Guest Ollyboro Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Put my name down for the karaoke? Fuck off. Err, what the fuck makes you imagine for a split fucking second that I wish to join in with the fucking conga? If I wanted to grab some sweaty cunt's love handles and kick my legs about like a spastic I'd get cerebral palsy and do your wife up the shitter. And no I don't want to dance. I'd rather sit here with some other misanthropic cunt and criticize everyone else. "Oh don't be boring". Well one of us is being boring and my money's on you. LEAVE ME ALONE, Dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 3 hours ago, Ollyboro said: Put my name down for the karaoke? Fuck off. Err, what the fuck makes you imagine for a split fucking second that I wish to join in with the fucking conga? If I wanted to grab some sweaty cunt's love handles and kick my legs about like a spastic I'd get cerebral palsy and do your wife up the shitter. And no I don't want to dance. I'd rather sit here with some other misanthropic cunt and criticize everyone else. "Oh don't be boring". Well one of us is being boring and my money's on you. LEAVE ME ALONE, Dad. Nothing makes a person look more of a cunt than being in a conga. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 I've composed a new verse for the Hokey Cokey. You put your flick knife in, your flick knife out, your flick knife in, and you twist it all about... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 8 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: I've composed a new verse for the Hokey Cokey. You put your flick knife in, your flick knife out, your flick knife in, and you twist it all about... There is a version involving punkape and nigerian businessmen I can think of, but the cunting through song thread was locked due to homo erotic lyrics overpowering the whole thing, which upset admin. I was going to post it when it got locked out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 Triple whammy yesterday at christening service and aftermath. Service itself not too bad , with a reasonable amount of fanny and milfs here and there and a camp vicar to brighten up proceedings. Followed by "Go on - gerrup an 'ave a bop" - No , hope Mr DJ electrocutes himself. " Ain't my little grandson jus' wunnerful " - No , little Haribo or whatever he's called is just a shouty little shit. " Ooh , your uncle Eddie [no relation] , he's a right character isn't he " - No , Eddie [no relation] is a bigoted old gobshite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 These 'you don't have to be mad to work here - but it's compulsory' head-the-balls, after they've done being 'whacky' and 'the life and soul of the party', go back to their bedsits and sob themselves to sleep with only a Pot Noodle and Melody Radio for company. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 1 hour ago, colonelkurtz said: Triple whammy yesterday at christening service and aftermath. Service itself not too bad , with a reasonable amount of fanny and milfs on display and a camp vicar brightening up proceedings. Followed by "Go on - gerrup an 'ave a bop" - No , hope Mr DJ electrocutes himself. " Ain't my little grandson jus' wunnerful " - No , little Haribo or whatever he's called is a shouty little shit. " Ooh , your uncle Eddie [no relation] , he's a right character isn't he " - No , Eddie [no relation] is a bigoted old gobshite. Bigoted old gobshite. So it is our Eddie then! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 23 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Bigoted old gobshite. So it is our Eddie then! less of the old 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 7 hours ago, Ollyboro said: Put my name down for the karaoke? Fuck off. Err, what the fuck makes you imagine for a split fucking second that I wish to join in with the fucking conga? If I wanted to grab some sweaty cunt's love handles and kick my legs about like a spastic I'd get cerebral palsy and do your wife up the shitter. And no I don't want to dance. I'd rather sit here with some other misanthropic cunt and criticize everyone else. "Oh don't be boring". Well one of us is being boring and my money's on you. LEAVE ME ALONE, Dad. The worst thing about this particular species of over enthusiastic cuntstain, is that they will invariably refer to anyone who chooses not to participate in their chosen activity as a 'lightweight', as if you have refused to take part in some act of heroic bravery, rather than chosen not to make a cunt of yourself by prancing around like a mincing, faggot, spastic with a microphone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: The worst thing about this particular species of over enthusiastic cuntstain, is that they will invariably refer to anyone who chooses not to participate in their chosen activity as a 'lightweight', as if you have refused to take part in some act of heroic bravery, rather than chosen not to make a cunt of yourself by prancing around like a mincing, faggot, spastic with a microphone. It's the sheer arrogance of these cunts, Eric. Like they decide what's fun. Now I have no understanding of trainspotters, but at least no trainspotter has ever attempted to drag me down to a train station to make me write down fucking engine numbers. I enjoy masturbating, but I would never dream of sporting a straining erection, knocking on somecunt's door and insisting they join me under my duvet to read a copy of Razzle. Well, not since the last court order anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 57 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: It's the sheer arrogance of these cunts, Eric. Like they decide what's fun. Now I have no understanding of trainspotters, but at least no trainspotter has ever attempted to drag me down to a train station to make me write down fucking engine numbers. I enjoy masturbating, but I would never dream of sporting a straining erection, knocking on somecunt's door and insisting they join me under my duvet to read a copy of Razzle. Well, not since the last court order anyway. It's their way of validating their choice to indulge in sickening poofery and unforgivable cuntishness, like the sad wankers who try and convince you to join Facebook so that you can be one of them and spend half your life taking pictures of your dinner and being enthralled by endless posts detailing the activities of some uneducated skank and her 9 snot drenched, illegitimate, unruly bratcunts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 I have long been aware that being selective about things is for total cuntstains. Blanket bans are the only acceptable way. Parties, Banned. Party people, Double banned. Enjoyment., Banned. Activities that Manky wants to do. Acceptable. Work functions. Get the fuck out of my sight before I do a Josef Mengele on you. Get the picture? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 10 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: Nothing makes a person look more of a cunt than being in a conga. That's a rather broad and generalized statement, Gyps. I think we've covered this ground before, and have listed many actions and jobs that make people look a ridiculous fucking spacky cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spanky Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 14 hours ago, Ollyboro said: Put my name down for the karaoke? Fuck off. Err, what the fuck makes you imagine for a split fucking second that I wish to join in with the fucking conga? If I wanted to grab some sweaty cunt's love handles and kick my legs about like a spastic I'd get cerebral palsy and do your wife up the shitter. And no I don't want to dance. I'd rather sit here with some other misanthropic cunt and criticize everyone else. "Oh don't be boring". Well one of us is being boring and my money's on you. LEAVE ME ALONE, Dad. What you should do the next time someone like this tries to get you to join in is strain out a massive shit in your pants whilst they are hovering over you. Then you could tell them that they should join in on that fuckwittery instead as they would look less of a cunt. Then you should go clean yourself up you filthy incontinent cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 I dislike it immensely when you go to see a band and they're trying to get the audience to sing along, or clap or whatever. Fuck off, I paid to see YOU do the fucking singing. Even if you are shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted July 10, 2017 Report Share Posted July 10, 2017 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Cap'n Cunt said: I dislike it immensely when you go to see a band and they're trying to get the audience to sing along, or clap or whatever. Fuck off, I paid to see YOU do the fucking singing. Even if you are shit. Agreed, Captain. The worst one I can remember was when I went to a dyslexic awareness variety show. The obviously homosexual compere came out - forgive the pun- and shouted "Give us an A!" and got 26 different responses. Edited July 10, 2017 by Ollyboro Drug abuse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.