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Golfing


colonelkurtz

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There's a bloke lives a few doors away who is taking two weeks of his annual leave to watch golfing .. fucking golfing ! He always seemed such a decent type  . As of this morning he's started wearing pink v neck sweaters and dayglo green kecks .  In my book he is now a gold plated top of the range CUNT.

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2 minutes ago, Punkape said:

I shall be at the Open this week for 3 days with VIP access and clubhouse pass. I small lunch under canvas on each of those days.

Hoi-polloi and golf prats will be excluded from the areas I will occupy.

Fuck off.

The only "small lunch under canvas" you will be consuming will be some opportunistic homo's cock under a tarp out the back of the catering tent.

You will find the hoi polloi actually watch the golf, rather than playing with balls and a shaft like you.

You really are an A grade diamond tipped fuckstick.

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Guest Bill Stickers
6 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

You really are an A grade diamond tipped fuckstick.

It won't be diamond, it will be a zirconia. It's punkers. 

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Guest Lady Penelope
20 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

The only "small lunch under canvas" you will be consuming will be some opportunistic homo's cock under a tarp out the back of the catering tent.

You will find the hoi polloi actually watch the golf, rather than playing with balls and a shaft like you.

You really are an A grade diamond tipped fuckstick.

He will be at Haslington Golf Links trying to catch tiddlers in the Valley Brook.

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23 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

The only "small lunch under canvas" you will be consuming will be some opportunistic homo's cock under a tarp out the back of the catering tent.

You will find the hoi polloi actually watch the golf, rather than playing with balls and a shaft like you.

You really are an A grade diamond tipped fuckstick.

All Australians will be excluded from the areas I will be at the Open. The last Australian to be in contention, Adam Scott, filled his trousers over the last 4 holes and lost after leading by 3........

What a cunt.

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Guest 'eavensabove
46 minutes ago, Punkape said:

I shall be at the Open this week for 3 days with VIP access and clubhouse pass. I shall lunch under canvas on each of those days.

Hoi-polloi and golf prats will be excluded from the areas I will occupy.

Fuck off.

Lunching under canvas? Ding's arse. You'll be stuck in the rough fiddling with your caddy boy and the rest of your irons.  

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Guest 'eavensabove
1 minute ago, Punkape said:

I shall be on the terrace in front of the clubhouse on Saturday afternoon and I will be wearing my Panama hat.

Fuck off.

Guessed as much...

man-wearing-a-straw-hat-with-a-multicolo

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Guest 'eavensabove
23 minutes ago, Punkape said:

That's a boater not a panama you thick twat.

It's a fat gay man in a hat, as so too are You.

"Rick"  Punkape called me a twat! 

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4 hours ago, colonelkurtz said:

There's a bloke lives a few doors away who is taking two weeks of his annual leave to watch golfing .. fucking golfing ! He always seemed such a decent type  . As of this morning he's started wearing pink v neck sweaters and dayglo green kecks .  In my book he is now a gold plated top of the range CUNT.

Golf's for irons 

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27 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Golf's for irons 

Saw some golfists stuff on the news and it looks a shite set up .. there's no sign of that windmill tunnel or zigzag road or hump back bridge over the river or that lighthouse thing .. nothing , absolutely nothing . So yes , it's definitely a bag of shite and for irons, and cunts as well and probably all the rage in Surrey [although I see the match is being played in Merseyside Lite]

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43 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

You should try it sometime to wash down your roasted urban hedgehog garden-pit meals, instead of your usual witches brew of newt testicles, geriatrics' jizz and stolen NHS diazepam.

I don't mind a drop of real ale, it's the cunts who fucking sniff it, hold it up to the light, swill it and then begin to talk a load of bollocks about it. 

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45 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I don't mind a drop of real ale, it's the cunts who fucking sniff it, hold it up to the light, swill it and then begin to talk a load of bollocks about it. 

The only time to hold up a glass and swill it is to check whether it's cloudy, otherwise you'll end up with a case of the shits.

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