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Jiggerycock

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About Jiggerycock

  • Rank
    Epic Cunt
  • Birthday March 27

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Narnia
  • Interests
    Turkish Delight. Battering fuck out the back of wardrobes. Lions and insertions into dwarves

Recent Profile Visitors

4,113 profile views
  1. Got a couple of single parent kids with grandchildren to bring up though, living on an estate - can't be easy for a pensioner with no visible means of support.
  2. "......and we can confirm something we confirmed five minutes ago. We're going over now, live, to a talking head who will tell us it's too early to speculate on the cause of this gore festival (which we're secretly hoping will be a real Brehvik job and not some wimpy Finsbury Park Mosque non-event), but who will speculate like the blazes (ha!) about the cause. ....and than we can confirm the confirmed. That a surprisingly low number of casualties (for the outright lies that we've been told by eyewitnesses we're too lazy to interrogate properly, in our rush to heroically abnegate all editorial control and responsibilities) are dead. We hope to have footage of a grief-stricken relative calling for calm in the wake of this tragedy (NB never anyone getting angry and calling for retribution).....followed by a confirmation of the number of dead in yet another pointless offering to the great God of remorseless, dull facts in place of informed comment".
  3. "Someone should build a bypass over this shithole." - Nicky Wire, Manic Street Preachers, addressing the Glastonbury audience, 1994
  4. That's Billie-Jean King isn't it?
  5. Britain First? Aren't they the knuckle draggers that think they're a threat because their arsehole fucking cunt videos get thousands of hits from their Cro-Magnon followers. By that logic, Jenna Jameson should rule the universe
  6. Fully expect the bodycount to treble after hearing this cacophany
  7. Soppy cunts started way too late and being vegan, haven't the strength to march 6 miles in time to get to Pariliament Square before John Bercow sends all the good little MP's up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire. Rage Against The Alarm Clock
  8. In September I'm going to be cycling from Lands End to John O'Groats to raise money for Bowel Cancer UK I'm doing this because I'm a male menopausal sad-sack, but crucially, I was sick to the back teeth of cunts wanting me to sponsor them for nothing short of a big fuck-off doss on their part. Sponsored pub crawls.....sponsored bungee jumps.....sponsored zip-line descents I shit you not. I was seriously expecting 'Sponsored schnoffing the last chocolate chip cookie whilst being orally pleasured by all of Little Mix'. If you don't have to train for it and it doesn't involve pain then FUCK OFF with your pansy sponsorship requests!
  9. Panama!!! You fucking pleb. I am in full morning suit and topper in the Royal Enclosure this week and was hoping to shove you in front of the leaders in the Hunt Cup tomorrow in an homage to Emily Davison. Now I realise you will be in (appropriately) the Queen Anne Enclosure in your stupid Panama Hat, so watching you get trampled on by a cavalry charge of Thoroughbred horses is denied me, you shithouse! Will you be in Stewards at Henley next week? 'Cos I'd like to drown the fuck out of you then pin your peanut rat head on the bow buoy (again, appropriately) of the Leander Coxless Pair!
  10. Brian Can't anymore Was he Brian 'May' before he died? Fucking hell, someone's been putting weird stuff in my morning coffee again
  11. As a Christian Golfer you can't avoid 1,2 and 4 As a predatory homosexual, you cannot avoid 3 because of your psycho-sexual addiction to 'Raouls Bot-O-Rama, Sauna' in Rusholme ....so that's you fucked in every sense.
  12. Saw the nom 'American Shithouses' and at the risk of coming over all Punkape (hold that picture), I assumed it was about those pitiful moron Yank golf spectators, shouting their inane bullshit a split-second after a player has hit the ball
  13. Show off! An O Level in Metalwork (Grade C) would make you an intellectual in here but oh no, you had to come all over (easy Punkape!) the big 'I am' didn't you?
  14. I thought Farron disapproved of 'falling on swords'?
  15. Unless they are Muslim