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About nocti

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    Epic Cunt

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  1. Fuck off Stubbs, you cunt!
  2. You have seriously gone past vaguely entertaining into straight up fucking boring. At least Keith mentioned various types of chan and tumblr shittery to mix it up, even the sheep put a retarded emoji in every now and then, although Rick has that covered these days. You just regurgitate the same old tired bollocks. I mean this to pierce the veil of the punkape character and get through to whatever sad cunt is actually typing all that shit: fucking kill yourself.
  3. I didn't know you were a festival man Spunkers. What's the crazy golf course like there? Have you managed to pop the ball into the clown's mouth? Is the weather any good?
  4. Someone alluded to Jo Guest's transformation into a Tussaud's waxwork of Barrymore playing a pantomime blue waffle in my old Page 3 nom. I thought I'd blocked it out, but alas, I'm yet again reminded. What a fall from grace that is. I would've given my Master System 2 to suck her swingers when i was a smaller, spottier cunt.
  5. I can't make heads nor fucking tails of this Olly, and I have a keen interest in cryptography. It's like you're channelling the spirit of a lobotomised dyslexic. Care to elaborate on this when you've either sobered up or the seance has finished?
  6. I wouldn't fucking stand for this, Ape. Harsh words indeed, but they take on a whole new meaning when you realise they come from someone who needs a fucking lifeguard nearby whenever they drink a glass of water.
  7. Spunkers, this recent peeve of yours obviously stems from the fear of anything going near your mouth that can't be cooked with water from a kettle, or hasn't got a pair of bollocks swinging beneath it. Trust someone who spends most of his life bent over mud-covered car bonnets to find nail biting so fucking unhygienic.
  8. No fucking thank you. The only place I'd like to see you cunts is at a fucking cemetery. No offense.
  9. Their manifesto is a piss-funny read.
  10. Anything other than a vote for the Monster Raving Loony party is a fucking pile of shit. Nectar points on taxes, and a promise that yellow lines will be painted to show where you can park.
  11. I guess Christian Bale is a bit of a cunt, but I think you're being a bit harsh here Pen, you mad old sow.
  12. Yeah, mentally fucking ill. It's like she's had a lobotomy, as well as an abundance of pies. She couldn't find her own arse with both hands and a sat nav.
  13. Good nom, this. About time we got round to the things that really matter. Nothing worse than going down on a fanny, only to realise that it looks more like a fucking arse. I've often wondered if the recent predilection for hairless cunts correlates with the gender fluid shit currently mincing around the web like Christopher Biggins on a fucking eight ball. Not that I want to lob one up something that looks like Brian May's hairbrush, a bit of care and attention is appreciated when it comes to a decent minge, but I'd rather go up against an afro when I go down for a munch rather than have a face-off with a fishy fucking peach.
  14. Regardless of his political stance, I've never trusted the shifty cunt. Always looking over his shoulder.