Ape™️ Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 Tomorrow I am replacing Mrs A's car with something a bit bigger, and consequently will be returning her current vehicle. It's always been looked after, kept clean, properly maintained and parked sensibly. Today, whilst parked in the school carpark, where it spends every working day, some utter piece of shit has managed to park unnecessarily close - there are no spaces marked and it's very big, and smash a door into it so hard as to crease the door skin. So the condition report I gave to the garage during the purchase of the new car, that there was absolutely no bodywork damage, is no longer true. I sincerely hope the cunt responsible is diagnosed with tertiary herpees [sic] and AIDS. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dr. Quim Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 It's usually fatties that do this. Can't haul their bulk out of the car unless the door is as far open as it can go --yet another reason to kill everyone above their BMI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 16 minutes ago, Ape said: Tomorrow I am replacing Mrs A's car with something a bit bigger, and consequently will be returning her current vehicle. It's always been looked after, kept clean, properly maintained and parked sensibly. Today, whilst parked in the school carpark, where it spends every working day, some utter piece of shit has managed to park unnecessarily close - there are no spaces marked and it's very big, and smash a door into it so hard as to crease the door skin. So the condition report I gave to the garage during the purchase of the new car, that there was absolutely no bodywork damage, is no longer true. I sincerely hope the cunt responsible is diagnosed with tertiary herpees [sic] and AIDS. Are you the subnormal school janitor ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Drew P Pissflaps Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 Can't you tidy it up with some polystyrene cement and some Humbrol paint you big fucking flid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 Does Ape park in school car parks so he doesn't get a ticket in TESCO for overstaying. Or does he begrudge paying parking charges even though that is the main income of "The Rampant Coyotes", his gay line dancing troupe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 At the beginning of The initial post, it clearly states that the car in question belongs to Mrs Ape. Perhaps it's her that works in a school and that would explain why the car is parked in a school car park. Just saying. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 No point in having a decent car when these fucking flids can't even get out of their cars properly due to their gunts getting in the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 19 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: At the beginning of The initial post, it clearly states that the car in question belongs to Mrs Ape. Perhaps it's her that works in a school and that would explain why the car is parked in a school car park. Just saying. Don't worry Eric, what seems obvious to those of us with some intelligence is a mystery to the thickies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 25 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: At the beginning of The initial post, it clearly states that the car in question belongs to Mrs Ape. Perhaps it's her that works in a school and that would explain why the car is parked in a school car park. Just saying. ... Picking up Ape. He goes to night school to learn watch repairing & model craft and how to read in the dark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 "No point in having a decent car when these fucking flids can't even get out of their cars properly due to their gunts getting in the way." Neil makes a good point here, and makes the case for importing an antique American piece of slammer iron, say a 1963 Lincoln with rear suicide doors...fill the panels with cement, and do in any cunt that gets in your path. These old land barge fucking monstrosities will burn a tank of gas just getting out of the garage. They take two bays to park, and you need a pilots licence just to operate the fucking thing, as they aren't driven, you aim and glide them down the road. Yao Ming couldn't see over the fucking dash panel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 Is your wife a "dinner lady"? lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 9 minutes ago, Punkape said: Is your wife a "dinner lady"? lol. Is your ladyboy your dinner? lol Fuck off Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 2 minutes ago, Wizardsleeve said: Is your ladyboy your dinner? lol Fuck off Your dinner will be the tackle of your live-in Lithuanian lover and rent boy. fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 17 minutes ago, Punkape said: Is your wife a "dinner lady"? lol. I cannot discuss what my wife does without a common frame of reference. When you've got one, a female one, we'll talk. Until then, fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 6 minutes ago, Ape said: I cannot discuss what my wife does without a common frame of reference. When you've got one, a female one, we'll talk. Until then, fuck off. Did you meet her in Tesco ? Does she make model aircraft with you ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 Just now, Punkape said: Did you meet her Tesco ? She hasn't got a Tesco. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 7 minutes ago, Punkape said: Your dinner will be the tackle of your live-in Lithuanian lover and rent boy. fuck off. I sure do hope you get seated under the foil covered canvas, tied to a wire grid on the ground with steel cable secured to a lightning rod! Sort of skinner box for total fucking uncouth savage cunts and worthless poofter Mitty types, such as yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 Poor old Punkape - drunk on spunk again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 5 minutes ago, Punkape said: Did you meet her in Tesco ? Does she make model aircraft with you ? Nicely corrected, fuckface. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Ape said: Nicely corrected, fuckface. Ape, you need to begin constructing a lexan plastic bomber with a 50 pound payload capacity....power it with either a pair of lawn mower engines or four chainsaw engines, and strafe the cunt with the most noxious, toxic, vile concoction your mind can dream up. Or just load it with petrol and crash it into the cladding of his bedsit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 1 minute ago, Ape said: Nicely corrected, fuckface. How's your herpees and gonneeroehea ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 Just now, Wizardsleeve said: Ape, you need to begin constructing a lexan plastic bomber with a 50 pound payload capacity....power it with either a pair of lawn mower engines or four chainsaw engines, and strafe the cunt with the most noxious, toxic, vile concoction your mind can dream up. Or just load it with petrol and crash it into the cladding of his bedsit. Fuck off rent-boy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 38 minutes ago, Punkape said: Your dinner will be the tackle of your live-in Lithuanian lover and rent boy. fuck off. Reported for stereotyping Lithuanian rent boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 7 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: Reported for stereotyping Lithuanian rent boys. Pen, you little grass! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 20, 2017 Report Share Posted July 20, 2017 47 minutes ago, Punkape said: Your dinner will be the tackle of your live-in Lithuanian lover and rent boy. fuck off. You canal street cocksucker, please kill yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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