on their toast. I thought you didn't miss anything British, you faux French twat. Bet the cupboards in your bedsit in Hull are full of Pot Noodle and local council estate slags with a mouthful of herpes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 20, 2017 Report Share Posted May 20, 2017 6 minutes ago, Spanky said: I thought you didn't miss anything British, you faux French twat. Bet the cupboards in your bedsit in Hull are full of Pot Noodle and local council estate slags with a mouthful of herpes. Can everybody please stop using the word 'faux' whilst simultaneously (and quite rightly) cunting the French, it's a bit like wearing a Burka on an EDL march. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spanky Posted May 20, 2017 Report Share Posted May 20, 2017 6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: Can everybody please stop using the word 'faux' whilst simultaneously (and quite rightly) cunting the French, it's a bit like wearing a Burka on an EDL march. Unfortunately, to remove all French influences on our language over the last 1000 years would be impossible. Much like trying to get them to use deodorant or wash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted May 20, 2017 Report Share Posted May 20, 2017 Just now, Spanky said: Unfortunately, to remove all French influences on our language over the last 1000 years would be impossible. Much like trying to get them to use deodorant or wash. Or stop shitting in the shower and pushing it through the plug hole with their big toes, but we can at least try and eliminate the practice of using their words to try and appear worldly and windswept. I think we should start by calling 'bidets' 'ringpiece rinsers'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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