Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 When one is feeling crook, under the weather off colour or dare I open the floodgates, a bit a queer and not yer usual self, the very last cunt you need to listen to is a Doctor's Receptionist. They make you feel ten times fucking worse with their total & utter incompetence. "How can I help" they grin whilst giving some other cunt their own diagnosis over the phone, and at the same time as other poor cunts are placed on hold... "I'm ill you cunt" you reply, "I want me Doctor" you belch, as if it's gonna get you anywhere. "Oooooh, I think he'll be far too busy, call in tomorrow or phone back before 3:00am and I'll try to make you an appointment for sometime next month" and then come the words you just know are coming.. "What do you want the Doctor for? What is wrong with you? Tell me the symptoms" she says before hanging up on the dying fuckers on hold and everybody in the queue and the waiting room get excited to learn everything about you, your embarrassing & personal problems, date of birth and to make their own assessments too about whether or not you need a Doctor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 I bet you're very familiar with doctors' receptionists with all the time you spend at Broadmoor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 'eavensabove Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 1 minute ago, Wolfie said: I bet you're very familiar with doctors' receptionists with all the time you spend at Broadmoor. Familiar being the word. I'd recommend you getting one for yourself to replace your hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 Glass, rape, set on fire and repeat. It's the only language these cunts understand. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 The difference between a Doctors receptionist and God?...............God doesn't think he's a doctors receptionist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 It wasn't like that at my GP practice, I could usually get to see my GP within a couple of days. He got pissed off with all the bureaucracy and government inspections though and took early retirement, then his partner got a job abroad. Now it's part of a big practice and if I'm very lucky I might be able to see a locum who knows nothing about me within the next week or so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 11 minutes ago, Rick_B said: It wasn't like that at my GP practice, I could usually get to see my GP within a couple of days. He got pissed off with all the bureaucracy and government inspections though and took early retirement, then his partner got a job abroad. Now it's part of a big practice and if I'm very lucky I might be able to see a locum who knows nothing about me within the next week or so. A lot of surgeries are becoming like that, you make an appointment to see A Doctor, not YOUR Doctor, not good for patients with an ongoing problem, and a bit of a lottery, you either get a good one or you end up with a jaded, disinterested cunt who couldn't care less. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 19 minutes ago, Rick_B said: It wasn't like that at my GP practice, I could usually get to see my GP within a couple of days. He got pissed off with all the bureaucracy and government inspections though and took early retirement, then his partner got a job abroad. Now it's part of a big practice and if I'm very lucky I might be able to see a locum who knows nothing about me within the next week or so. I got fed up with my GP constantly trying to hawk supplements from his wife's "nutrition company", so I now self-diagnose and self-medicate using horse tranquilisers sourced from the deep web. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 Just now, Cuntybaws said: I got fed up with my GP constantly trying to hawk supplements from his wife's "nutrition company", so I now self-diagnose and self-medicate using horse tranquilisers sourced from the deep web. Have you got anything which could cure the idiocy that afflicts 'eavens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 (edited) These cunts must take bets amongst themselves. "I'll give you evens on that cunt coming out crying......and no I haven't read the Aids ridden cunt's file." Edited July 21, 2017 by Ollyboro Come Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 16 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: These cunts must take bets amongst themselves. "I'll give you evens on that cunt coming out crying......and no I haven't read the Aids ridden cunt's file." Olly I've been listening to Kate's '50 Words For Snow' all week. I'm not feeling great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 4 minutes ago, Frank said: Olly I've been listening to Kate's '50 Words For Snow' all week. I'm not feeling great. Olly and I have reached a private accord via PM. You're no longer welcome here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 5 minutes ago, Frank said: Olly I've been listening to Kate's '50 Words For Snow' all week. I'm not feeling great. Cancer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 1 minute ago, Ape said: Cancer? Afraid so, Ape... rare bone marrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 Just now, Frank said: Afraid so, Ape... rare bone marrow. Shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 12 minutes ago, Frank said: Olly I've been listening to Kate's '50 Words For Snow' all week. I'm not feeling great. What? That pile of husky shit she recorded and involved Stephen Fry in? Her follow up is called "50 Words For Frank". I reckon "arse" and "arsehole" should only count as one. Good Evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 2 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: When one is feeling crook, under the weather off colour or dare I open the floodgates, a bit a queer and not yer usual self, the very last cunt you need to listen to is a Doctor's Receptionist. They make you feel ten times fucking worse with their total & utter incompetence. "How can I help" they grin whilst giving some other cunt their own diagnosis over the phone, and at the same time as other poor cunts are placed on hold... "I'm ill you cunt" you reply, "I want me Doctor" you belch, as if it's gonna get you anywhere. "Oooooh, I think he'll be far too busy, call in tomorrow or phone back before 3:00am and I'll try to make you an appointment for sometime next month" and then come the words you just know are coming.. "What do you want the Doctor for? What is wrong with you? Tell me the symptoms" she says before hanging up on the dying fuckers on hold and everybody in the queue and the waiting room get excited to learn everything about you, your embarrassing & personal problems, date of birth and to make their own assessments too about whether or not you need a Doctor. The receptionist has to ask your problem because it may be something that either the nurse practitioner or the nurse can deal with. If you didn't tell her and she put you in to see the Dr and it turns out you want your ears syrynged, than you are taking up a Dr's valuable time. He/she will tell you to fuck off and he/she will spend the spare 15 minutes or so on Betfair website and she will be spending money on ASOS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 5 minutes ago, Ollyboro said: What? That pile of husky shit she recorded and involved Stephen Fry in? Her follow up is called "50 Words For Frank". I reckon "arse" and "arsehole" should only count as one. Good Evening. Here she is with Rolf, Ol. His intro is just sublime! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 9 minutes ago, Frank said: Here she is with Rolf, Ol. His intro is just sublime! Alas, Frank, I shan't be clicking on it. The last time I clicked on a link of yours featuring a convicted nonce, I narrowly avoided a prison sentence. Good evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 4 hours ago, 'eavensabove said: When one is feeling crook, under the weather off colour or dare I open the floodgates, a bit a queer and not yer usual self, the very last cunt you need to listen to is a Doctor's Receptionist. They make you feel ten times fucking worse with their total & utter incompetence. "How can I help" they grin whilst giving some other cunt their own diagnosis over the phone, and at the same time as other poor cunts are placed on hold... "I'm ill you cunt" you reply, "I want me Doctor" you belch, as if it's gonna get you anywhere. "Oooooh, I think he'll be far too busy, call in tomorrow or phone back before 3:00am and I'll try to make you an appointment for sometime next month" and then come the words you just know are coming.. "What do you want the Doctor for? What is wrong with you? Tell me the symptoms" she says before hanging up on the dying fuckers on hold and everybody in the queue and the waiting room get excited to learn everything about you, your embarrassing & personal problems, date of birth and to make their own assessments too about whether or not you need a Doctor. I despise these fucktards. After 15 minutes, when you've got through the "for appointments press 1, to cancel an appointment press 2, for test results press 3, for emergency press 4, if you have died while waiting, press 5, to hear these options again press or 0 or ring back later" debacle, you should tell the cunt you got your hand stuck down the waste disposal and when you pulled it out all your fingers were missing and blood was spurting out all over. So you tried to fish them out with your other hand and when you pulled it out all your other fingers on your other hand are now missing and even more blood is spurting all over. You have had to phone up using only your thumbs, and you have lost so much blood you are feeling rather faint. Ask her if it's anything to worry about or should you just carry on doing the washing up in which case apologise for wasting her valuable time. If you hear "greensleeves" the cunt has put you on hold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 3 hours ago, Rick_B said: It wasn't like that at my GP practice, I could usually get to see my GP within a couple of days. He got pissed off with all the bureaucracy and government inspections though and took early retirement, then his partner got a job abroad. Now it's part of a big practice and if I'm very lucky I might be able to see a locum who knows nothing about me within the next week or so. Fear not, Rick. The locums will soon ascertain years of non-stop wild partying and a penchant for entertaining prostitutes with guitars and cocaine have led to your regular visits to the practice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: A lot of surgeries are becoming like that, you make an appointment to see A Doctor, not YOUR Doctor, not good for patients with an ongoing problem, and a bit of a lottery, you either get a good one or you end up with a jaded, disinterested cunt who couldn't care less. They have to assign you a doctor though, so they have. I've never met him, but that doesn't matter because they have ticked the box. In fairness to the locum he was OK, but it's not the same as having someone who knows you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick_B Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 20 minutes ago, Wolfie said: Fear not, Rick. The locums will soon ascertain years of non-stop wild partying and a penchant for entertaining prostitutes with guitars and cocaine have led to your regular visits to the practice. You may, doubtless quite innocently, have overestimated the extent of my hedonistic past somewhat. FYI I have never had a "penchant" for entertaining prostitutes and only ever took very small amounts of cocaine on just a few occasions. Not my thing at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 17 minutes ago, Rick_B said: You may, doubtless quite innocently, have overestimated the extent of my hedonistic past somewhat. FYI I have never had a "penchant" for entertaining prostitutes and only ever took very small amounts of cocaine on just a few occasions. Not my thing at all. You don't like sniffing coke and fucking hookers? So you are a poof after all. Very rock n roll. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted July 21, 2017 Report Share Posted July 21, 2017 20 minutes ago, Rick_B said: You may, doubtless quite innocently, have overestimated the extent of my hedonistic past somewhat. FYI I have never had a "penchant" for entertaining prostitutes and only ever took very small amounts of cocaine on just a few occasions. Not my thing at all. So you use class A drugs.... Reported to the Police.....expect a knock on the door... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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