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scotty

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Everything posted by scotty

  1. scotty

    Captain's send off

    😦 😧
  2. scotty

    Beauty and The Flid

    If he had, how likely is he to want to admit it?
  3. scotty

    Captain's send off

    Our dog wanders off at will Eric, without permission, a by-your-leave or an apology. He fucks anything that moves, steals food, pisses on lampposts and shits on the neighbour's lawn. So yes, he's better behaved than me.
  4. scotty

    No speak the English .

    If we're talking pecking order in the entertainment stakes, frank currently ranks slightly below pen and albert. He has become eye-wateringly bad even by the abysmal standards he's worked so hard to cultivate.
  5. scotty

    Ironically introducing a song

    Indeed, him and cook. I saw a documentary about never mind the bollocks recently, the producer said one of the reasons it sounded so different was that jones had to double track the bass, but didn't know how to play one. So he played as if it were a lead guitar with two strings missing. What confused me was I'd always assumed matlock played on the album, he's certainly credited for the songs, but I suppose he must have been ejected by the time they finally recorded it and sid couldn't play a note worth the name.
  6. scotty

    Ironically introducing a song

    Sid was never anything more than a rentaclown, he only got the job because he was lydons mate. Flowers of Romance, my arse.
  7. scotty

    Ironically introducing a song

    A travesty. A genuine, dyed in the wool, 24 carat travesty. Even worse than cook and jonesy teaming up with johnny thunders to record London Boys, and I wasn't overly impressed with their cozying up to biggs either. They did regain a modicum of my respect when they formed the professionals, at least that was honest rock and roll.
  8. scotty

    The Past Did Not Exist

    "Is this spray tan too dark?" asked my wife. "Of course not," I replied, looking up from hiding my wallet and mobile.
  9. scotty

    Stupid bird box cunts

    To be fair, without that phenomenon whatsapp would have been an even more boring place.
  10. scotty

    The Past Did Not Exist

    Did he have a stable of "hoes", eric?
  11. scotty

    Philip Schofield

    I've looked this up decs, and "Break his faggot back over my knee" is homosexual slang for a rather unseemly act involving three men and a bottle of lubricant. I never had you down as batting for the wrong side, would you care to comment?
  12. He probably likes to identify with Mauleverer, judge. And Wharton wasn't the "cad". (Tragically, yes I did read old copies of the Magnet as a child before discovering Ian Fleming. The shame forever haunts me.)
  13. scotty

    Beauty and The Flid

    Not for nothing do I use that avatar, nocks.
  14. scotty

    Beauty and The Flid

    You mean the corner could have been finished off for good? 😳 How would any of us have survived that?? Fucking hell, I'd have had at least another hour a day to lavish my attentions on the wife 😱
  15. scotty

    The Interabled

    You'd lose the bet wizz, it's all over youtube. I'd never heard of the feature before you mentioned it, it is rather endearingly old-school telly.
  16. scotty

    Beauty and The Flid

    Let's just pray that the russians and chinese never get wind of this site. They'd have western democracy shaken to it's very core in a few terrible moments, it could spell the end of civilisation as we know it.
  17. scotty

    Beauty and The Flid

    Yes, of course he did.
  18. scotty

    The Interabled

    Wattled.
  19. scotty

    Sickipedia.

    I sidled up to an ugly little guy in the pub who seemed to be having to fight off the women, they were all over him like a rash and practically throwing themselves at him. “Excuse me mate,” I said, “what’s your secret? Why are all the birds after you?” “I’ve no idea,” he frowned, thoughtfully licking his eyebrows.
  20. scotty

    Sickipedia.

    It's been down for over two weeks now, due to, and I quote, "severe techicnal issues". If they can't even spell "technical", what chance have they got with coding? I know a few of the regulars here were sicki users, including baws, rev c and our own favourite gypsy. So as I think we can safely assume the site is permanently gone, feel free to post your favourite sicki or sicki-type joke. These things need to be preserved for posterity.
  21. scotty

    The Interabled

    ©Fwank 😁
  22. scotty

    The Interabled

    Gwass.
  23. scotty

    The Interabled

    He used to take the piss out of david bellamy's speech impediment on tiswas. That's got to be some sort of ism.
  24. scotty

    The Interabled

    It's political correctness gone mad, wiz. Bring back the black and white minstrel show, complete with lenny henry's guest appearances.
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