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The Halifax has told its customers they can basically fuck off elsewhere if they don't like their stance on staff name badges regargarding gender identity. As this ridiculous shitfest carries on like a runaway train, I hurried down to my local Halifax and, outraged, withdrew my £2.75 and closed my account. Fuck 'em. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10972407/Halifax-suffers-exodus-customers-staff-pronoun-policy.html

So we've done November the 5th where we celebrate the foiling and subsequent (and justified for the time) brutal execution of traitorous catholic cunt Fawkes but still the fucking fireworks go off. Fuckwit tuther side off village decides to let off grenade loud bangers (minus pretty lights) just when every other poor bastard is trying to get the fucking kids to bed (me included and enjoy my one and only beer of the weekend). For my ilk its a pain in the arse but for the many old fuckers, pets, livestock and wildlife it scares them half shitless or worse. Unless it's a Cathrin wheel or a sparkler, fireworks are for mindless wankers easily amused by big bangs and flashing lights. A drive around Glawster between mid October and probably Christmas is good poof on this.

There's not many more things that say "I'm a cunt" than owning one of these abominations of nature. Thanks to some highly talented celebs, every chavy Lewis Hamilton wannabe gets one of these disposable poor little bastards to ponce about with. I had to slow down this morning and manoeuvre around some skinny jeaned prick and his mrs, both with said unfortunate creatures and both on their phones. One assumes that wearing sensible footwear to walk their pretend dogs in the winter is beyond their intelligence hence the reason why they were standing in the road (on opposite sides of course) and not on the grass verge. Also these fucking poor cunts are so inbreed and tweaked to suit their fashion conscious owners they have a host of health issues, especially breathing problems, condemning the breed to a shitty, painful existence. Not to mention the fucking awful puppy breeding industry.

Apparently i've been stuck in a coma or suspended animation for the past 10 years because whenever i go out now, it's all pretentious pricks with waxed handlebar moustaches and plastic hoops in their ear lobes trying to look like a throwback from the late 1800s- early 20th century. What happened to all the goths and emos? Apparently these hipster tools are the current fad. When did this happen?

So coming back into the village after a chilly night run and every other fucker has a midnight sun, laser beam detection light that comes one when I'm running up the middle of the road. These illuminate the surrounding hectare scaring the shits out of me, local owls and poor bastard hedgehogs trying to bed down till April. Death by firing squad, no blindfold, is the only option for these motherfuckers.

Someone famous or well known has died. Quick - post a nom about it on CC as soon as possible - that'll be entertaining. Take, as a very recent example, the death of Barry Norman. Look at the lazy, useless wanker who immediately nominated it.

So, you've got a new car, or an expensive car, or a super car. Very well done - you must be very pleased with yourself. However, it's still a car, and will, therefore, fit perfectly into something called a parking space. Having a new/expensive/super car doesn't give you special permission to ignore the little white lines that most people actively try and park within, and abandon your pride and joy in the middle of two spaces. I think anyone who owns a "normal" car should actively park as close as possible to these cunts, in the hope that they might realise they are selfish, ignorant fucking wankers. Before I finish there's a couple of people I'd like to preemptively tell to fuck off: @Punkape - guaranteed to come back with some faux-affluent bollocks @Witheredscrote - guaranteed to come back with some pathetic flying model based drivel And finally there's a couple of people I'd like to just generally tell to fuck off: @'eavensabove @'eavensabove

Eight Black Lives Matter spacktivists chained themselves chained themselves to a tripod at Stanstead to prevent a 'mass deportation' flight carrying eight (yes, 8 is, apparently, a 'mass' now) failed asylum seekers back to Nigeria and Ghana. Thankfully, the security staff only took a few hours to get rid of these utter fucking wankers. A few hours?? Pour petrol over the sad cunts and set them on fire, give em a fucking good kicking, or drive a plane over them. For fuck's sake, if a spactivist chained himself to my front gate, I'd have the cunt dismembered and in a bin bag within minutes. Soft cunts.

Last week it was Blair whining on about how shit it will be when we leave the EU. This week it's that other fucking twat, Major. Next week, I imagine Cameron will reappear spouting a load of shite. As I understand it, the taxpayer funds a security detail for these fuckers. Why? They're EX Prime Ministers. If someone bludgeoned any or all of them to death, it wouldn't matter a fuck to the general population. If they're so unpopular that someone wants to off them after they've left office, then perhaps they should have been better at their job and not pissed people off. In my perfect world, as soon as a Prime Minister loses his job, he or she should be publicly hanged, flogged or fisted, according to how badly people think they did as PM. I imagine a kind of X-Factor voting system, but without that fucking prick Simon Cowell being involved. It'd stop all these talentless wannabee politician cunts from applying to run the country, and only really dedicated people would enter the political sphere (and, obviousy, people that might enjoy being fisted in public).

Why do some people feel it acceptable to appear in public with their fucking eyebrows joined together? I realise that it's bad luck if a person is blighted by this disfigurement, but it's surely possible to shave or wax or do fucking something to avoid looking like Cro-Magnon cunting man? There's a cunt on The Apprentice at the moment with a fucking horrendous mono. Fucking wanker.

Just discovered my card has been skimmed and used for toll road charges in some European shit hole. Fucking, fuckitty, fuck, fuck bunch of cunts. Decs, I recommend you refrain from using the Lloyds cash machine in Prince of Wales Road.

Driving home tonight, listening to some local radio station, I was delighted when "Won't Get Fooled Again" started booming from my car speakers. I was even more delighted when I realised it was the full version they were playing, one of my all-time favourite tracks. However, I was apoplectic with pure rage when the cunt DJ cut the song just a little bit short, missing the last final chords. Why couldn't the spastic wanker have just allowed it to end properly? Fucking cunt.

Ok, so another niche nom, that I hope won't set that snail munching cretin Scrote off again, but it fucks me off no end. When I get into a car I place one foot, then the other, into the footwell (the clue's in the name), where they remain for the duration of the journey. Why is it then, that my wife's almost brand new car has muddy fucking marks on the dashboard, the door cards, the centre console, the back of the seats - the list goes on. Obviously the people, or should I say cunts, that travel in the car to and from work, have no fucking respect for other people's property. Utter fucking wankers.

So, click on Chrome... Fuckall happens... Check taskmanager, Chrome is there... still fookall happens... restart PC, Go to #1 and repeat None of the fixes work, because it's Chrome that has actually fucked itself up, the xml files want a folder #46 or #48... I have #45 and #47.... Alter the files to correct them... other files are fucking well missing... Try to Uninstall Chrome... see #1 above... Use Revo, see #1 above AGAIN... Finally delete every fucking piece of the fucking cunting wanking bastarding shit off the PC, restart... Just installing Chrome again from scratch (The missus uses it... keeps her shit away from my shit....)... and the missus comes downstairs saying Chrome isn't working on the other PC... FUCKING BASTARD FUCKING ARRRGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This subject has been covered before no doubt but fuck it, these idiots deserve a re-cunt. Cyclists are always bleating on about how badly they are treated on the roads by motorists, but yet still feel it's acceptable, indeed almost their right, to completely ignore the rules of the road that the motoring public are expected to obey. A red light at a junction, to a motorist, means stop, yet to cyclists it seems to mean "fuck it, just go anyway". One way or no entry sign? Fuck it, just go anyway. Footpaths? Town centres? Public spaces? Not a problem when you're a cyclist, as the rules of the road just don't apply. Consequently, when these lane weaving, curb jumping cunts get mown down by an innocent motorist it serves them fucking right - hopefully they'll be maimed for life or killed. Fucking cunts the lot of them.

The peak of a baseball cap was designed to keep the sun out of the wearers eyes, and should therefore point forward. Having the peak at any other angle immediately renders the wearer a fucking stupid fucking cunt.

Fucking hell this drives me insane. All it takes is a few of these cunts in a queue and the whole road grinds to a halt. Why people don't just move as soon as they are able, rather than waiting until they have 100 yards in front, is beyond me. If every cunt in a big motorway queue were to leave a big gap, the people at the back could be virtually stationary for days.