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Shouty 'Morning' Radio DJs


Wolfie

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There are few things more infuriating than some loud, hyperactive, excessively happy cunt hogging the airwaves first thing each day, which, despite being designed to get people in the right frame of mind, generally leaves me feeling angry and bewildered as to why someone acting like a fucking drunk teenage prick on speed is allowed to broadcast live in the first place. It's an insult to the intelligence of millions listening.

Should radio programmers or people of such ilk ever read this, please note that when I am leader of the Fourth Reich, anyone known to have practiced morning radio cuntery in the shape of being brash, mouthy and falsely jubilant will be, prior to being hunted with dogs and fatally set on fire with lighter fuel, thrown in the same cell as 'Eavens, Welsh Cunt and Ding for 24 hours.

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47 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

There are few things more infuriating than some loud, hyperactive, excessively happy cunt hogging the airwaves first thing each day, which, despite being designed to get people in the right frame of mind, generally leaves me feeling angry and bewildered as to why someone acting like a fucking drunk teenage prick on speed is allowed to broadcast live in the first place. It's an insult to the intelligence of millions listening.

Should radio programmers or people of such ilk ever read this, please note that when I am leader of the Fourth Reich, anyone known to have practiced morning radio cuntery in the shape of being brash, mouthy and falsely jubilant will be, prior to being hunted with dogs and fatally set on fire with lighter fuel, thrown in the same cell as 'Eavens, Welsh Cunt and Ding for 24 hours.

And hopefully condemned to spend eternity in the same circle of hell as Jimmy Savile.. especially that mumbling fat tongued cunt Moyles.

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Guest Wizardsleeve

I refuse to listen to radio any more. The alarm has an annoying chirping to it, that will set your nerve endings ablaze to get out of bed and despise the day ahead before getting started. Perfect mindset for the excruciating cunts at work. The MP3 player takes over for the day until I return home to the shrill screeching of my beloved wife about not putting our morning dishes in the washer.  Whiskey takes over then. 

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4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

And hopefully condemned to spend eternity in the same circle of hell as Jimmy Savile.. especially that mumbling fat tongued cunt Moyles.

Look at this fucking annoying prick. (It's a Sunday show but thankfully 'morning' clips are in short supply.)

 

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Guest Mingeeta
1 hour ago, Punkape said:

Ian Brady and Myra Hindley never got the chance to present Tiswas.....

And again.......... What a complete twat you are.

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Guest Mingeeta
3 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

I'm sorry you found it challenging, Frank. Would it help if I rewrite a children's version?

He was having a fit while trying to reply, you have to excuse him.

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4 hours ago, Wolfie said:

There are few things more infuriating than some loud, hyperactive, excessively happy cunt hogging the airwaves first thing each day, which, despite being designed to get people in the right frame of mind, generally leaves me feeling angry and bewildered as to why someone acting like a fucking drunk teenage prick on speed is allowed to broadcast live in the first place. It's an insult to the intelligence of millions listening.

Should radio programmers or people of such ilk ever read this, please note that when I am leader of the Fourth Reich, anyone known to have practiced morning radio cuntery in the shape of being brash, mouthy and falsely jubilant will be, prior to being hunted with dogs and fatally set on fire with lighter fuel, thrown in the same cell as 'Eavens, Welsh Cunt and Ding for 24 hours.

Worst is Chris fucking Moyles, who IMO has ruined Radio X. This fucker loves the sound of his own voice and actually clocks up 23-26 minutes between records. Getting near to Christmas, he and his annoying talentless minions ask listeners to donate to their piss up.  To which the fucking morons actually do, donating money.

He is closely followed by Christian O'Connell on Absolute Radio. Like Moyles, he is surrounded by a team of arselickers, one of which who pisses himself laughing at every unfunny quip that is uttered. These talentless pricks pick some uninteresting shit topic and try and get a laugh from it, which in turn has the gormless hordes texting in adding their shit, boring comments. Fuck morning radio. I'd rather listen to static

 

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16 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Worst is Chris fucking Moyles, who IMO has ruined Radio X. This fucker loves the sound of his own voice and actually clocks up 23-26 minutes between records. Getting near to Christmas, he and his annoying talentless minions ask listeners to donate to their piss up.  To which the fucking morons actually do, donating money.

He is closely followed by Christian O'Connell on Absolute Radio. Like Moyles, he is surrounded by a team of arselickers, one of which who pisses himself laughing at every unfunny quip that is uttered. These talentless pricks pick some uninteresting shit topic and try and get a laugh from it, which in turn has the gormless hordes texting in adding their shit, boring comments. Fuck morning radio. I'd rather listen to static

 

Sir Terry's unique banter and soothing charm provided us (slightly) older listeners with an escapism each morning from shouty, insufferable idiots such as O'Connell and Moyles. His departure and death left an irreplaceable void for devoted listeners. In typical youth-obsessed fashion, BBC bosses replaced him with the loudest ginger cunt known to humankind whose ego would fill Graham Norton's rectum dozens of times over.

I don't understand why millions can't enjoy someone with the comforting style and tone of Sir Terry, which seems so much better suited to an early start than the ear-splitting duo you mention above. Radio bosses seem obsessed with creating lots of energy and in doing so have forgotten the very different audiences who have been conditioned to a certain type of broadcaster in the past. You are correct: morning radio has become an absolute fucking disaster.

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"..........AAAAAAAAANND that was 'Too Shy' by Kajagoogoo, here on Armpit Gold FM with the time just coming up to 7,45.

HEY, are there any listeners out there who have been 'too shy' at any time who'd like to call in and tell us when they were 'too shy',....maybe to ask their boss for a pay rise, or to ask for a drink at the bar one time or to have first dabs at Davis' arse when recreating the Greenhouse Scene from Scum...er..it's 7.46 on Armpit Gold FM. News on the hour, but just to let you know there's a spillage of Nesquik on the roundabout on the A4132678 as you leave the Meat Past Factory but before you get to the Sugar Beet turning that's causing a bit of a roadblock....AAAAAAAAAAND we don't have a spillage of Nesquick here now, but we do have a Flock of Seagulls with 'I Ran'

(At Krakatoa volume for all eternity)

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Guest Gong Farmer
21 hours ago, Wolfie said:

There are few things more infuriating than some loud, hyperactive, excessively happy cunt hogging the airwaves first thing each day, which, despite being designed to get people in the right frame of mind, generally leaves me feeling angry and bewildered as to why someone acting like a fucking drunk teenage prick on speed is allowed to broadcast live in the first place. It's an insult to the intelligence of millions listening.

Should radio programmers or people of such ilk ever read this, please note that when I am leader of the Fourth Reich, anyone known to have practiced morning radio cuntery in the shape of being brash, mouthy, falsely jubilant and generally insufferable will be, prior to being hunted with dogs and fatally set on fire with lighter fuel, thrown in the same cell as 'Eavens, Welsh Cunt and Ding for 24 hours.

The most insufferable morning radio host is that thick fat diabetic cunt on LBC Steve Allen that spends the whole three hours of his shit show bigging himself up talking about his Bentley. His talents and topics include name dropping slebs he knows but they probably don't know him,his stupid hanging flower baskets that he gets a neighbour to water for him as it's below him to have carry out such a chore, and his collection of Furbies. Yeah Steve, we know you live in effluent Twickenham, we know that you pay your fucking tax on time and you've made it quite clear just how much money you have to fill your shit fifteen year old Bentley Cuntiental with lead free after  ramming it down our uninterested throats for years on end. He must be the only camp queero anywhere that takes the piss out of other camp queeros for being camp queeros, and he's got some wierd love-hate fascination with Peter Andre who gets at least one mention every morning. I bet Peter Andre doesn't even know who the thick egocentric arsepiece is slagging him off at fucking half past four in the morning is when he know's that he's very probably not listening. Gutless fucking cunt.

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24 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said:

"..........AAAAAAAAANND that was 'Too Shy' by Kajagoogoo, here on Armpit Gold FM with the time just coming up to 7,45.

HEY, are there any listeners out there who have been 'too shy' at any time who'd like to call in and tell us when they were 'too shy',....maybe to ask their boss for a pay rise, or to ask for a drink at the bar one time or to have first dabs at Davis' arse when recreating the Greenhouse Scene from Scum...er..it's 7.46 on Armpit Gold FM. News on the hour, but just to let you know there's a spillage of Nesquik on the roundabout on the A4132678 as you leave the Meat Past Factory but before you get to the Sugar Beet turning that's causing a bit of a roadblock....AAAAAAAAAAND we don't have a spillage of Nesquick here now, but we do have a Flock of Seagulls with 'I Ran'

(At Krakatoa volume for all eternity)

That's not so bad. Moyles and his band of morons prattle on for ages.

Don't get me started on Johnny fucking Vaughan either. 

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Guest Snatch
9 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

That's not so bad. Moyles and his band of morons prattle on for ages.

Don't get me started on Johnny fucking Vaughan either. 

Steve Wright was another unfunny cunt who had a few arse kissers with him all the time.

Thank fuck for internet radio.

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