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About Rev

  • Rank
    Utter Bastard
  • Birthday 05/10/1918

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  • Gender
  • Location
    - Here's an idea. Fuck Off.
  • Interests
    Mind your own, cunt.

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  1. Is this wrong then?
  2. I don't mind the Vorderman cunt. She seems homely and wholesome enough, but it's a pity her fanny's shaped a Raleigh Chopper saddle. The thigh-gap's there, but she looks like she's participated in a prolonged fisting session with Kenny Everett's Brother Lee Love. Here's one for the ladies. Admit it,'re getting a bit moist, aren't you?
  3. After nearly seven minutes' deep research, I've found a picture of a young Mother Teresa that suggests she could have been quite fuckable for about five minutes in the mid 1930s, long before she became the parchment-faced and cross-eyed old piss-soaked sow we all knew. At some point, I'll wager she was a right dirty cow under the duvet, before God stole her shit.
  4. After much internal wrangling, I have had to have a re-think about this. I'm not sure I could maintain a storky on the old disco-stick if I was vigorously lowering and raising my yogurt-colonels for Mrs May to tea-bag. However, if it were Esther McVey, Caroline Flint, or even Jenny Marra at a pinch, I'd leave those lucky ladies panting and temporarily disabled from the waist down after a noisy and sweaty session with my beard-splitter. I have spoken.
  5. I suppose mounting horses develops that healthy and apparently all-important thigh gap for the ladies; although I suspect a few have completely misunderstood this concept and gone on to contract some pretty fucking serious doses of non-species-specific brucellosis while trying to wrap their ankles around the base of the tail after allowing the horse to mount them. Cunts.
  6. I fucking hate horses; never liked the cunts. They're one of the biggest arseholes of the animal world, just behind that fucking pot-ugly lesbian mandrill Nicola Commie Bastard Mutant Sturgeon cunt. Nobody who's not a screaming homosexualist really gives a flying shit about the bastards. The sooner the poofs' favourite four-legged wankers are marinaded in a piping hot gravy and wrapped in a tasty crispy pancake, the better. Fuck off. Peter Schaffer was a cunt.
  7. Mrs R is sweet and fragrant, like a parochial Jenny Agutter and as such, I claim her as my own.
  8. My take on this illegitimate ginger cunt-stick is that he's stealthily concealing depraved homosexualist tendencies. Let's be honest, all the tarts he's seen in public with are probably paid twinks in frocks. Nothing would surprise me less than to learn that this Fanta-pants prick's idea of heaven is a newly serviced Dyson and a bumper pack of factory-fresh anal beads, just like that jug-eared, yogurt-weaving old lesbian that he calls "dad". I want him dead.
  9. It's not like the olive-harvesting bastards are going to contribute much to the economy anyway. At best, they'll be the goat-bothering cunt who chucks in the "salad" beside your mushroom pakora, or the surly trainee barber who burns the hair out of your ears with a lighter in one of their fucking state-funded pop-up shops. Billy Hayes is a cunt.
  10. There's a cunt at my missus' work who is "transing" from a bloke into a bloke with tits, like this permed mutant. He's bought so much oestrogen off the internet to have the perfect D cups that he's completely fucked his kidneys and is now on a crusade to get as many young female students to approach their GP in order to blag supplemental drugs for his new fanny. I had the opportunity to smack the prick for smugly insulting Mrs Coitus, whereupon it burst into tears, excusing his outburst on the hormone tablets he was getting from fuck knows where. As a man of compassion and tolerance, I felt it was my civic duty to belt the cunt again. He hit the deck like a sack of shit. Nice tits though.
  11. I'll have to agree to disagree with Mrs R here, for which I hopefully anticipate a fucking good spanking and ritual humiliation, with some erotic asphyxiation, nipple-clamps and candle-wax thrown in, if she plays fair. I reckon this North Korean cunt-haired butterball has at long last shit himself and taken off his special wanking trousers, now that the US has rightly or wrongly awoken from its liberal leftard coma.
  12. Isn't it part of Turkish culture that the blokes have to fuck kids to further their ascent into adulthood, or something? As long as Aftab makes my chicken tikka kebabs with yogurt naans, I couldn't give a flying shit what the greasy cunt does in his spare time.
  13. That clap-riddled old horse should be soundly battered with a length of scaffolding and turned into a coarse pâté.
  14. Formula 1's for poofs. It's what gays do when the football season is over. The only good thing about it is the big-titted pre-race groupies and the tantalisingly attractive probability that one of these fucking benders might lose control of their car, hit a concrete bridge at 220mph and turn themselves into 80 kilos of flying mince. Niki Lauda's a cunt.
  15. I don't recall what I've seen this fucking talent-resistant walloper in, but it's a safe bet to assume it was almost certainly shite. Blokes with long hair and "edgy" man-buns like this fucking beany hat-wearing cock-snorkeler should have their inadequate and predictably unmilked-by-a-woman bollocks tasered, then pushed slowly through a commercial bark-stripper. And set on fire. I want him dead.