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About Stonk

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    New Cunt

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    Cunting. Cuntery. Cuntage. Cuntulation. Cunt.
  1. Fucksake, his type makes me ill. He'll have some sort of sickening hipster shoes on too. This pasty-faced fucking ginger Gandalf headphones cunt and that fat fucking car crash monstrosity from the other thread should be forced to have sex until his pretentious head pops and she vomits into his empty dead eyes.
  2. Except David Attenborough - he's alright.
  3. BBC News: Weetabix 'set to be sold to US firm' I hope they're better at unpacking the cunting stuff than I am.
  4. I'm not a vegetarian, but if I was, then I would be vegan too. The stupidest, most hypocritical fucking cunts are the vegetarians who are not vegans. Anyone citing animal suffering as a reason for being vegetarian had damned well better follow the logic through and be vegan. Half of chicks born on an egg farm are male, but only females are needed for eggs, so male chicks are immediately killed. Dairy cows only become dairy cows by being forced to give birth, but half of these births are to males, who are swiftly turned into veal. Et cetera.
  5. With or without suction, my sex life is anything but normal. But it will make clearing up Weetabix quicker. Disgusting filth, used by cunts. Only freshly churned butter will suffice for me and my gaskets.
  6. Thank you. I have just sourced the part from tax-dodging cunts Amazon for £3.49 delivered, as opposed to the £36.24 that shyster cunts Dyson wanted to separate me from.
  7. Sir James Dyson OM FRS, you may well be a knight of the realm, a recipient of the nation's most exclusive order of merit, and a fellow of the world's foremost learned academic society, but when your people insist that they cannot supply a simple replacement rubber gasket, and that instead I must purchase an entire cyclone assembly, it becomes clear that both they and you are all cunts.
  8. And yet, in half the time, this topic has 4 times as many posts and 7 times as many views as your dreary Turkish drivel. Half of the lowest common denominators on here don't know what you're on about, and half of the rest don't give a shitting fuck. The crowd wants cunty breakfast cereal.
  9. Male. Receding hairline. Dressing gown. Kitchen. Weetabix crumbs at feet. Check. Violent death? I don't think so. Do I sound unhinged? Mmm. I have a microwave frozen curry lined up for lunch. That should be easy. I can't wait.
  10. Fucking typical. Just as you finish cleaning the Weetabix off your kitchen floor and settle down to read the day's news, there's that fucking Prince Harry banging on about his dead fucking mum. For fuck's sake man, it was 20 years ago. Move on, you cunt.
  11. Oh believe me, there are plenty more cunts in the pipeline. I just start with what's in front of me: a right mess on the kitchen floor. Gravity is a cunt.
  12. No it doesn't. You just get a big pile of fucking monatomic Weetabix.
  13. Weetabix packaging is a cunt. The cunt who invented Weetabix packaging is a cunt. The cunts who, faced with an obvious need for re-invention, have failed to re-invent Weetabix packaging, are sociopathic cunts. And, for good measure, Weetabix is a bit of a cunt too.