Guest Dr. Quim Posted July 18, 2017 Report Share Posted July 18, 2017 1 hour ago, southerncunt said: Try the "reverse kanga". This involves sitting on the throne facing the sistern. See if this helps. Failing that, move to the states, where the bogs start off full and you can deliver a breech otter safe in the knowledge there can be no marks. Total water birth. I never understood why Yank men are so insistent on soaking their cocks in their own shit water. Must be some sort of inbred ritual or something... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 19, 2017 Report Share Posted July 19, 2017 Another large deposit of sticky arse gravy left for the poor cleaner to scrub off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 19, 2017 Report Share Posted July 19, 2017 2 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said: Another large deposit of sticky arse gravy left for the poor cleaner to scrub off. Poor roadkill. Has he left any doodles on the lavatory walls? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 19, 2017 Report Share Posted July 19, 2017 5 minutes ago, Decimus said: Poor roadkill. Has he left any doodles on the lavatory walls? Indeed he has. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 On 19/07/2017 at 0:07 PM, Decimus said: Poor roadkill. Has he left any doodles on the lavatory walls? On 19/07/2017 at 0:13 PM, 'eavensabove said: Indeed he has. Jokes on both of you. Why the fuck would I be doodling on walls that I'm employed to keep clean? Pair of spackers. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Roadkill said: Jokes on both of you. Why the fuck would I be doodling on walls that I'm employed to keep clean? Pair of spackers. It's the only way you'd get paid! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Roadkill said: Jokes on both of you. Why the fuck would I be doodling on walls that I'm employed to keep clean? Pair of spackers. 'eavens goes way, way beyond spacker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 1 minute ago, 'eavensabove said: It's the only way you'd get paid! 'eavens, your lack of knowledge in what areas of public rest rooms require regular cleaning only encourages more worrying thought about where exactly your shit ends up at the end of the day. I've only ever had to clean the walls when some down's syndrome cunt has decided to imitate (and often outclass) Banksy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowy Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 when your a portly cunt like me the shit maybe on the in-laws wallls ....sorry mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 9 hours ago, Snowflake said: when your a portly cunt like me the shit maybe on the in-laws wallls ....sorry mom Mom? You're not related to sleeve are you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 On 7/19/2017 at 0:04 PM, Bill Stickers said: Another large deposit of sticky arse gravy left for the poor cleaner to scrub off. You'd have been proud of the one I snipped off this morning, Sticks. It was simultaneously making it's way round the u-bend, and poking up out of the water. Not only is that a feat in itself, but when I went to wipe, I punched the air in celebration upon finding that there wasn't even a smudge to be seen. I even popped the paper back on top of the roll for the wife to use later. Save the planet and all that fucking bollocks. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 4 minutes ago, nocti said: You'd have been proud of the one I snipped off this morning, Sticks. It was simultaneously making it's way round the u-bend, and poking up out of the water. Not only is that a feat in itself, but when I went to wipe, I punched the air in celebration upon finding that there wasn't even a smudge to be seen. I even popped the paper back on top of the roll for the wife to use later. Save the planet and all that fucking bollocks. You've got natural talent nocti. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 10 hours ago, Snowflake said: when your a portly cunt like me the shit maybe on the in-laws wallls ....sorry mom Kill yourself. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 11 hours ago, Roadkill said: 'eavens, your lack of knowledge in what areas of public rest rooms require regular cleaning only encourages more worrying thought about where exactly your shit ends up at the end of the day. I've only ever had to clean the walls when some down's syndrome cunt has decided to imitate (and often outclass) Banksy. For the record, I never rest in Public Rooms nor do I flush without flossing and my shit is my business in this neck of the woods. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 2 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: Mom? You're not related to sleeve are you? Extemecunt perhaps? This is his style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadkill Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 17 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said: For the record, I never rest in Public Rooms nor do I flush without flossing and my shit is my business in this neck of the woods. Sadly you don't get to make that choice around here. Eric thought the same thing about his balls until they were the number one topic for debate for about an hour the other day. The Corner moves in mysterious ways. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 6 minutes ago, Roadkill said: Sadly you don't get to make that choice around here. Eric thought the same thing about his balls until they were the number one topic for debate for about an hour the other day. The Corner moves in mysterious ways. Fucks sake Killer! Always with the balls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 Just now, Eric Cuntman said: Fucks sake Killer! Always with the balls. What a load of bollocks. I mean, how many does he think you've got? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 6 hours ago, Bill Stickers said: Mom? You're not related to sleeve are you? You horrid little cunt! That was a hit below the belt! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 On 7/18/2017 at 10:03 AM, Bill Stickers said: I don't think I've done a shit in the last 5 years that hasn't left skid marks down the right hand side of the bowl. I've analysed my defecating posture but can't find anything amiss. Thoughts? Anal fissures. Jesus once told his desciples 'I will make you fissures of men'. Have you been feeling pious recently? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 12 hours ago, nocti said: You'd have been proud of the one I snipped off this morning, Sticks. It was simultaneously making it's way round the u-bend, and poking up out of the water. Not only is that a feat in itself, but when I went to wipe, I punched the air in celebration upon finding that there wasn't even a smudge to be seen. I even popped the paper back on top of the roll for the wife to use later. Save the planet and all that fucking bollocks. A clean sweep: beyond holy grail... If he was snaking round the bend before detaching, you'd have had no back splash. This can be of real benefit if you get the polar opposite of the aforementioned clean sweep: a bit of help washing away the remnants with a consistency of sump oil, unless you've done a massive orange piss of course.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tata Steely Dan Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 2 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: A clean sweep: beyond holy grail... If he was snaking round the bend before detaching, you'd have had no back splash. This can be of real benefit if you get the polar opposite of the aforementioned clean sweep: a bit of help washing away the remnants with a consistency of sump oil, unless you've done a massive orange piss of course.... Ahha, the old Morning Barnes Wallace. Damning stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 1 hour ago, Tata Steely Dan said: Ahha, the old Morning Barnes Wallace. Damning stuff. The British empire was built on such stiff upper lipped morning routines and look where that got "us" If you're reading this mon cunt I'm sure you're seething that all the foreign darkies don't shit like us good, god fearing Brits, you wankstain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted July 23, 2017 Report Share Posted July 23, 2017 Back from my break to find a classic bill shitters turd related post. As a sufferer of fissures I get a multi coloured display like a dirty barbers pole with a red spiral round it. When a flare up happens I hope for pebble dash, less strain less pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 23, 2017 Report Share Posted July 23, 2017 3 minutes ago, Alfie Noakes said: Back from my break to find a classic bill shitters turd related post. As a sufferer of fissures I get a multi coloured display like a dirty barbers pole with a red spiral round it. When a flare up happens I hope for pebble dash, less strain less pain. Read a few of pens noms. Can turn any intestinal tearing ring buster into arse gravy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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