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About Roadkill

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    Unit 4, Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant

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  1. You're playing a dangerous game, Ratty. Her transformation into Jack Nicholson is almost complete:
  2. Quite rightly, Soles. Sickeningly eager to please flids when they're happy, loud and obnoxious shit machines when they're sad, terrifying killing machines with the ability to rip your throat out in seconds with their teeth when they're angry. At least you know where you stand with cats - even if it is below them.
  3. You are the Shakespeare of our time, Rev.
  4. Lineker can't even control his fucking bowels in public half of the time. The highlight of his career was him shitting himself in the middle of a match and scooting his arse along the grass like a dog with worms. Eavens is a nasty fucking cunt who likes to piss into bushes at the side of roads, then there's Evans who's a ginger snap and would be considered unsuitable for any kind of employment other than mining, which would keep his smug fucking hamster face hidden away in the depths of the earth as all ginger snaps should be. Graham Norton is an annoying little poof who's somehow made being just that into a career. They should do everyone a favour and disband the BBC immediately, liberating everyone of TV license and manipulative news and leaving every one of these overpaid fuckers out of a job. Including the women - seeing as they're so eager for "equality".
  5. Who the fuck is Pudsey?
  6. They gave the Chinks a good kicking back in the day, mind. Confucius must've been turning in his grave.
  7. I'd dip him in acid until there's nothing left but a skeleton with a perfectly preserved skullett.
  8. I don't think there's a vacancy...
  9. So instead of offering better deals to attract new customers they hired some lanky blond fucker who won't wear shoes and will speak to you in a silly accent. Because apparently that fat Go Compare opera wanker, Compare the Market talking rats, or Churchill the sentient plastic dog- who has to endure a hellish existence because his entire body below his neck is one solid, atrophied lump- weren't patronizing enough. Still, could be worse:
  10. Dated: April 25th, 2015. Location: Kathmandu Community Centre, Nepal.
  11. Ah yes. This was during my blue period. Not in any stylistic sense, I'd just ate the Bloo block out of the toilet cistern.
  12. Sadly you don't get to make that choice around here. Eric thought the same thing about his balls until they were the number one topic for debate for about an hour the other day. The Corner moves in mysterious ways.
  13. I'm not sure, but I get the feeling Punky is in a dark place at the moment. And for once I don't mean a Somalian's arsehole...
  14. I said Cecil J Allen was probably a nonce. Your attack on Pen was uncalled for. Cecil died in 1973 by the way. Paul O'Grady is still alive and well. I rest my case.
  15. Thank you, Pen. I am distraught to the point of tears for this horrible and uncalled for assault on my person. I'll probably need years of therapy to come to terms with all of this.