Ape™️ Posted July 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 35 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Ape, you need to begin constructing a lexan plastic bomber with a 50 pound payload capacity....power it with either a pair of lawn mower engines or four chainsaw engines, and strafe the cunt with the most noxious, toxic, vile concoction your mind can dream up. Or just load it with petrol and crash it into the cladding of his bedsit. It'd be easier, and just as effective, to chuck a Molotov through his cage door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 9 minutes ago, Ape said: It'd be easier, and just as effective, to chuck a Molotov through his cage door. Fair point. But think of the re-uses! Frank? Quince? Any cunt in the general public? The French? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Wizardsleeve said: Fair point. But think of the re-uses! Frank? Quince? Any cunt in the general public? The French? 'Eavens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 12 minutes ago, Ape said: 'Eavens. Take off, nuke him from orbit...it's the only way to be sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 Not a problem if you drive a 18 year old citroën van... nobody parks near ya.. ..buying nice cars is a cunts game Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 I have to ask but, was it one of the back doors Ape? If it was, then I think it may have been me or one of 6 other gentlemen that was trying to 'smash them in'. Lol. You Bloo Funder muppet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 6 hours ago, Ape said: Tomorrow I am replacing Mrs A's car with something a bit bigger, and consequently will be returning her current vehicle. It's always been looked after, kept clean, properly maintained and parked sensibly. Today, whilst parked in the school carpark, where it spends every working day, some utter piece of shit has managed to park unnecessarily close - there are no spaces marked and it's very big, and smash a door into it so hard as to crease the door skin. So the condition report I gave to the garage during the purchase of the new car, that there was absolutely no bodywork damage, is no longer true. I sincerely hope the cunt responsible is diagnosed with tertiary herpees [sic] and AIDS. Fuckin hell Ape....I can't bare to say this but for fuckin once and I mean once I totally fucking agree with this nom. I have had two doors creased whilst parked at work. So now park out of way in corner away from main car park. The last time it happened I watched back the cctv and caught the fucker. Delivery van driver practically smashed the door open on his van repeatedly into my M3. confronted him, then sacked the cunt on the spot for opening his mouth. Had the pleasure of saying I hope you have a large mortgage kids and a wife to go home to with no pay packet. he threatened to scratch the M3. So I told him I would arrange for 3 black men to walk into his house one Saturday afternoon and scratch his kids faces with stanleys if he wanted to play that game. I have all his personal details he has none of mine. Go tell the Mrs that tonight see what she says. Now fuck off you cunt and don't be so fucking cheap. i stopped short of injecting him with aids as you suggest, but maybe we could send Frank round to do that with his filthy cock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 9 minutes ago, Monumental cunt said: Fuckin hell Ape....I can't bare to say this but for fuckin once and I mean once I totally fucking agree with this nom. I have had two doors creased whilst parked at work. So now park out of way in corner away from main car park. The last time it happened I watched back the cctv and caught the fucker. Delivery van driver practically smashed the door open on his van repeatedly into my M3. confronted him, then sacked the cunt on the spot for opening his mouth. Had the pleasure of saying I hope you have a large mortgage kids and a wife to go home to with no pay packet. he threatened to scratch the M3. So I told him I would arrange for 3 black men to walk into his house one Saturday afternoon and scratch his kids faces with stanleys if he wanted to play that game. I have all his personal details he has none of mine. Go tell the Mrs that tonight see what she says. Now fuck off you cunt and don't be so fucking cheap. i stopped short of injecting him with aids as you suggest, but maybe we could send Frank round to do that with his filthy cock. Utter, utter fucking drivel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 7 hours ago, Ape said: Tomorrow I am replacing Mrs A's car with something a bit bigger, and consequently will be returning her current vehicle. It's always been looked after, kept clean, properly maintained and parked sensibly. Today, whilst parked in the school carpark, where it spends every working day, some utter piece of shit has managed to park unnecessarily close - there are no spaces marked and it's very big, and smash a door into it so hard as to crease the door skin. So the condition report I gave to the garage during the purchase of the new car, that there was absolutely no bodywork damage, is no longer true. I sincerely hope the cunt responsible is diagnosed with tertiary herpees [sic] and AIDS. The only thing worse than that is when it happens when your car is 2 days old. I can only hope the cunt who did that has had a few sleepless nights worrying if they were on CCTV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest N/A Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 14 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Utter, utter fucking drivel. Wipe your spastic window licking face then if it's slavering down the sunshine coach window ....you drivelling cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 2 hours ago, Panzerknacker said: Not a problem if you drive a 18 year old citroën van... nobody parks near ya.. ..buying nice cars is a cunts game Panzerknacker Does it say PLEASE WASH ME on the back by any chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 5 hours ago, nobgobbler said: Does it say PLEASE WASH ME on the back by any chance? The pikey fucking freeloader probably has one of those hilarious stickers that goes something like "IF YOU CAN READ THIS I'VE LOST MY CARAVAN" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 21, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 6 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: Fuckin hell Ape....I can't bare to say this but for fuckin once and I mean once I totally fucking agree with this nom. I have had two doors creased whilst parked at work. So now park out of way in corner away from main car park. The last time it happened I watched back the cctv and caught the fucker. Delivery van driver practically smashed the door open on his van repeatedly into my M3. confronted him, then sacked the cunt on the spot for opening his mouth. Had the pleasure of saying I hope you have a large mortgage kids and a wife to go home to with no pay packet. he threatened to scratch the M3. So I told him I would arrange for 3 black men to walk into his house one Saturday afternoon and scratch his kids faces with stanleys if he wanted to play that game. I have all his personal details he has none of mine. Go tell the Mrs that tonight see what she says. Now fuck off you cunt and don't be so fucking cheap. i stopped short of injecting him with aids as you suggest, but maybe we could send Frank round to do that with his filthy cock. But if some delivery driver were to repeatedly smash his door into the door of my M3, I should say...... Anyway, what car was it again? Wanker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 8 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: Delivery van driver practically smashed the door open on his van repeatedly into my M3. Bollocks. 8 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: confronted him, then sacked the cunt on the spot for opening his mouth. Bollocks. 8 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: So I told him I would arrange for 3 black men to walk into his house one Saturday afternoon and scratch his kids faces with stanleys if he wanted to play that game. Absolute and utter bollocks. 8 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: i stopped short of injecting him with aids as you suggest Unlikely that you didn't infect him during unprotected anal intercourse but vaguely plausible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 11 hours ago, Punkape said: Fuck off rent-boy. I think it's time to hang up the ballgag and pink thong now Spunks. You're tired, and you'd be out of your fucking depth on a freshly mopped floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 8 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: Wipe your spastic window licking face then if it's slavering down the sunshine coach window ....you drivelling cunt. Superb. I'm absolutely in awe of someone who writes in a way that seems they'd struggle with Key Stage 2 English lessons; manages to hold down a £250k a year job whilst operating as a Batman-esque vigilante to keep the local foreign scum in check, and has time to regale the Corner with his particular brand of bullshit. Idiot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 4 minutes ago, Bubba C said: Superb. I'm absolutely in awe of someone who writes in a way that seems they'd struggle with Key Stage 2 English lessons; manages to hold down a £250k a year job whilst operating as a Batman-esque vigilante to keep the local foreign scum in check, and has time to regale the Corner with his particular brand of bullshit. Idiot. Funnily enough, he dresses as Batman during one of his other jobs, holding up the Subway placards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba C Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 2 minutes ago, nocti said: Funnily enough, he dresses as Batman during one of his other jobs, holding up the Subway placards. A cunt's gotta eat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 1 hour ago, nocti said: I think it's time to hang up the ballgag and pink thong now Spunks. You're tired, and you'd be out of your fucking depth on a freshly mopped floor. You disgusting, depraved cretin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 4 minutes ago, Punkape said: You disgusting, depraved cretin. What's your point? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 10 hours ago, nobgobbler said: Does it say PLEASE WASH ME on the back by any chance? No nobs baby it just says CITROËN DISPATCH in chrome plated plastic and there may be a sticker from the garage it was bought from that's probably a mosque now Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hokey Gingers Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 Dent puller is what you want. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 11 hours ago, Monumental cunt said: Fuckin hell Ape....I can't bare to say this but for fuckin once and I mean once I totally fucking agree with this nom. I have had two doors creased whilst parked at work. So now park out of way in corner away from main car park. The last time it happened I watched back the cctv and caught the fucker. Delivery van driver practically smashed the door open on his van repeatedly into my M3. confronted him, then sacked the cunt on the spot for opening his mouth. Had the pleasure of saying I hope you have a large mortgage kids and a wife to go home to with no pay packet. he threatened to scratch the M3. So I told him I would arrange for 3 black men to walk into his house one Saturday afternoon and scratch his kids faces with stanleys if he wanted to play that game. I have all his personal details he has none of mine. Go tell the Mrs that tonight see what she says. Now fuck off you cunt and don't be so fucking cheap. i stopped short of injecting him with aids as you suggest, but maybe we could send Frank round to do that with his filthy cock. Errrrm. I also read Apes missive and just as with like you It I think it deserving of some merit. However, my thoughts soon changed when he said the door creased his foreskin, which is what he meant, but the cunt hasn't got a prick as such, he's got little chopper, which dismisses his observation and renders it completely unbelievable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 21, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: Errrrm. I also read Apes missive and just as with like you It I think it deserving of some merit. However, my thoughts soon changed when he said the door creased his foreskin, which is what he meant, but the cunt hasn't got a prick as such, he's got little chopper, which dismisses his observation and renders it completely unbelievable. Do you honestly believe that there is anything remotely funny about what you've written here? I'm almost embarrassed for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 17 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said: Is your ladyboy your dinner? lol Fuck off Loves a tube steak does Spunkers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.