Jump to content
CUNTS CORNER TWITTER ACCOUNT ID @CuntsCorner ×
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

People Who Live Past 100


Guest Wizardsleeve

Recommended Posts

Guest Wizardsleeve

Fuck me, these bastards just need to die, already!  If I hear or see one more of these coffin dodgers' relatives getting mention on the tele for living so long, I'll clad their house and strike the match myself!  There is no accomplishment in living well past your usefulness.  Can't work, can't contribute to society, absorb medical resources like locusts, and refuse to fucking die so their estate can be developed into another strip mall, in the name of commerce and progress.  They gum their fucking food to death, and mistakenly believe they've swallowed when in reality, the brutalized pice of innocent food falls out of their slobbering fucking gob onto the table, where everybody contains their laughter and nausea so they don't offend.  They keep loitering about, defying all techniques proven to work in Dignitas, tearing through the accumulated wealth that could be put to better use by the heirs with entrepreneurial spirit.  They lay in what should be their shit and pissed soaked death beds, looking like skin stretched over bones, a corpse that still has a heartbeat.  

FUCK OFF already.  You've been mourned for the last 80 years, cunts!  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Gong Farmer

My mother in law is 75 today so fuck knows how much longer I've got to wait for our inheritance that's going to be enough for us to pay the mortgage off and retire. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Hector
On 20/07/2017 at 7:57 PM, Wizardsleeve said:

Fuck me, these bastards just need to die, already!  If I hear or see one more of these coffin dodgers' relatives getting mention on the tele for living so long, I'll clad their house and strike the match myself!  There is no accomplishment in living well past your usefulness.  Can't work, can't contribute to society, absorb medical resources like locusts, and refuse to fucking die so their estate can be developed into another strip mall, in the name of commerce and progress.  They gum their fucking food to death, and mistakenly believe they've swallowed when in reality, the brutalized pice of innocent food falls out of their slobbering fucking gob onto the table, where everybody contains their laughter and nausea so they don't offend.  They keep loitering about, defying all techniques proven to work in Dignitas, tearing through the accumulated wealth that could be put to better use by the heirs with entrepreneurial spirit.  They lay in what should be their shit and pissed soaked death beds, looking like skin stretched over bones, a corpse that still has a heartbeat.  

FUCK OFF already.  You've been mourned for the last 80 years, cunts!  

I hope you live to be two hundred you rancid old cunt, if only to see you squirm around in your fetid, stinking filth. Nibbling away at your flaccid, maggoty nob wishing you had shagged at least one woman in your pathetic, infantile life.  No doubt there will be no one to care for you or give a monkey's shit either way let alone mourn for you. You ridiculous fucking cunt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, Mac Spunk said:

I hope you live to be two hundred you rancid old cunt, if only to see you squirm around in your fetid, stinking filth. Nibbling away at your flaccid, maggoty nob wishing you had shagged at least one woman in your pathetic, infantile life.  No doubt there will be no one to care for you or give a monkey's shit either way let alone mourn for you. You ridiculous fucking cunt.

Afternoon, hector. Alright? 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Hector
13 minutes ago, Bubba C said:

Afternoon, hector. Alright? 

No, I'm fucking not. It was my 110 birthday yesterday and my main present was haemorrhoids from nowhere. Luckily, for the giver, I had never had them before, and in the event I felt the need to vent my ire on Wizzardsleeve. No doubt the cunt deserves it.

How are you, Bubba?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Mac Spunk said:

No, I'm fucking not. It was my 110 birthday yesterday and my main present was haemorrhoids from nowhere. Luckily, for the giver, I had never had them before, and in the event I felt the need to vent my ire on Wizzardsleeve. No doubt the cunt deserves it.

How are you, Bubba?

Very well, thanks for asking. Happy birthday for yesterday. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Bill Stickers
1 hour ago, Mac Spunk said:

I hope you live to be two hundred you rancid old cunt, if only to see you squirm around in your fetid, stinking filth. Nibbling away at your flaccid, maggoty nob wishing you had shagged at least one woman in your pathetic, infantile life.  No doubt there will be no one to care for you or give a monkey's shit either way let alone mourn for you. You ridiculous fucking cunt.

A little verbose. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

A little verbose. 

Bill, you're an academic of sorts. Against my best advice, my daughter is off to Edinburgh university in September to study History of fucking Art. Is there such a thing as a 'non-vocational' degree? She won't talk to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Frank said:

Bill, you're an academic of sorts. Against my best advice, my daughter is off to Edinburgh university in September to study History of fucking Art. Is there such a thing as a 'non-vocational' degree? She won't talk to me.

Fucking hell, it seems like only yesterday that her school timetable was pinned to your somewhat-underwhelming fridge.

I'll PM her details to Quincy. Once he's got her hooked on skag and on the game, the pre-Raphaelite movement will be the least of your worries.

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest JackoTC
On ‎20‎/‎07‎/‎2017 at 7:57 PM, Wizardsleeve said:

Fuck me, these bastards just need to die, already!  If I hear or see one more of these coffin dodgers' relatives getting mention on the tele for living so long, I'll clad their house and strike the match myself!  There is no accomplishment in living well past your usefulness.  Can't work, can't contribute to society, absorb medical resources like locusts, and refuse to fucking die so their estate can be developed into another strip mall, in the name of commerce and progress.  They gum their fucking food to death, and mistakenly believe they've swallowed when in reality, the brutalized pice of innocent food falls out of their slobbering fucking gob onto the table, where everybody contains their laughter and nausea so they don't offend.  They keep loitering about, defying all techniques proven to work in Dignitas, tearing through the accumulated wealth that could be put to better use by the heirs with entrepreneurial spirit.  They lay in what should be their shit and pissed soaked death beds, looking like skin stretched over bones, a corpse that still has a heartbeat.  

FUCK OFF already.  You've been mourned for the last 80 years, cunts!  

Just awful. I'm mourning the death of comedy in your noms. Poor dullard.

Just as well I'm back - I'm one of the best ones on here (Ed's been nicking that line in my absence)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, JackoTC said:

Just awful. I'm mourning the death of comedy in your noms. Poor dullard.

Just as well I'm back - I'm one of the best ones on here (Ed's been nicking that line in my absence)

What did you study at uni, Jackie. Can you offer any sound fatherly advice?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest JackoTC

Alas, nothing Francois. Left grammar school at sixteen and straight to work. Ma famille were outraged. I was keen on the sauce at an early age and needed the lolly for such.

My lass went to St Andrews last year - doing Kraut, Dago and some Carpet speak - she's bright and tee total. I'm hoping she'll keep me in Stolly if I see it through the next few years.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 hours ago, Gong Farmer said:

My mother in law is 75 today so fuck knows how much longer I've got to wait for our inheritance that's going to be enough for us to pay the mortgage off and retire. 

Cunts like your MIL like bath 'bombs'. Buy her a ball of potassium for Christmas. Who knows, it might even lodge in her salmon glove!

VOTE RAT X

Link to comment
Share on other sites

29 minutes ago, JackoTC said:

Alas, nothing Francois. Left grammar school at sixteen and straight to work. Ma famille were outraged. I was keen on the sauce at an early age and needed the lolly for such.

My lass went to St Andrews last year - doing Kraut, Dago and some Carpet speak - she's bright and tee total. I'm hoping she'll keep me in Stolly if I see it through the next few years.....

The other day you might recall that I asked how close you were to the Grenfell.. hoping we'd pick up from where we left off.

Your response was poor.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Frank said:

The other day you might recall that I asked you how close you were to the Grenfell.. hoping we'd pick up from where we left off.

Your response was poor.

If I go for political office I'll need a running mate Frankie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

38 minutes ago, Frank said:

What did you study at uni, Jackie. Can you offer any sound fatherly advice?

 

33 minutes ago, JackoTC said:

Alas, nothing Francois. Left grammar school at sixteen and straight to work. Ma famille were outraged. I was keen on the sauce at an early age and needed the lolly for such.

My lass went to St Andrews last year - doing Kraut, Dago and some Carpet speak - she's bright and tee total. I'm hoping she'll keep me in Stolly if I see it through the next few years.....

 

26 minutes ago, Frank said:

The other day you might recall that I asked how close you were to the Grenfell.. hoping we'd pick up from where we left off.

Your response was poor.

Truly fucking awful. Reminiscent of the last Eric and Ernie Christmas special. Tired, stale, self-congratulatory, back slapping bollocks. Indulge your vainglorious shite elsewhere.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest JackoTC
58 minutes ago, Frank said:

The other day you might recall that I asked how close you were to the Grenfell.. hoping we'd pick up from where we left off.

Your response was poor.

I did respond and no reply was the answer. I am not myself. Forgive.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest JackoTC
28 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Truly fucking awful. Reminiscent of the last Eric and Ernie Christmas special. Tired, stale, self-congratulatory, back slapping bollocks. Indulge your vainglorious shite elsewhere.

The green eyed monster rears its ugly head again. You just don't have what we have I'm afraid. Console yourself with the thought that you are loved by most of the slack jawed plebs on here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest JackoTC
26 minutes ago, Frank said:

Never mind. I'm really very fond of you Jackie. 

I know. Its why I'm back. Latterly, we were the best ones on here. Sure Bill and Ed had their moments, but I couldn't cope with the biff handed masses and their spastic ramblings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 minutes ago, JackoTC said:

I know. Its why I'm back. Latterly, we were the best ones on here. Sure Bill and Ed had their moments, but I couldn't cope with the biff handed masses and their spastic ramblings.

I bought a brown linen suit in Richard James this afternoon. Beautiful with the lattice Bottega Veneta unlined chukka. What you wearing this summer?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Bill Stickers
16 minutes ago, Frank said:

I bought a brown linen suit in Richard James this afternoon. Beautiful with the lattice Bottega Veneta unlined chukka. What you wearing this summer?

Brown? Bet you look like a coffin dodger.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...