scotty Posted August 18, 2017 Report Share Posted August 18, 2017 5 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: The astute and intelligent Diana Dors had him pegged as a deep cover chutney ferret. She once set him up with a sex bomb of a showgirl to see what happened, and what happened was he ran like a gazelle to his hotel room and locked the door. I also suspect that his ladies man image was a public facade. Well, he managed to sire six children. Although that could just mean he had a winsome smile and a turkey baster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 18, 2017 Report Share Posted August 18, 2017 12 minutes ago, scotty said: Well, he managed to sire six children. Although that could just mean he had a winsome smile and a turkey baster. Or a cooperative milkman, see what I did there. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 I'm just glad he never made any films. I wish Clint Eastwood would die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 1 hour ago, Cap'n Cunt said: I'm just glad he never made any films. I wish Clint Eastwood would die. Sorry Cap'n. I have exclusive rights to plagiarise that particular entry from Viz Letterbocks archive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 3 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said: I'm just glad he never made any films. I wish Clint Eastwood would die. You haven't heard of the cinematographic masterpiece "Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?" Sadly overlooked when it came to Oscar nominations, but Brucie starred as Uncle Limelight (only being upstaged by Joan Collins' tits). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 9 hours ago, Spanky said: He has a pool though. At least he used to. Was Barrymore 's favourite programme 'Only Pools And Corpses? I'll get my three wheeled van Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Trumpton Bacon Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 9 hours ago, Ollyboro said: Jimmy "Tarby" Tarbuck reckons he'll remember Brucie's laughter for a long, long time to come. Hopefully the cunt will only be around long enough to remember his laughter for a couple of days. And looking at the state of him, I doubt Jeffrey fucking Wheeler would give him more than evens to make Forsyth's funeral. It was nailed on I suppose, but the cunts at the Beeb have wheeled Tarbuck out and commenced operation bore the fuck out of everybody for the next fortnight. Even worse, Tarby appears to be in somewhat rude health which is both an unexpected revelation and a major disappointment. Bollocks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap'n Cunt Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 6 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: Sorry Cap'n. I have exclusive rights to plagiarise that particular entry from Viz Letterbocks archive. I'll get my chin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mingeeta Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 16 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said: Beat me to it you sod. Nice to leave you to leave you nice. And lets have a look at the scores on the mortuary doors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 4 hours ago, Mike Hunt said: You haven't heard of the cinematographic masterpiece "Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?" Sadly overlooked when it came to Oscar nominations, but Brucie starred as Uncle Limelight (only being upstaged by Joan Collins' tits). Never mind Joan Collins. Connie Kreski was the only thing noticeable in that pile of shit. Mind you, wasn't Joan Collins married to creepy little Anthony Newley at the time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ollyboro Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 1 hour ago, BuggerLugs said: It was nailed on I suppose, but the cunts at the Beeb have wheeled Tarbuck out and commenced operation bore the fuck out of everybody for the next fortnight. Even worse, Tarby appears to be in somewhat rude health which is both an unexpected revelation and a major disappointment. Bollocks. Fucking Hell, mate, if Tarby's your idea of being in rude health I can only assume that you're an actual cadaver. He has the face of a masturbating bulldog undergoing a stroke in a sauna. I'll bet you a tenner that at Forsyth's funeral Parky spends the entire fucking day following Tarby about trying to tempt the cunt with a pen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 15 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said: The astute and intelligent Diana Dors had him pegged as a deep cover chutney ferret. She once set him up with a sex bomb of a showgirl to see what happened, and what happened was he ran like a gazelle to his hotel room and locked the door. I also suspect that his ladies man image was a public facade. https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/news/565298/brucie-hit-lad-over-gay-jibe/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spanky Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 3 hours ago, Neil said: Was Barrymore 's favourite programme 'Only Pools And Corpses? I'll get my three wheeled van It seems that the council tax payers of Essex are going to be footing the sizeable bill for the rozzers destroying this cunts career. Frankly, whether he was wrongly arrested or not, a couple of million quid has been well worth it for keeping this gurning cunt of the TV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 15 minutes ago, The Lady Penelope said: https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/news/565298/brucie-hit-lad-over-gay-jibe/ Brucie gave him a good fisting and no mistake! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted August 19, 2017 Report Share Posted August 19, 2017 7 hours ago, Mike Hunt said: You haven't heard of the cinematographic masterpiece "Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?" Sadly overlooked when it came to Oscar nominations, but Brucie starred as Uncle Limelight (only being upstaged by Joan Collins' tits). Joan Collins's tits? She's still not married to Anthony Newley is she? He's a tit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 On 8/18/2017 at 9:50 PM, Spanky said: He has a pool though. At least he used to. This cunt (Boris Becker) is now claiming diplomatic immunity The three-time Wimbledon winner claims his appointment as a diplomat by the Central African Republic (CAR) affords him protection from any legal claims. Mr Becker was declared bankrupt in 2017 over money owed to private bank Arbuthnot Latham. He is now being pursued for "further assets". https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44489798 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Penelope said: This cunt (Boris Becker) is now claiming diplomatic immunity The three-time Wimbledon winner claims his appointment as a diplomat by the Central African Republic (CAR) affords him protection from any legal claims. Mr Becker was declared bankrupt in 2017 over money owed to private bank Arbuthnot Latham. He is now being pursued for "further assets". https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-44489798 Fucking hell....where to even start?? I give up. FFS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 3 hours ago, scotty said: Fucking hell....where to even start?? I give up. FFS. Don't start Scotto. That vapid cunt Pen is protected by the Prince of fucking darkness himself. I think there is an element of pity for the cunt. Spends every waking moment of every day of his sad existence on here, resurrecting long dead topics, merely for attention. I imagine the cunt to be that one senile relative at the holiday that removes his dentures to gum his fucking food. I want him dead. Nothing personal mind...I just don't like him. Not one bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 Tarbys daughter has somehow morphed into a rough ole fat thing she used to look quite shaggable Panzerknacker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest luke swarm Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 19 minutes ago, Panzerknacker said: Tarbys daughter has somehow morphed into a rough ole fat thing she used to look quite shaggable Panzerknacker you picky cunt. slap her Gelatinous arse (thanks @Bubba C) and ride the waves Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 7 hours ago, Panzerknacker said: Tarbys daughter has somehow morphed into a rough ole fat thing she used to look quite shaggable Panzerknacker What is it with you and the chubbers panzybaby? Ruth Jones is proper boner killer material and Tarbys daughter even 20 years ago would have required an evening of heaving drinking and some kind and splint to strap to the old chap to guard against the inevitable stage fright when faced with the beef curtains from hell. Things must be worse over the water than we could possibly imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 7 hours ago, Panzerknacker said: Tarbys daughter has somehow morphed into a rough ole fat thing she used to look quite shaggable Panzerknacker When she was in that sitcom about birdwatching, I know exactly what you mean. That must've been early 90s though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Earl Albert of Ross (Bt) Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 7 hours ago, Panzerknacker said: Tarbys daughter has somehow morphed into a rough ole fat thing she used to look quite shaggable Panzerknacker Do you have television over the sea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 15, 2018 Report Share Posted June 15, 2018 8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said: When she was in that sitcom about birdwatching, I know exactly what you mean. That must've been early 90s though. That was a load of fucking shite wasn't it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted June 16, 2018 Report Share Posted June 16, 2018 6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: That was a load of fucking shite wasn't it. Yep, bad enough they thought that birdwatching could be made into entertainment, but managed to find a complete drip for the lead role. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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