scotty

Good lad. You have soared in my esteem, matt le tiss is an absolute hero around here.

Touched a nerve, frankie? Done time for rape, have you?

I walked a girl home through the park the other night after buying her a few drinks in the pub. "When we get to your place, am I coming in for coffee?" I asked. "No you aren't," she snapped. "If your plan was to buy sex, you can forget it." "If you didn't like that plan," I said, looking around, "you're going to hate my plan B."

I vaguely remember baws describing himself once as an "idiot savant", decs. Apparently, that was how the rest of pink floyd viewed syd barrett.

I think that's franks starting point of the yiddish-style haggling. Beware, pk.

Out of interest ding, did you ever get back to that deposed nigerian president? If so, I still want my cut of the money.

Yes, you're correct. But I don't think I've ever heard that argument put forward by anybody, ever. Anyone suggesting that it had been would certainly qualify as fucking stupid.

Did you win?

The death penalty presents something of a conondrum for me. Essentially, the state would be saying "you have committed the entirely unforgivable crime of killing another human being. There is no excuse for this act, under any circumstances other than self defence or war. Therefore, we are going to.....errm.....ahem....kill you. That's different of course, because it doesn't count when we do it."

My thoughts exactly. I suppose people do post under different pseudonyms on here, it's been mentioned often enough by various admins, but what's the fucking point of it? Are they schizophrenic?

There's a tiny hint in his username, olly. You have to look closely and squint a bit, but it's definitely there.

Matt Le God was probably the only footballer in the last three decades who genuinely played for the love of the game. He had the advantage of not needing the money, but the fact remains that he was the best player of his generation. When Blackburn bought the prem title with jack walkers millions, shearer signed for a national record fee, flowers signed as well, plus kenna. Le Tissier turned them down, despite an offer of wages and a signing on fee far higher than shearers, plus an offer of a daily helicopter ride to Ewood Park from Southampton to save him having to relocate. Dalglish was that desperate to get him. I've met Le Tiss a few times, and he's an absolutely top bloke.

Dwarfist!! I asked the librarian whether they had the new book about having sex with dwarves. "How can you stoop so low?" she sneered. I said "that's the one."

I'd hope you wouldn't stoop that low, gobbler.

Now this is just a wild shot in the dark here deccs, but I'm guessing she's not a regular reader of this site.

Like in the film. Was it a burial or a cremation?

There's a lot of truth in that frank. I post stuff on sickipedia, when you are actively trying to find humour wherever you are it definitely helps your mood. Was it really a rattan coffin?

Look on the bright side frank, fifty quid to the morgue attendant and you'll finally get to do her up the wrong'un.

Spelled, eddie. Spelled.

Cheers scrotes, I just googled "piss soaked cunt" and rather wish I hadn't.

You haven't kept your eye on the ball frank. In fact, you've been caught offside huffing and puffing back towards the halfway line. It's lucky for you that you've had scrotes covering your back.

MikeD has been pretty fucking sharp while you've been, ahem, "resting" frankie boy. You're going to need to up your game.

No, he's got his period.

Quite. Newbies are like immigrants, I've nothing against them but they need to learn the basics as soon as they land.

I'm the only bloke ever to make linda lovelace gag on his cock, gypps. It's not very big, I just don't wash it.